If one of your friends got the nikah done after having known his/her future spouse for only 3 weeks what would be your thoughts on it?
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Nothing unusual. Fully arranged marriages do happen and are successful
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Arranged marriages are successful and seem to work quite well so I wouldnt think too much of it.
Would I personally marry a guy after 3 weeks of knowing him? No.
Even arranged marriages allow time to get to know one another.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Sometimes knowing too much can work against a person.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
i only knew mine for 9 days but unn nau dinon mein he was so loving bhai saahib chipkku thay...err i mean hubby saahib and yea I have arguments with him (mainly cuz of me cuz mujhe unki koi innocent si baat burri lagg jaati hai) we've been apart for about 8 months now since I came back to USA and had a wonderful chance to develop understanding....these 8 months have been a blessing in disguise even though they were hard...but we only knew each other 9 days before our nikkah ...and those were enough to know that I can spend my life with him
it all depends on you...how good you are at reading someone and how much he is open and honest with you and shows you his true self... i didnt hide anything of myself either abhi nikkah huwa nahin tha and even though meri nature mein ruuthna nahin hai main kabhi kabhi ruuth jaati thi just thinking that yaar he should be used to my bad moods too and unhe bhi jab ghussa aata hai bohot burra vaala aata hai and I got to see that first hand thoug it was not directed at me woh apni behn ko ghusse ho rahe thay and I was standing there so it all depends you know
ppl have a tendency to put their best foot forward neither me nor my hubby did that before nikkah i guess both of us felt that the other should know our bad sides too and i had felt like I had read him ....waise bhi unse pehle koi pasand hi nahin aata tha...some of the guys were too good looking and i didnt want to marry a hot guy cuz i felt like he wud be full of himself n mujhe pyar nahin karega ...then there were others who seemed akkrru by the way they carried themselves aur kuch nahin pasand aate thay par napaandeedagi ki koi wajjah nahin thi but with my hubby i liked him instantly sometimes we have had fights jis mein unhone mujhe bewajjah daanta bhi aur burra bhalla bola (not gaaliyan) but just hurtful stuff...but I already knew this side of him b4 nikkah as he had done same with his sister in front of me and he knows k main ghar k kaam mein nikammi hun so it didnt surprise him when or even annoy him when his fam used to come over and I didnt do much of anything like no cooking mama mujhe bolti thi beta cold drink leke aao toh main le aati thi but thats about it ...when they had asked for my hand in marriage my mom had told them meri beti mein ek hi kharaabi hai ghar ka kaam aata bhi nahin aur shauk bhi nahin and my hubby's khaalu said humaare bete mein bhi ek hi kharaabii hai ghusse ka tez hai aur ghusse mein zubaan ka bhi tez hai
m just sharing my experience to help show you that it is possible to get to know someone in a few days even I used to think that its not possible but now i know it is...my hubby is not at all different than what he portrayed in those 9 days he is same and in fact i maybe a little different cuz I showed him main ruuthne vaali nakhre vaali larrki hun...which is not always the case...in fact very rarely if ever
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Yeah dude - never marry the hottie - most likely to cheat and be full of himself.
Yeah dude - never marry the hottie - most likely to cheat and be full of himself.
Are you being sarcastic, or serious?
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
pyaricgudia...i kinda agree wid u on that, but like they say 'paanch unglia barabar nahin hothiy' !!
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
I'm serious.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Hot guys can be so full of themselves and act so freaking arrogantly at times...
My concern is that during a longer engagement person you get to know the person quite well(inshallah) so you can possibly say more about his/her character in comparsion to a few meetings. I mean the only reason they haven't had the valima yet is because the flat is not secured so far(that's what I've been told).
Also my friend is now considering to stop schooling and throws away the idea of further studies, which I think is not good at all at such a tender age...
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
^^^bad idea a woman should always be strong in the studies and career department even if her hubby and in laws are perfect angels
We got married after knowing each other for less than a week, so it can work out.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
I did not know my spouse before our engagement , got engaged for one year , then got married.
During our engagement we communicated well and understood each others personalities well, Alhumdu Lillah we are ok being married since last one and Half years.
to the case above refered I would say there should be some time for being engaged for some time will have some advantages like
The individuals will know each others tendencies
will prepare each others mentally , what type of person/family I have to face after my
marriage(it is not only understanding but preparing oneself for adaptation with ups and
downs of one's spouse/family).
So some time prior to get in Nikah or marriage could be recommended always.
However I personally would only highlight this principle that when you get engaged to some person then make it your firm belief that
"mey un sey ethna muhabat krno ga k un ko aur thamam muhabtho sey la purwa kron ga , aur ya challenge donga "Tum bus mujh sey zyada muhabat krney mey nahi jeeth skthee""
All I mean to say is that ,
it depends upon the individuals that how much committed they are.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks…
if you refer to this thread:
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/364532-normal.html
ahem..you can see it clearly works lol!
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Well engagement is something different in my opinion, I think it's fine to not know each other priour to engagement. Originally they had planned to held the engagement party after 3 weeks so I was fine with it but when I arrived my friend said to me:"It's going to be the nikah today, he insisted it would be better this way and more Islamic." So I was of course a bit shocked.
The thing is that ANY person can pretend to be ANYONE within a span of 3 weeks. So during a longer period of engagement you can clearly see how he/she behaves in certain moments hena? Isn't that important so you can judge him/her more wise?
My main problem is with her supposedly wanting to stop school etc. in order to be more focused on home and Islam, which is basically nothing bad, but surely if you're only 18 you should complete your education at least.
However congrats to all of you who got married after a short time and it worked out alhamdulillah, Allah SWT makes everything possible if He wills it.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Thank you Tayyebah for your congratz
When Tayyebah herself is going to Engage or marry ?
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
Tayyebeh is still waiting for her shehzada to come along...but she has no plans to marry until she has finished her studies properly ;)
Only Allah SWT knows when I'm going to get married or IF I'm going to get married AT ALL.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
^ you are sleeping Tayyebeh (as per your mod) , when you will get up , then you will realize when to marry , hope then you finish your studies.
We pray for you , your Shahzada meets you on appropriate time.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
I'm sleeping so I can have a milna with my shehzada in my khwaboon :P hehe...
Jazakallah khair for your gracious dua'a.
Re: Getting married after 3 weeks...
she should finish her studies...it is not unislamic to be educated and it is very important for women to be strong...allah reham kare kal ko 5 bachon k saath widow ho jaati hai toh kya karegi? M only saying because my MIL had a tough time when her husband died she had five kids to raise and almost no education...5 bachon k saath dusri shaadi bhi mumkin nahin....unhone kis tarha se inn sab bachhon ko struggle kar kar k paala hai and the boys had to work while goign to college like my hubby he turned 18 and tabhi se he had a 9 to 5 job plus he was taking class five days a week from 6-9 and would travle by bus to reach home by 10 pm...my god kitni struggle ki MIL ne bhi aur unke bachon ne bhi...so your friend should definitely never ever negate her studies