Re: Getting a place of your own
Few thoughts:
-
Don’t make up things out of thin air. I never wrote that you and I can do anything overnight.
-
Cultural norms/traditions don’t have overnight. It takes time. Every major cultural change takes time. But it all starts with every day people like us and how we think/handle situations. By supporting the idea that a bahu should live with the in-laws simply b/c the inlaws are lonely/sad/need to be closer to their grandkids etc…and refusing the apply the same treatment to the bahu’s parents is hypocritical. Change won’t even start to happen as long as people continue to support ideas like this. If a friend of mine was feeling this way, I would ask her what I wrote earlier…whether she feels the same way about leaving her mother. If a bahu can deal with the guilt of leaving her own mother, then she can deal with the guilt of leaving MIL. If a woman’s mother can handle the sadness from having her daughter move out, then a MIL can deal with the sadness of having her son move out. Change happens in baby steps. As women, it’s up to us to lead this cultural norm by treating all other women the same instead of giving special treatment to a woman b/c she gave birth to a boy (which btw leads to plenty of problems even before the boys get married).
-
LOL…I don’t know about your parents but mine don’t need a damad or anyone else to serve them chai. Both my parents are more than capable and willing to make their own chai.