I would be open and honest with him, sit him down and say that you consider him to be part of the family, however you don't see the same from his side.
Tell straight out that you try to do your best to accommodate his every whim however you need some support from him too, and then give him examples, you can also remind him that unlike back home you dont have a maid that comes and does everything, you have to do it yourself.
Gently tell him the standards of your house, and you wish for him to maintain them, eg tidy his room.
also a little reminder that with his age, your younger ones will be learning these habits and thats not ok with you.
I always believe in a delicate situation like this, the truth is the best way forward, if you fluff your way around it, he won't read your signals, give it to him straight:ASA:
OK i havn't read all responses but yes it is a cultural difference esp if he came from pak. moms over there spoil their sons. No actually pakistani moms everywhere spoil their sons. they r just crazy after their precious sons.
u'll find most desi kids like that.
So start asking. start giving some rules. Don't fel bad abt it. tell him he's just like ur sons and u expect same set of manners from him. since he's a part of family now same rules apply for all. Make a written sheet n tell him specificly whats allowed n wats not. Also wats expected and wat's not. If u pick him up, do his laundary etc he can take care of boys once a week or go grocerry shopping with u... but b4 u talk make a plan with hubby n both talk same things to him so he knows there's no way out but follow ur house rules..
Does your husband know about his nephew's behaviour? I'm surprised your husband hasn't taken care of the situation already. You're husband should talk to him and lay down some rules of the house.
Mabrook is right though, desi mom's do spoil their sons, however, this boy is SEVERELY SPOILED. What you described is not normal (even by desi standards), in fact it is downright rude.
Mo3 I would say its a cultural thing. You see back in Pakistan boys are not used to doing anything around house becuse their mothers, sisters or maids would take care of household stuff. They get their food prepared and infront of them, they get fresh ironed clothes to wear without lifting a finger., They roll outta bed with out making it becuse they will get to sleep in nicely done bed the next night. So they are spoiled in this sense that nobody ever ask them to do this stuff and they do not percieve it as their duty. Now even back home kids who go to cadet colleges or live in bording schools are much more responsible for doing their own stuff around the house. Its all in social learning you see.
Now if you want him to behave differently you have to voice it...perhaps bring the topic over dinner so your husband can be part of it too.
i don't see it just back home. i see it in families over here too. almost all our family friends make kids play in their rooms on comps. girls r asked for a lil help but boys r only served. for them its school n their rooms. so when these kids go to other ppl's house they would never lift a finger as they are never familiar with this thing.