Getting a place of your own

geminifromkhi · August 14, 2015, 10:46pm

Re: Getting a place of your own

I don’t get it. On one hand you’re saying that the MIL was prepared that her kids will leave the nest, and on the other hand you’re accusing your friend of possibly the biggest crime ever committed of practically forcing her husband out of his childhood home. Why put all the blame on the girl? If the guy was that attached to his mother who took such good care of his wife, wouldn’t he want to stay in his parent’s house? Why would he leave then? Why wouldn’t he want his wife to be taken care of even more by his mother, and stay in his own house, and take on the expenses of maintaining another house? Let’s be fair, 2 people left that house, and everyone in that house according to you knew it was meant to happen, so I honestly fail to see a huge issue here. Yes, the MIL was nice. Yes your friend is lucky enough to have a MIL who treats her like her own daughter, and yes she misses her kids, but it does not in any way mean that your friend has done anything terrible or like you’ve said a few times already, MAKE her husband leave his parents. It’s absolutely ridiculous the spin you keep putting on an issue that frankly speaking the 3 people in question are more well versed about and know more about than you who is an outside unless you happen to be living with them and eating and drinking with them day in and out. And even then, you can never ever know the true feelings and sentiments of someone because only that person will know it. Is it possible that the MIL is possibly paying lip service and is saying she misses her kids? Yes! It’s entirely possible. And it’s absolutely possible that the MIL is also GLAD that she doesn’t have to cook 10 dishes for 1 person and only has to make a simple salan roti for her and her husband. And she might even be glad she has the one lone bathroom in the house all to herself again finally. Because it’s possible that while her bahu rani is taking a long ass shower, she has to wash her hands to cook 10 more dishes for her.

Let me clarify myself. I am not saying she committed a crime. Even according to Islam a son is allowed to shift from his parents house after getting married, just like he is allowed to marry 3 more women, but if any of your’s husband marries another woman, you will be crying buckets and you will call him a cheat and a fraud. A women in an arab country, on the other hand, will be perfectly ok if her husband marries another women, because its quiet normal there. So you see, its all about the culture. Culture shapes your feelings.

Yes MIL was mentally prepared. And btw it isnt like her MIL is badmouthing her or anything, she is just sad, are you blaming her for that?

And yes obviously my friend MADE her husband leave her parents, why else would he leave them. And they had a big house, with lots of bathrooms, dont you worry about that.