Lafanter, lets make a distinction. Supporting your parents when they did so much for you is very important. However, not every MIL and FIL of a woman needs to live with their kids and DIL’s. Many elderly are perfectly good living on their own - and when they do get nonfunctional, nurses can be hired, or they can move in with a son or daughter and their family. I agree that people should cooperate. If my in-laws move in with me, I’d be fine with it.
Versus in-laws who constantly interfere in your marriage decisions that really should be between you and your husband. For example:
Does your mom have the right to decide what dishwear you and I would have, and the COST OF WHICH is burdened on MY parents, and if MY MOM doesn’t buy the right plate design then all hell breaks loose? Is that normal?
Does your mom have the right to tell you what to do with your paycheck? What allowance to give your wife? To tell you that your wife only needs 3 pairs of saris for the year, and to give her the rest of the check? Believe it or not, it happens.
Does your mom have the right to handle the income coming into your home and divide it up as she sees fit, when maybe her own husband has his income/savings?
Does your mom/sister have the right to comment to your wife about her clothes, about the way she washes dishes, about her methodology of house cleaning, of what she feeds your kids?
Do they have a right to compare your wife with all the other rishtas your family was entertaining with you and throw that in your face?
If these stories are sounding ridiculous, believe me, they happen. Most of them were reported here on GS by victimized women.
So when I say “cut the cord”, I mean that you as a MAN (rather than a spoilt boy) need to set boundaries as to where your mom can and cannot interfere in your life.
Just like you don’t let her decide what music you listen to, what concerts you go to, what girls you hit on and wink at on the streets of Pakistan, you should be man enough not to let your mother ruin your marriage.