In Pakistan, is it common to do something for the one year anniversary of someone’s death?
I was curious as to whether other cultures have this as its quite common in my culture. The one year anniversary of someone’s death (referred to as “tlin” in Pashto or “sali” in Dari) is usually celebrated at home as a sort of final memorial service to the dead person where friends and family visit the deceased’s family for a small get together. Another thing that people do at this time is visit the deceased’s grave and “ask” the deceased person to release them from mourning so that they may move on with their lives (as well as go back to wearing colour as opposed to the funerary white they have been wearing for the past year).
In Sindhis, brasi (called Bharho - after 12 months) is celebrated normally with a Quran-khwani and fateha in barelvi sect. This was also common in Sindhi Hindus. Shia community of Sindh also follow the same under Irani influence. devbandi school of thought is rigid and they don't follow these anniversaries, though they do demand for holiday on death anniversary of Hazrat Umar (RA) and arrange rallies on first muharam in urban Sindh especially in karachi to create tussle with shia community.
My family (Hyderabadi from India) does fatiha on the yearly barsi (death anniversary). They also do a "duswaan" (10th day after death), "chehloom" (40th day)....
I personally do not suscribe to these practices, but when my mother passed away, I did not say anything when my mom's family wanted to hold these. After the first year though, my siblings and I did not continue the practice. It's been 5 years now, and on the anniversaries of my parent's deaths I give sadaqa and try to do a charitable act in their memory instead.
My family (Hyderabadi from India) does fatiha on the yearly barsi (death anniversary). They also do a "duswaan" (10th day after death), "chehloom" (40th day)....
**I personally do not suscribe to these practices, but when my mother passed away, I did not say anything when my mom's family wanted to hold these. **After the first year though, my siblings and I did not continue the practice. It's been 5 years now, and on the anniversaries of my parent's deaths I give sadaqa and try to do a charitable act in their memory instead.
Sufi dargahs are always centre of such activities. some people call it Urs and masses call it mela (gathering). Pretty sure that these are highly influence by sub-continents culture (which now is quoted as Hindu culture all way without realising that culture relates to land and its environment and not religion).
Besides these annual gatherings (mela/urs), sufi dargahs are subject to change of chadar everyday. There remains only one permanent chadar on qalandar’s mazar in Sehwan sharif which is changed annually on Urs occasion. All other chadars are removed early in morning and given to gaddi nasheen, who either give that as a gift to ministers, pirs, mirs visiting dargah or re-sale that to the shop keepers and the show goes on :cobra:
besides that in Qaladar’s case, they change a taaj made of fresh leaves and local flowers everyday. There is a tradition there according to which each days taaj is sent to small dargah around qalandar’s tomb which include his favorite mureeds like Bodlo Bahar. There was this local saint Chutto umrani who was contemporary of Qalandar Shahbaz and died after Qalndar, so he made a will that old taajs should from Qalndar’s mazar should not be sent to his mazar
My family (Hyderabadi from India) does fatiha on the yearly barsi (death anniversary). They also do a "duswaan" (10th day after death), "chehloom" (40th day)....
I personally do not suscribe to these practices, but when my mother passed away, I did not say anything when my mom's family wanted to hold these. After the first year though, my siblings and I did not continue the practice. It's been 5 years now, and on the anniversaries of my parent's deaths I give sadaqa and try to do a charitable act in their memory instead.
the concept of fateha is finally coincide with sadqa concept. Its not necessary that you feed madarsa molvi. feed poor and that was always there in sub-continent culture even before advent of Islam. There is this tradition of putting rice and grains (daal, etc) on deceased family members on occasions like barsi / eid to feed the birds in some parts of sub-continent including Sindh.
I don't think that doing something to remember your deceased relatives is bid'a if you don't add any pseudo-religious components to the occasion. What I referred to in my first post is primarily a social event, so to speak, for the family of the deceased and doesn't have a religious component. From what I've see, it's basically family and friends of the deceased gathering to remember the dead person.
^I wasn't referring to your comment. ;) I was referring to KKF's comment that all such practices are bid'a.
i dpn't wanna turn this thread into a religious argument. :)
i said "WE" [meaning my family] consider....! i didn't mean to derail the thread.
the difference of opinion is theological. we had a discussion about this on GS last year.
^From what I've seen, the go-to food for weddings and funerals seems to be pulao. I've noticed bolani seems to have become quite common at such events as well.
The Hyderabadi menu would be biryani (the typical kachay goshth ki biryani we're known for lol) and then mirchi ka salan or bhagaray baingan. Sometimes daalcha & naan rounds out the menu.
^From what I've seen, the go-to food for weddings and funerals seems to be pulao. I've noticed bolani seems to have become quite common at such events as well.
^ Kabuli Pulao?
The Hyderabadi menu would be biryani (the typical kachay goshth ki biryani we're known for lol) and then mirchi ka salan
or bhagaray baingan. Sometimes daalcha & naan rounds out the menu.
It's what Hyderabad is known for!!!!! Sometimes its called "dum biryani"....basically, the way we make biryani, the gosht/chicken is marinated in yogurt/papita/masala and then layered at the bottom of the deg, covered with parboiled rice and then tightly sealed and set on very low dum to continue cooking. It's not as "heavy" as the maseledar biryanis where the salan is cooked seperately and then layered with rice.
“deen say doori” is his tag line…
I was referring to KKF’s comment that all such practices are bid’a.