Get to know him

[Sara516]

Re: Get to know him

You're doing the xact same things as them, you've mentioned it here before as well; so, again, what gives you the right to point fingers at them?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Get to know him

@mulz

Atleast I dont try to put a Maulana image and as per our culture woman shouldnt be doing these things, rt ;D ? I guess Pakistani girls get wings once they come to this part of the world lol :D

Yeah, kinda like how you got wings when you jumped off from PIA once you got away from Pakistan?

[mulz]

Re: Get to know him

@PyariCgudia

Yeah, kinda like how you got wings when you jumped off from PIA once you got away from Pakistan?

nah, i havent gotten wings yet hon. I am a simple paindu. I am just trying to see we practice what we preach dear and we stand for as a society, nation and community. I am all for gender equality if thats what you are hinting at but not at the expense of our culture. Does it make sense?

[Sara516]

Re: Get to know him

So ABCDs and Paindus got somethign in commoN :D

[Ex-Guppan]

Re: Get to know him

PCg ..... (to ur last response) LOL!

Ira, I agree with you!

LB: Actually, I think it's a good forum to know someone without even trying to get to know them, LOL!!! Read various posts in various threads by the same person and you'd at least know their approach, and mentality. Of course no one is perfect but what makes a relationship successful is how we manage it. Going into blind marriage and then finding out that guy's approach....... that can be very very painful to compromise with.

[mulz]

Re: Get to know him

@Larki-NY

PCg ..... (to ur last response) LOL! Going into blind marriage and then finding out that guy's approach....... that can be very very painful to compromise with.

how did our elders cope with that then? why do marriages fail BIG time in the west then? the boy and the girl stay together for ages b4 marriage, have kids and then decide one day they really are in "LOVE" and get married and the marriage lasts for like 1 or 2 years... thats it!

[LegallyBrown]

Re: Get to know him

If you find all of Lajjos posts addressed to me, they basically say the same thing regardless of what the topic is.

I guess he's got a copy n paste template that he uses rather than his brains.

In this context his reply quoting to what I had said doesnt make sense.
Dont think he even bothered to read and understand what i wrote.

But then again thats Lajjo, lakir ka fakir.

[Sara516]

Re: Get to know him

^ Thas very xtreme.. not many desis do that.. hello, what is so wrong with wanting to know the person ure gonna marry?Sorry not all of us think marrying a total stranger is okay

[SyedAbduallah]

Re: Get to know him

I wasn't trying to be funny but that is one of the goals in my life; to marry 4 women and have 40+ children(hopefully all boys but girls are alright too I suppose). To achieve that goal I don't want women that are into this indpendent career femlib nonsense, but 4 women who know how to cook and clean, have strong wide hips for childrearing purposes, are young and fertile, and are willing to give up atleast 7 and a half years of their life being pregnant. I think its rather sad you single me out and criticize my beliefs. I know many muslim women who have lived lives similar to this and are completley content.

[mAd_ScIeNtIsT]

Re: Get to know him

^^

I live in fear of being nagged by 4 wives. It’s one of my nightmares

nag nag nag nag do this do that do this do that do this do that do this do that why are you coming home late why are you coming home late why are you coming home late why are you coming home late nag nag nag nag you need to lose a little weight you need to lose a little weight you need to lose a little weight you need to lose a little weight you never buy me anything nice you never buy me anything nice you never buy me anything nice you never buy me anything nice not tonight I have a headache not tonight I have a headache not tonight I have a headache nag nag nag nag*

[smilestar]

Re: Get to know him

^ i think even one might be a handful for you maddy :D

[WitchDr]

Re: Get to know him

@SyedAbduallah

I wasn't trying to be funny but that is one of the goals in my life; to marry 4 women and have 40+ children(hopefully all boys but girls are alright too I suppose). To achieve that goal I don't want women that are into this indpendent career femlib nonsense, but 4 women who know how to cook and clean, have strong wide hips for childrearing purposes, are young and fertile, and are willing to give up atleast 7 and a half years of their life being pregnant. I think its rather sad you single me out and criticize my beliefs. I know many muslim women who have lived lives similar to this and are completley content.

Dude you need to work on your mathematics. Even if you plan on a touch and go "again" strategy, you did not take into account the probability factor. What you want to do with the 40?? Make 3 teams?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Get to know him

Oh comon people, some of the multinickers in this thread are obvious. No need to take their exaggerated comments that seriously.

[SyedAbduallah]

Re: Get to know him

[quote]
are willing to give up atleast 7 and a half years of their life being pregnant
[/quote]

Keyword.

[Xcom_Cheetah]

Re: Get to know him

@Ira

I would like to make things easy for some guys who seem confused as to why the girls are reacting the way they are in this thread. If i am mis-speaking, girls please correct me.

We all like to have choices, dont we? I think what makes most girls mad is not being able to have choices. On top of that there are folks in this thread saying that women are made only for cooking/cleaning/making babies (Abdullah, that was pretty offensive what you wrote, and so not funny even if you may have thought of it as funny). I like to labeled as a human being and not a baby machine or a maid. Allah has granted me a brain to think, and I would like to actually use it. I understand why women need protection and all but please dont think of us as objects. We dont like that

What i also found offensive was Anil’s post on the first page where he says girls who are opinionated will run into problem with inlaws. I respectfully disagree. Having your own opinions should in no way damage your relationships to anyone. It just means you actually have a personality of more than a broom.

Thank you.

I just want to ask a question, how come u think that a girl raised at home readings books and getting taught by parents will not have an opinion.?

i think she will have more mature and flexible opinion… You start getting opinion moment u see a thing and this opinion can be based on ur education / teaching, reading , family background, surroundings, experience and so many other variables. So just calling somebody who doesn’t have gone thru university education as opinionless is just another form of self-praising.

