yea it can be fun like a blind date, but in arranged one you cant leave if it somehow turned to be a disaster.
u guys are soooo depressing:crying:
shak kills=luv ur nick mate,cool,goes well with da name.
well somtimes love-marriages can turn out to be more disasterous thn the arranged ones:D
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ShaRaRa: *
well somtimes love-marriages can turn out to be more disasterous thn the arranged ones:D
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I think most of the time....if u r ok with what ur parents say phir ALLAH khud hi barkat daal dete hein...trust me
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ShaRaRa: *
well somtimes love-marriages can turn out to be more disasterous thn the arranged ones:D
[/QUOTE]
I think most of the time....if u r ok with what ur parents say phir ALLAH khud hi barkat daal dete hein...trust me
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ShaRaRa: *
well somtimes love-marriages can turn out to be more disasterous thn the arranged ones:D
[/QUOTE]
I think most of the time....if u r ok with what ur parents say phir ALLAH khud hi barkat daal dete hein...trust me
Thanks punjabi kuri, your nick is not bad at all. and the lines,
love is risk so risk it!
arranged marriage is also a risk , so would you risk it?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Shak killS: *
Thanks punjabi kuri, your nick is not bad at all. and the lines,
love is risk so risk it!
arranged marriage is also a risk ,,,, so would you risk it?
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my nick "not bad" ok mate,ur a bit high...well.....i guess i'd risk an arranged marrige if my mom n dad absolutely adored the guy n really wanted me to marry him....well i wouldnt really mind....i could blame everything on them if da marrige didnt work out;)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Shak killS: *
Thanks punjabi kuri, your nick is not bad at all. and the lines,
love is risk so risk it!
arranged marriage is also a risk ,,,, so would you risk it?
[/QUOTE]
not just a risk its like a dead point. since unlike westren marriages in our societies divorce is not accepted. I have often seen people showing pride on arrange marriages and how well they work but is it something really to be proud of that you are living unhappily with someone. Maybe westren marriages are better, they live as long as they are happy and than find someone else to have fun with.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by punjabi kuri !!!: *
my nick "not bad" ok mate,ur a bit high...well.....i guess i'd risk an arranged marrige if my mom n dad absolutely adored the guy n really wanted me to marry him....well i wouldnt really mind....i could blame everything on them if da marrige didnt work out;)
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oh punjabi kuri, I meant to say that you nick is also really coool. about aranged marriage, most of us risk arranged marriages only and only because of parents.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Shak killS: *
oh punjabi kuri, I meant to say that you nick is also really coool. about aranged marriage, most of us risk arranged marriages only and only because of parents.
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true.....well i would only do it to make my parents happy n well if it doesnt work out later on then its their fault.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by punjabi kuri !!!: *
true.....well i would only do it to make my parents happy n well if it doesnt work out later on then its their fault.
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just blaming them wouldnt make your life happy will it? so thora soch bhi lena acha hota hey ;)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Shak killS: *
just blaming them wouldnt make your life happy will it? so thora soch bhi lena acha hota hey ;)
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at the moment i dont really care,im the sorta person who picks up things in life as they go along,i mean take life as it is coming to u.
my question may be off topic but still.......this question is for girls: i am a guy and i know most boys don't care whether they like their wife or not. they still have sex with them because they see sex and love as two different things. girls on the other hand see sex and love as one thing. if some girl is married to a guy who she doesn't like or know, will she be happy to have sex with him? or back in her mind somewhere she'll be sorry for not marrying the guy she loved? would she refuse to have sex with her husband because she doesn't like him and she isn't attracted to him or will she just do it as a duty of a wife whether she likes it or not. and i do know girls are not that innocent, they do enjoy it but don't just tell. you can answer it here too but please try to email me only because i don't come online a lot and it would be easier for me to just read my email. thanks
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by punjabi kuri !!!: *
at the moment i dont really care,im the sorta person who picks up things in life as they go along,i mean take life as it is coming to u.
