Have you ever felt on any occasion that you were given benefit or disadvantage over anyone only on the basis of your gender ?
How did you feel about it ?
Re: Gender or Character
As I have seen here that people very openly and bluntly narrate what they think to be the truth, based on their experiences let me tell you what alot of boys in my college used to think....
For example.
In university some teacher who because of her very bad past experiences with men think "All men are ......ahem" might seem to always have a soft corner for female students who are in competition with male students, for whom.... Bhai ghussa kahin to nikalna hai....
or
A young male teacher might easily get distracted by a fresh beautiful colourful sight, which is prepared in alot of time with alot of efforts, with over addition of sweet fragrance and a soft voice when a student wants to review the marks given in exams (very shameful)
p.s. There is someone on the internet world ( this forum), if she were my teacher in a class where there is a cut throat competition between boys and girls, I swear I would have long ago ran away from the class like a coward student, because I know no boy in that class would have been able to get highest grades, because all men are.......
Re: Gender or Character
Have you ever felt on any occasion that you were given benefit or disadvantage over anyone only on the basis of your gender ?
How did you feel about it ?
well to me NO - i havnt ever given the disadvantage over any opposite gender......let it be competing for a job interview or anything else...
if ppl are fair then their fair..... and especially in UK ebing a modern-mdodest muslim no body has ever let me down coz im a girl or a muslim....so far its been fair with me alhumdulillah
Re: Gender or Character
well to me NO - i havnt ever given the disadvantage over any opposite gender......let it be competing for a job interview or anything else...
if ppl are fair then their fair..... and especially in UK ebing a modern-mdodest muslim no body has ever let me down coz im a girl or a muslim....so far its been fair with me alhumdulillah
its always "advantage" being a girl ...................
duh!!!!!!!!!!!! we guyz always have to work hard to get good marks or good salary
Re: Gender or Character
errr i dont think so mister…last time i went for an interview and 2 Tax partners (FYI they were females) interviewed me and this other girl…and she got the job coz she had few more months experience then i did…
so dont go round sayin i got the advantage…
Re: Gender or Character
2 female interviewer took the interview of 2 female candidates … how can they be biased ?
Re: Gender or Character
But I do understand that in alot of Jobs even if they give equal opportunity to both genders, a lot of religious females would avoid them because they would not be comfortable in that environment, so the favour automatically goes to men.
Besides, in Pakistan men can easily push each other to enter a bus, shop, or any crowded place, but women would either have to wait for a long time by sending some mehram, or (if people are kind enough) they would obey the rule (ladies first)
Re: Gender or Character
(if people are kind enough) they would obey the rule (ladies first)
y there is no such thing as men first ..........
y always guyz have to be gentlemen n have to give way to ladies .............
i've neva seen a girl saying ............ app agey ajayein .... mujh say pehley flan flan cheez ley lein .........
Re: Gender or Character
But I do understand that in alot of Jobs even if they give equal opportunity to both genders, a lot of religious females would avoid them because they would not be comfortable in that environment, so the favour automatically goes to men.
Besides, in Pakistan men can easily push each other to enter a bus, shop, or any crowded place, but women would either have to wait for a long time by sending some mehram, or (if people are kind enough) they would obey the rule (ladies first)
ok now that i disagree with......first the hijabans want a good job and go for an interview but arnt comfortable with an interviewer?......God if u dont want to work amongst men y ur entering a tough world of men?...sit at home and let ur husband do it!!!!
i jus dont understand these women.....shurum n haya is within u, a piece of hijab doesnt proove anything to me.....if ur a strict hijabun ur not even suppose outside ur home...ur not even suppose tobe doing a job...etc etc.....and no if ur a hijabi the advantage does not go to men at all....if u proov urself rightous and are compatible u shud get the job provided the other party isnt rasict.....
im not a hijabi, but others respect me nuf coz they know im a muslim and i have limits......
