Gender or Character

[Submission_To_Peace]

Re: Gender or Character

Three injustices of which woman has been a victom since ages in "Ignorant societies" were / are;

1. She would be told by her OWN PARENTS that she has to live like a slave of her husband, no matter how much her husband violates her rights.

2. The sad smiles on the faces of some parents at the birth of a girl and relatively more excitement on the birth of a baby boy. Most of the times they repent as they realize later in life (in old age) that the daughter was more sincere, loyal, caring and loving with them than their son.

3. The frequent reminding of a parent to the daughter that she is a GIRL and her brother is a BOY when she also wants to practice some rights within the family.

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: Gender or Character

@Submission_To_Peace

Have you ever felt on any occasion that you were given benefit or disadvantage over anyone only on the basis of your gender ?

How did you feel about it ?

Depends on situation. Women generally have it easier because of their gender even though they do not openly admit it.

[Dushwari]

Re: Gender or Character

brother STP,
dear brother friend besides treading on thin ice, for such direct parable with .. ahem.
you have a good point to make. both genders and individual characters
can lose the respectable place, because of mistrusting behavior.
unless a redress is offered and genuinely so.

i will leave it at that.
best,
dushwari

@Submission_To_Peace

As I have seen here that people very openly and bluntly narrate what they think to be the truth, based on their experiences let me tell you what alot of boys in my college used to think....

For example.

In university some teacher who because of her very bad past experiences with men think "All men are ......ahem" might seem to always have a soft corner for female students who are in competition with male students, for whom.... Bhai ghussa kahin to nikalna hai....

or

A young male teacher might easily get distracted by a fresh beautiful colourful sight, which is prepared in alot of time with alot of efforts, with over addition of sweet fragrance and a soft voice when a student wants to review the marks given in exams (very shameful)

p.s. There is someone on the internet world ( this forum), if she were my teacher in a class where there is a cut throat competition between boys and girls, I swear I would have long ago ran away from the class like a coward student, because I know no boy in that class would have been able to get highest grades, because all men are.......

[pinks]

Re: Gender or Character

.

[Submission_To_Peace]

Re: Gender or Character

.

[FrozenFire]

Re: Gender or Character

ofcourse.. when i was in pakistan.. i used to go to bank and women were given the first priority to be served. Totally unfair!

[Dushwari]

Re: Gender or Character

brother STP,

thanks for saying this.

true that cases of own parents doing so is an issue, but the parents of the spouse. have that much more responsibility of welcoming and caring for the daughter in law.

birth of female child is deemed a burden partly becuase the parents have known only that to do nut hugely because the whole social structure of values originally enforced that mentality on the parents of the female child.

when someone's right as a human being to be autonomous is already revoked by unwelcome as a female, reminders of the same only are mere redundancy.

what we can do, is that this generation of males - as husbands and as fathers, as brothers and as sons, must be creative and strong in maintaining a solid character which can be trusted as respectful towards womankind.
best,

Dushwari

@Submission_To_Peace

Three injustices of which woman has been a victom since ages in "Ignorant societies" were / are;

1. She would be told by her OWN PARENTS that she has to live like a slave of her husband, no matter how much her husband violates her rights.

2. The sad smiles on the faces of some parents at the birth of a girl and relatively more excitement on the birth of a baby boy. Most of the times they repent as they realize later in life (in old age) that the daughter was more sincere, loyal, caring and loving with them than their son.

3. The frequent reminding of a parent to the daughter that she is a GIRL and her brother is a BOY when she also wants to practice some rights within the family.

[Krypton]

Re: Gender or Character

benefits for the sons:rotato:

[Dushwari]

Re: Gender or Character

lifeless,

:> in what sense?

[Submission_To_Peace]

Re: Gender or Character

@Dushwari

what we can do, is that this generation of males - as husbands and as fathers, as brothers and as sons, must be creative and strong in maintaining a solid character which can be trusted as respectful towards womankind.

Well said sister, but the problem is that in alot of cases women themselves are more responsible for ruining the life of another woman.

In the three points I mentioned related to injustice to women, I have seen in most cases where a mother or a mother in law is actively involved in celebrating birth of a boy over a daughter and convincing their daughters / DIL to behave in a particular slave like manner with their husbands.

Haven't you seen mothers quoting this hadith to their daughters;

" If Allah wanted to allow sajda for anyone else, he would have ordered a wife to do sajda to his husband"

^ It is the frequent quoting of this hadith that lead to the use of the word "Majazi Khuda" in explaining a husband's rights to a wife.

The base of the above thinking is that (in my knowledge) no where in the hadith is the word "Obedience" used for behaviour of husbands towards their wives, but it has been used for vice versa.

Having said that, alot of stress has been made upon a husband to take care of his wife's rights (which unfortunately alot of parents don't properly teach their sons).

Alot of people also forget that after giving birth to a child the degree of a wife is raised three times more than her husband, and that is why in a hadith Allah has ordered a child to pay three times more respect to his/her mother than to father in terms of obedience and serving.

Also Allah gives the example of mother to describe HIS love , and declared the Jannah to be under the feet of a mother

Before marriage, the first lesson to a son by his parents should be the following hadith

" The best among you is the one who is the best with his wife "