[/QUOTE]
thats the best thing to do, one shouldnt make life long plans. so you are doing great.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by pakbeast: *
my question may be off topic but still.......this question is for girls: i am a guy and i know most boys don't care whether they like their wife or not. they still have sex with them because they see sex and love as two different things. girls on the other hand see sex and love as one thing. if some girl is married to a guy who she doesn't like or know, will she be happy to have sex with him? or back in her mind somewhere she'll be sorry for not marrying the guy she loved? would she refuse to have sex with her husband because she doesn't like him and she isn't attracted to him or will she just do it as a duty of a wife whether she likes it or not. and i do know girls are not that innocent, they do enjoy it but don't just tell. you can answer it here too but please try to email me only because i don't come online a lot and it would be easier for me to just read my email. thanks
[/QUOTE]
well may be you r right about some guys not all of them, for girls its same and I know some who just dont have or avoid to have sex with husbands because they dont love them. it only happens when they just stopped trying to put efforts to make marriage successful and if they dont get a positive response they tend to be away and will be fully careless about their husbands.
same can be true for an emotional husband too.
yes, there are some exception about guys that they don't have sex if they don't like the girl, or if they were forced to marry that girl whereas they love some other girl. one thing i hate about girls is (and i am sorry girls) that when the time for marriage comes, they refuse to marry the guy they love, why? only because they want to make their parents happy. but what about that person whose life you have destroyed? did you ask your parents before you fell in love? if you didn't ask for your parents permission to love someone, then i think they should have some courage to atleast let them know that i love this person, please talk to him and his family and i really want to marry him. BUT NO! when their parents engage them or marry them with someone else who they don't even know, they just keep quiet like a doll and never speak a word. and this causes to destroy that guy's life who they loved.
[QUOTE]
yes, there are some exception about guys that they don't have sex if they don't like the girl, or if they were forced to marry that girl whereas they love some other girl. one thing i hate about girls is (and i am sorry girls) that when the time for marriage comes, they refuse to marry the guy they love, why? only because they want to make their parents happy. but what about that person whose life you have destroyed? did you ask your parents before you fell in love? if you didn't ask for your parents permission to love someone, then i think they should have some courage to atleast let them know that i love this person, please talk to him and his family and i really want to marry him. BUT NO! when their parents engage them or marry them with someone else who they don't even know, they just keep quiet like a doll and never speak a word. and this causes to destroy that guy's life who they loved.
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ok woah now. ask permission to fall in love? it doesn't work that way. you fall in love with whoever you fall in love with-you can't control that. I would never marry someone my parents didn't want me to. And who says just b/c u love someone they love u back? And who says you fall in love with people you are allowed to marry? It would depend on the situation whether or not you say somthing to your parents. ie-if i fall in love with a non-muslim, ofcourse i say nothing to my parents. I would never blindly marry someone my parents wanted.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by 714: *
ok woah now. ask permission to fall in love? it doesn't work that way. you fall in love with whoever you fall in love with-you can't control that. I would never marry someone my parents didn't want me to. And who says just b/c u love someone they love u back? And who says you fall in love with people you are allowed to marry? It would depend on the situation whether or not you say somthing to your parents. ie-if i fall in love with a non-muslim, ofcourse i say nothing to my parents. I would never blindly marry someone my parents wanted.
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Good points. Also, sometimes a person who thinks that they are in "love" will only later find out after marriage that they were infatuated instead of in love, and find out that they really don't love this person.
I agree, I would never marry someone without my parents blessings, because then I'd have this lifelong guilt inside me which I can't imagine.
Also, I don't think I could ever let myself fall in love with someone that I wouldn't be allowed to marry. I think people have a certain amount of control in who they tend to fall in love with. It all depends on the individuals personal guidelines.
Ajnabi Larki,
If u think u have really tried and it is not working then my suggestion would be to seperate. I know it's tough believe me I'm on the verge of finalizing my divorce. When u know that it's not working it's very difficult and it is very stressful, it's not worth the stress. People always have their own idea of what is going on behind closed doors but it's your life and it has to be your decision ultimately if you wish to go on with this stressful situation or find some peace. Good luck