If you found out something one of your close friends had done, and it was really bad, would you still want to be friends with them?
Maybe not an illegal thing, but something you find morally reprehensible/unforgivable, even though it was done to someone else and not you?
Would you be able to just stay out of the whole thing otherwise?
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
Depends on what he/she did, but I know for sure our friendship would change..........just don't know to what extent
You can stay out of it, but it will effect you because your perception of your friend will change.......automatically changing your relationship
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
naa.......friend is friend.......
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
Why her “past” matters to you? After all its her past. Each to their own :halo:.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
^That's fair enough. I'm not saying I would personally stop talking to them etc. Sometimes you can get dragged into other people's fights, and sometimes it can be that you find something out about a friend and it really changes your opinion of them.
What if they committed a crime then? They may have repented but would it make you trust that they've changed/turned over a new leaf and won't do it again?
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
Naah, I wouldn't. Its between them and the almighty above. People learn, and they only do after they make certain mistakes that theoretically or practically make them a better person in the end. Who are we to judge on their shortcomings?
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
^That's fair enough. I'm not saying I would personally stop talking to them etc. Sometimes you can get dragged into other people's fights, and sometimes it can be that you find something out about a friend and it really changes your opinion of them.
What if they committed a crime then? They may have repented but would it make you trust that they've changed/turned over a new leaf and won't do it again?
Its her problem if she has committed some crime or not. Nobody is perfect in this world. Her past revealed to you all of a sudden thats why you are shocked. Are yoy finding an excuse to unfriend her :p ?
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
Lol! This is a hypothetical situation, not necessarily one I am in myself. I've often seen people get caught up with their friend's fights, or stop talking to friends because of things they've found out, and equally I've seen loyal friends who refuse to change their opinions about their friends.
If only everything was as simple as clicking a button to 'unfriend' someone, eh?
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
It it was really the mistake of past, I will not have problem with it but if its ‘on-going’, then
jub koi apna dost nahi hai tu wo aap ka dost kaisey ho ga?
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
I would never judge my friend for a mistake they may have made in the past. If they've moved on, I should too.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
Hypothetical situation.
Dimaag naa huwaa, fruit chaat hougaya.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
I would never judge my friend for a mistake they may have made in the past. If they've moved on, I should too.
Yes, but what if it was something which you really disgreed with? Say for example, you were friends with someone and you found out he used to beat his wife? Or if a friend of yours broke up someone's marriage?
I guess I'm asking how far does this non-judgement/loyalty to friends go?
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
If she's never hurt me....then I wouldn't continue the friendship. Everyone has done idiotic things in their past...where they've hurt others both accidentally and intentionally. Focus more on the present.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
I just found out my muslim friend who gave up drinking...went out got drunk and cheated on her bf with a married man 8 years older than her.
I dont know what to think!
However I am still friends with her
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
I just found out my muslim friend who gave up drinking...went out got drunk and cheated on her bf with a married man 8 years older than her.
I dont know what to think!
However I am still friends with her
I know what she did is wrong; not justifying it.......but she was drunk and wasn't fully aware of her actions. It can be argued that it would be a much bigger deal had she been fully conscious. She gave up drinking....so that reflects an awareness and desire to improve on her part. . Her predicament doesn't have anything to do with you. If she brings it up with you herself...and asks for advice, then advise her. But if she's never done anything to hurt you and your friendships....then I personally wouldn't end things with her. But to each his own.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
She told me, I told her what I thought i.e she should really think about her relationship with her bf and not drink as it leads to such situations.
She had a little cry and I wiped her tears and we had icecream.
But I still am a bit like WTH! I am a bit sad she started drinking again.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
Yes, but what if it was something which you really disgreed with? Say for example, you were friends with someone and you found out he used to beat his wife? Or if a friend of yours broke up someone's marriage? I guess I'm asking how far does this non-judgement/loyalty to friends go?
Well, if my friend was beating his wife, I'd be kinda scared to be around him for sure. If my friend broke someone's marriage, I'd like to know both sides of the story. I guess to answer your question, I'd like to believe that we all do weird things in our lives at some point, but we learn and grow from those mistakes. When I make a friend, I make that friend in current time based on what qualities they have as I understand. So let's say I have a good friend I really get along with, and this is a true story, but she made a serious boo boo when I didn't know her...but she regretted it and has overcome it, I will not let my friendship be affected. However, if it is a habit that is carried into the present time, I will be affected by it.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
Someone please help rectify the issue there is with post 13.
Frenemies ftw. 
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
well if it was in past and they have stopped doing it then i will have no problems with my friend/s.
Re: Friends with past mistakes?
I just found out my muslim friend who gave up drinking...went out got drunk and cheated on her bf with a married man 8 years older than her.
I dont know what to think!
However I am still friends with her
you're so cute