Calling a mom a baby machine is just another shocking remarks. MY religious and educational teachings tells me that raising a child is the 24/7 job without any vacations. So it simply is a toughest job… Ya if u have other plans like raising your child by letting him/her out of the house all day long and just letting him/her in at night for the sleep than definitely u can say those things, else i don;t think any mother who has worked hard on her children will like to be called as such.

Having ur opinion is one thing but remainig on your own opinion even being proved wrong and not even giving a thought for a second to the other’s point of view is another thing… i think everybody should honestly evaluate him/herself …

[Anil_Khan]

Re: Get to know him

To clarify: I didn't mean to imply that having an opinion is a negative attribute. What I meant to say was that Girls need to be careful how they express their opinion, espeically and specifically after they get married (assuming she gets married into an extended family). They must understand that in a typical Pakistani extended family there is a heirarchy: Parents > Elder brothers > husband and wife. Now, the wife cannot come into this family and start to have *nakray *or talk back or imply certain things to the elders in the family. She must understand that she is the youngest and she **must **respect her elders. By the same token, the elders including her husband will love her and look out for her and all the good stuff. But if the girl comes into the family and starts to pick fights with the mother then thats not the rite way to start off her marriage. Further, the mother should treat this girl as her own daughter and not think of her as competition.

Hope I've made things clear.

[Lajawab]

Re: Get to know him

@LegallyBrown

If you find all of Lajjos posts addressed to me, they basically say the same thing regardless of what the topic is.

I guess he’s got a copy n paste template that he uses rather than his brains.

In this context his reply quoting to what I had said doesnt make sense.
Dont think he even bothered to read and understand what i wrote.

But then again thats Lajjo, lakir ka fakir.

Hain?

I think this is the second or third time on GS that I have ever directly addressed your post…

Watchutalkinboutwillis?

[Confucius]

Re: Get to know him

@WitchDr

Sara: Most girls and boys don't think like you. They try to portray their best part before marriage and after marriage things do not look the same. The other thing is that "Love is blind". Once you are in love, you tend to overlook other person's drawbacks.

until aftermarriage :)

I agree with all who believe that you need to get to know the person before marriage and the longer you know them the better as you both get to know more about each other

A quote I heard -- Can't remember the origin

Before Marriage - Keep your eyes wide open
After Marriage - Keep them half closed...

There are many things that you needto consider before you marry someone.. no matter how "in love" you think you may be with the other person there are issues that will crop up before and after marriage .. there will be many habits that will annoy the hell out of you but you need to learn to ignore or compromise.

All I an pray for is that whomever we marry (including me) will lead to understanding, love and happiness

[Ira]

Re: Get to know him

@Xcom_Cheetah

I just want to ask a question, how come u think that a girl raised at home readings books and getting taught by parents will not have an opinion.?

i think she will have more mature and flexible opinion... You start getting opinion moment u see a thing and this opinion can be based on ur education / teaching, reading , family background, surroundings, experience and so many other variables. So just calling somebody who doesn't have gone thru university education as opinionless is just another form of self-praising.

Calling a mom a baby machine is just another shocking remarks. MY religious and educational teachings tells me that raising a child is the 24/7 job without any vacations. So it simply is a toughest job... Ya if u have other plans like raising your child by letting him/her out of the house all day long and just letting him/her in at night for the sleep than definitely u can say those things, else i don;t think any mother who has worked hard on her children will like to be called as such.

Having ur opinion is one thing but remainig on your own opinion even being proved wrong and not even giving a thought for a second to the other's point of view is another thing... i think everybody should honestly evaluate him/herself ...

Cheetah, i had to reread my post several times and no where did i find i wrote that homeschooled kids arent good enough or that** I** personally agree to women being baby machines. I was replying to several comments in the thread where folks believed (or atleast i read them to believe) that women should be confined to the house and that they want to have 40 kids and etc etc.

I have no personal experience or knowledge of how kids turn out if they are homeschooled so i cannot comment on taht. I think the point i was trying to make in an earlier post was taht how come we dont do the same to our sons but only daughters.

Regarding women being called baby machines : if someone tells me they want to get married to 4 women just so they can have 10 kids each, what should that sound to me? I dont appreciate such jokes and hence will take such a comment seriously, and you are right : it is downright offensive to call a woman that.

I am not sure what in post made you to believe that i have such thoughts. Sorry to have confuzzeld ya.

[parissenoor]

Re: Get to know him

@Anil Khan

To clarify: I didn’t mean to imply that having an opinion is a negative attribute. What I meant to say was that Girls need to be careful how they express their opinion, espeically and specifically after they get married (assuming she gets married into an extended family). They must understand that in a typical Pakistani extended family there is a heirarchy: Parents > Elder brothers > husband and wife. Now, the wife cannot come into this family and start to have *nakray *or talk back or imply certain things to the elders in the family. She must understand that she is the youngest and she **must **respect her elders. By the same token, the elders including her husband will love her and look out for her and all the good stuff. But if the girl comes into the family and starts to pick fights with the mother then thats not the rite way to start off her marriage. Further, the mother should treat this girl as her own daughter and not think of her as competition.

Hope I’ve made things clear.

:Dand you think that educating girls behind doors and books are the way to teach them modesty :D…so mistaken you are:bummer:…I like extended families…and inshallah will live in one after i get married…BUT I learnt how to behave in difficult environements by going out in the world and studying:D…no i’m not gonna discuss the oil market prices trends with my MIL:snooty:

ps, husband is NOT an elder…at least mine will be younger…lol