Getting a place of your own

[geminifromkhi]

Re: Getting a place of your own

@S_Punk

^ That’s very flawed logic - it’s tradition in India to kill female children… their mothers did it, grandmothers did… son’s are not called burhapay ka sahaara for no reason! Kill those baby girls.

Some traditions and cultural practices are stupid and ridiculous. They should be eradicated. One of the most prevalent in South Asians is the idea that a girl must leave behind her own family and be her ILs/husbands thru and thru. Each human being has rights and responsibilties to EVERY relationship in their life. Spousal and parental dutis are first and foremost. Then comes everything else. If we expect the son to be his parents sahara and companion in old age… a daughter has the same responsibility to her parents. Maternal grandparents can become just as lonely without their grandkids. It goes both ways.

On the other hand, it’s also understood that a man can’t live with his wifes family bcos essentially he takes over for her well-being etc frm her parents (Islamically speaking). But we take it a million steps further and shove this joint family system, DIL-guilt on every women and justify is using Islam. Islam preaches balance and justice. Why don’t we start their rather than “husband is majazi khuda” or “burhapay ka sahara”. Will do leaps and bounds of good for our crappy society.

Sorry for the long post.

You are comparing two very different traditions. Killing daughters is morally and ethically wrong, and nothing in the world can justify this pathetic tradition. On the other hand, a son living in the same house as his parents after getting married makes sense. Parents wont be lonely and depressed, grandkids will get to learn a lot from grandparents, grandkids will have so many loving figures around, there will be someone to look after the children when both husband and wife are out. This setting is convenient. But of course if in laws are controlling and intruding, it makes sense to live somewhere else.

Like you pointed out, there will be complications if daughters and their husbands live with their parents. Unless maternal grandparents dont have sons, why would they be lonely?