Friend Proposal

[aahmed]

Well! i disagree with khawateen bcoz no doubt that ur friend has got a good degree from good institution, but u must also think that in Islam, women can only work in the case if her husband had died or if there is only a woman to feed the family, but no man. :)

Captain FT, I'm sorry to sound harsh, but you're just plain wrong. Where in your made up Islam does it say women can only work if the husband is dead or if there is only 'a woman to feed the family'. First of all, there's nothing like that in the Quran, I recommend you read the Quran, it's a very good book, great stories and all.

Secondly, have you even heard of Hazrat Khadija? She was a prominent business woman who married the prophet.

So for the love of pete, stop making rubbish up about Islam, it's ignorant and asinine people like you who give Islam a bad name and make it look/sound barbaric. Next time please know what you're talking about before flapping your gums.

Edit: I'm sorry, but I'm fuming mad at this captain FT person, what gives you the RIGHT to preach on about something and so nonchalantly make something up and attribute it to God? If you EVER read the Quran, which I have no doubt you have never read at least in a language that you understand, you will see that making up things and attributing them to God results in hell, are you seriously willing to risk HELL by making up such STUPID statements? I am so angry that people like you exist, but I guess the devil needs a way to present his point of view too, eh?

[Sara516]

Re: Friend Proposal

^ accha thanda paani piyo bhai

[zobia]

Re: Friend Proposal

DaffyDuck, if u r not engaged or married yet....ask ur friend to fwd the rishta to u/ur family.

[aminas]

Re: Friend Proposal

^ Not a bad idea

[DaffyDuck]

@zobia

DaffyDuck, if u r not engaged or married yet…ask ur friend to fwd the rishta to u/ur family.

Haha. I am already engaged But even otherwise, i too would have to think twice if they had the condition of no work after marriage.

[zobia]

@aminas

^ Not a bad idea

@DaffyDuck

Haha. I am already engaged But even otherwise, i too would have to think twice if they had the condition of no work after marriage.

yaar, why u gals think that working in an office, only means working?

[Ira]

What should she do? any advises?

I dont see the dilemma here. If they want to restrict something so important to her, then why even think about it? Just say no.

[Natasha_3]

Re: Friend Proposal

The real question is does she want to work ?? i mean if she dosnt want to continue fher job after her marriage than its no big deal.

[gulab_jamun]

Didn't read all the replies but my god, all these women are so naive as to think they're going to want to 'put their education into use' forever. Same woman after having kids will be dying to quit her job and wanting to stay home.

So rejecting a decent proposal for something she'll for sure change her mind about later is stupidity.

I don't think it's stupidity....what if something happens to the husband...and he dies? Become paralyzed due to some accident? Gets divorced? THen what? she'll be left dependent and jobless?

Keep in mind that after a hiatus, it's diffictult to jump back in the work field. People want to know what you did as experience in the years you didn't work. A gaping whole in your work life never looks good....This has happened many women who I personally know...frankly I think it's stupidity to not think about this aspect of life and live in a "i'll be happily married to a rich guy and live happily ever after" fantasy.

Plus, I know MANY MANY MANY women WANT to work when all their kids start school and they have too much time in thier hands....

[RealityCheck]

Didn't read all the replies but my god, all these women are so naive as to think they're going to want to 'put their education into use' forever. Same woman after having kids will be dying to quit her job and wanting to stay home.

So rejecting a decent proposal for something she'll for sure change her mind about later is stupidity.

You go girl

or man

....rite on the money

BTW, isn't Straight up and Reality Check interchangeable ?

[snowy_winter]

@gulab_jamun

I don't think it's stupidity....what if something happens to the husband...and he dies? Become paralyzed due to some accident? Gets divorced? THen what? she'll be left dependent and jobless?

Keep in mind that after a hiatus, it's diffictult to jump back in the work field. People want to know what you did as experience in the years you didn't work. A gaping whole in your work life never looks good....This has happened many women who I personally know...frankly I think it's stupidity to not think about this aspect of life and live in a "i'll be happily married to a rich guy and live happily ever after" fantasy.