Re: Gender or Character
A young male teacher might easily get distracted by a fresh beautiful colourful sight, which is prepared in alot of time with alot of efforts, with over addition of sweet fragrance and a soft voice when a student wants to review the marks given in exams (very shameful) .....
If that doesn't persuade the teacher to review the grades he gave, than next time the beauty is even more prominant and the sweetness in fragrance and voice increases heart gripping. If that also doesn't work, than the weather becomes sad full of self pity, and the fresh beautiful scene becomes full of red clouds and it starts raining, and the soft voice becomes childish and full of self pity.........
Usually the rainy scene works and the young male teacher is forced to change the grades, without knowing that history wouldn't remember him as a kind person but as a "fool" by the same people who looked "Mazloom" to him at that time.
Re: Gender or Character
well when we were in paki... my cousins and i went to get tandoor roti, anyways, there were about 8 guys infront of us, and we got our order 4 all of them.... being a girl, i didn't mind getting preference as i got treated first :)
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This teacher you speak off....
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oh common stop with all this rubbish…dusnt happen now-a-days as much…thats redicolous… and stop with the description it dun suit u and is makin me sick…
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I've seen both sides of this coin. When I was in the working world, I had an advantage being the gal. I worked very hard and I knew my stuff and was very dedicated to doing my job well - a job that was dominated with men (wall st. technology). I got the bigger bonuses and raises in part because I was a minority. Some of the guys in my group worked every bit as hard - or harder and knew as much - or more than me. Yet I usually got the top. It looks really good for a big corp to advance minorities. I understand that yet I still felt bad - a little bit anyway - that some of the guys were somewhat shortchanged for having me in their midst.
Once I had my boyz, I left the working world at became a stay-at-home mom. When you go see a doc, a dentist, a teacher etc and they know you're at SAHM, they assume that you maybe can read but thats about it. When my hubby takes them to docs, dentist, teachers - he is treated absolutely differently, afforded respect and they take it for granted that he is an intelligent being. I, on the other hand, have to "get in their faces" to make them understand that I'm not an ignoramus.
I guess these things are human nature, annoying but generally true. As they say "Life's not fair" so if you're handed lemons, make lemonade.
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^^
makes sense...
Re: Gender or Character
I know I feel bad also but the truth doesn’t change when we try to ignore it. Actually it is the other way round. It didn’t used to happen before as much.
Why doesn’t it suits me, though it is embarrasing to say, but it has been used as an effective tool, which hurts me alot.
Re: Gender or Character
I guess these things are human nature, annoying but generally true. As they say "Life's not fair" so if you're handed lemons, make lemonade.
Well said, and thanks alot for sharing views and experience related to the matter.
@ Topic. People sometimes feel shy in mentioning the truth, which actually makes it easy for evil to survive, though I know the examples I gave might make some of the people feel bad as teaching is one of the most honourable profession in the world, but avoiding the truth and feeling shy to discuss it actually causes ignorance among common innocent people.
p.s. I always considered Teachers to be equal to my parents, but after some shocking experiences I was forced to change my views and to believe that those days are gone when "Most" teachers were the REAL educators of soul.
It is because of such weaknesses which some teachers show other students try to exploit those areas. (Again shameful but the TRUTH)
Re: Gender or Character
I have seen it happening alot of times. Alot of times with females...getting advantages due to their gender. It's sad, really. but it does happen. Alot of times you also see other giving favors on basis of looks. This goes with both genders.
The world isn't fair but that's just how it is.
Re: Gender or Character
Alot of times you also see other giving favors on basis of looks. This goes with both genders.
True, you see sometimes some sunnahs act like a blessing in disguise. There is alot of difference in the situations / tests I used to come across before keeping beard and after that, and I have seen/heard similar stories of how a girl before doing hijab was welcomed by extra efficient people in public places like shops, banks, hospitals....etc. and how their behaviour became normal after she started doing Hijab.
Extra efficient men = Who were behaving very rudely with a poor old man, but suddenly a spark came in their eyes and their colour turned red due to excitment when they saw a colourful customer entering their shop / office.