Get Your Act Together Boys

[Lafanter]

OK. dont have time so I m gonna keep it short

@Pareezay

im pretty sure a girl’s mother does the SAME for her too. so why do they have to leave their parents and go live with a guy? and why shouldn’t the girl’s mother interfere with things also just like the boy’s mom does?

the main thing is to find a BALANCE in your relationships with the mother and the wife. islam has given both of the women in your life numerous rights, don’t exploit them or ignore them and your life will be great.

lol, it is common sense. girls leave their parents and their brothers take care of them, simple as that. Yes, where there are no male siblings in the family then girl can take a stance, no big deal. I wont mind talking care of my parents inlaw

other than that you have kinda summed up ur self. BALANCE
but I want to add some thing like not all the mothers interfere in their childrens lives. there are millions of families in pakistan living happily. I dont know I havnt seen that happening in real life but just in movies and TV.

@PyariCgudia

Lafanter, lets make a distinction. Supporting your parents when they did so much for you is very important. However, not every MIL and FIL of a woman needs to live with their kids and DIL’s. Many elderly are perfectly good living on their own - and when they do get nonfunctional, nurses can be hired, or they can move in with a son or daughter and their family. I agree that people should cooperate..

Well, I m not born or raised in western culture so I m not comfortable with this idea. I wont let my parents be alone. In older age they dont look for ppl to take care of em, they want company, they want love.

@PyariCgudia

If my in-laws move in with me, I’d be fine with it..

double standards, that is not what you said in your 1st post lol

@PyariCgudia

Versus in-laws who constantly interfere in your marriage decisions that really should be between you and your husband. For example:

Does your mom have the right to decide what dishwear you and I would have, and the COST OF WHICH is burdened on MY parents, and if MY MOM doesn’t buy the right plate design then all hell breaks loose? Is that normal?.

lol no my mom has no right. i agree

@PyariCgudia

Does your mom have the right to tell you what to do with your paycheck? What allowance to give your wife? To tell you that your wife only needs 3 pairs of saris for the year, and to give her the rest of the check? Believe it or not, it happens..

again, I agree. she has no right

@PyariCgudia

Does your mom have the right to handle the income coming into your home and divide it up as she sees fit, when maybe her own husband has his income/savings?.

again, I agree
but she can give good suggestion abt money management etc

@PyariCgudia

Does your mom/sister have the right to comment to your wife about her clothes, about the way she washes dishes, about her methodology of house cleaning, of what she feeds your kids?.

ofcourse they cannot enforce their way of doing things

@PyariCgudia

Do they have a right to compare your wife with all the other rishtas your family was entertaining with you and throw that in your face?.

that would be pretty rude, they have no right

@PyariCgudia

If these stories are sounding ridiculous, believe me, they happen. Most of them were reported here on GS by victimized women.

yes i know it happens

@PyariCgudia

So when I say “cut the cord”, I mean that you as a MAN (rather than a spoilt boy) need to set boundaries as to where your mom can and cannot interfere in your life. .

Agree

@PyariCgudia

Just like you don’t let her decide what music you listen to, what concerts you go to, what girls you hit on and wink at on the streets of Pakistan, you should be man enough not to let your mother ruin your marriage.

Agree

NOW, I dont know where you live, what have seen or what have u been thru. NOT all men are like what you are perceiving. All those troubles you have mentioned do occur but not on a very big scale. I dont know I dont see that happening in my family or my nabor hood or … but just in media. There are heaps of very good men and very good families in and out side pakistan, pls dont spit on all of em.

@PyariCgudia

Besides, do you let her be part of your decision to sit in GS chat and put on your cam and show all of us girls your KHUBSOORAT CHEHRA?

I’m sure you care about your mom so much, you allow her to be part of that important daily hobby of yours.

hahahaha WTH?
when did that happen, itna barra ilzam
BTW thanks for the compliment lol

anyways, my parents have never enforced any thing on me. I have taken all the decision in my life. They dont know how much I earn and where I spend and how much I have. I can go any where I like, do what ever I like, marry who ever I wish to and as many times as I want to. they do not interfere at all.

Pls dont be so judgmental and pessimistic. Life is not all what you perceive it to be. Come out of your box and see how beautiful life is and how good ppl are. Its all in your head.