Plus, I know MANY MANY MANY women WANT to work when all their kids start school and they have too much time in thier hands....

I think the guy's family does have some reason to worry about a girl doing a job esp in a male dominated industry in Pakistan.

Most offices and industries in Pakistan are male dominated and some people do not like the idea of their wives working as this consitutes unnecessary mingling with guys plus no matter how much we try to paint this as modernism, the office environment is quite weird for the females, ranging from the *kind *boss to the peons. Unless ofcourse, the girl is a doc or a teacher which can sometimes be acceptable as opposed to working in a software house lets say with male female ratio of 20:1. But this is one point of view.

On the other hand, some people consider this way too orthodox and wouldn't mind their wives working with a lot of guys and frequently going out to dinners on *office parties *with guys. Its a matter of choice, some guys accept this, some don't. Apparently this guy and his family don't consider the job more important than domestic bliss, so thats their choice. If this is unacceptable to the girl then she should refuse and I am pretty sure that there are lots of guys out there who would be perfectly willing to accept a full-time working wife.

[RealityCheck]

Captain FT, I'm sorry to sound harsh, but you're just plain wrong. Where in your made up Islam does it say women can only work if the husband is dead or if there is only 'a woman to feed the family'. First of all, there's nothing like that in the Quran, I recommend you read the Quran, it's a very good book, great stories and all.

Secondly, have you even heard of Hazrat Khadija? She was a prominent business woman who married the prophet.

So for the love of pete, stop making rubbish up about Islam, it's ignorant and asinine people like you who give Islam a bad name and make it look/sound barbaric. Next time please know what you're talking about before flapping your gums.

Edit: I'm sorry, but I'm fuming mad at this captain FT person, what gives you the RIGHT to preach on about something and so nonchalantly make something up and attribute it to God? If you EVER read the Quran, which I have no doubt you have never read at least in a language that you understand, you will see that making up things and attributing them to God results in hell, are you seriously willing to risk HELL by making up such STUPID statements? I am so angry that people like you exist, but I guess the devil needs a way to present his point of view too, eh?

I am impressed. "buhat dam hai tujh mein kaliaaaa"

I would like to pick a fight with you please .....

I was looking for someone like you on this forum for long.......

:D

but unfortunately I suspect I am gonna agree with you most of the time...

:D

oh..
Just found something in your post that needs correction.

Hazrat Khadija (R) was a prominent business woman.... very true but it was pre-Islam. Prophet Mohammad(PBUH) took charge of the business after the marriage.

[gulab_jamun]

@snowy_winter

I think the guy's family does have some reason to worry about a girl doing a job esp in a male dominated industry in Pakistan.

Most offices and industries in Pakistan are male dominated and some people do not like the idea of their wives working as this consitutes unnecessary mingling with guys plus no matter how much we try to paint this as modernism, the office environment is quite weird for the females, ranging from the *kind *boss to the peons. Unless ofcourse, the girl is a doc or a teacher which can sometimes be acceptable as opposed to working in a software house lets say with male female ratio of 20:1. But this is one point of view.

On the other hand, some people consider this way too orthodox and wouldn't mind their wives working with a lot of guys and frequently going out to dinners on *office parties *with guys. Its a matter of choice, some guys accept this, some don't. Apparently this guy and his family don't consider the job more important than domestic bliss, so thats their choice. If this is unacceptable to the girl then she should refuse and I am pretty sure that there are lots of guys out there who would be perfectly willing to accept a full-time working wife.

That is a very very good point!! I agee. I live in the US, so I'm speaking from that point of view!! In desi communities here, education for women has gotten to a new level, and growing up I felt that I had to be the BEST in school. It was super competitive, with daughters being compared with other daughters...So my point of view is from the ideology I and many of my desi friends were raised with.

But Having been to Pakistan several times...you're right on the money there! I've also met some conservative families of that sort too here in the US, so I can understand that point of view too. I was simply trying to expalin why someone would want to work, and how some people feel that it is important and not "stupid".