My cousin sara got engaged to the son of her dad’s friend a year ago. She met him at one of our family functions, so it was 100% mutual choice. Recently, she started having great trouble with him, saying that he is controlling, annoying, etc. and wanted to break the mangni. Her dad was distraught about this, because it would ruin his long friendship with amir’s dad. Her dad said, ok give it two months, if you still feel the same way, we will inform them in a kind manner rather than prolong something which is not working. A few weeks later, sara emailed her dad and said that she is moving out of the house to a new apartment and that she has decided the engagement is over. She said she did not tell amir yet because he has medical school exams but she would tell him in december. Her mother was absolutely devastated that her daughter has moved out. She cries all the time, and spends all her free time in dua and namaz.
The father is more rational; he is emailing her and trying to keep the dialogue open. Sara did eventually agree to visit amir’s family’s home for an aqeeqah. Over there, she broke down and said the reason it’s not working is because the mangni has been too long and she wanted an earlier wedding and no one listened to her. Amir’s parents were perplexed, they said “well we made the date because you chose it, and if it was a problem, why did you agree to it at the mangni??”. But they are so nice, amir’s mom asked sara to forgive her for any mistake on their part and said whatever she wanted, they would do. She said they could even get married in two months (although practically it would make no difference since they would have to live apart until amir’s graduation). Anyway, then Sara suddenly said it’s too little, too late and that she wanted them to go for counseling. This really irritated her dad;, but amir said he would do anything to keep them together. Amir went to Sara’s mom and said aunty mein poori koshish karunga k yeh rishta qaym rahe and sara’s mom got emotional and said she is not willing to accept any other damaad except him.
In this time (september), i found out something terrible…that Sara is having an affair with a white guy she met from work. Kasam se, my heart was racing so fast and i started breaking a sweat when i found out…i have even met this guy so many times…the crazy thing is this has been going on since MARCH!! I did not say anything at all. I thought maybe this is just a short fling, and she will wise up, and then they will just get married and it will just be like a one time slip up. i did not want to be a tattle tale and ruin their relationship forever. Anyway it is December now and Amir’s family is visiting. Sara is so rude to Amir; for example, he told her “hey you can just take our rental car” since her dad had taken her car, and she just barked at him, “I Know what to do! don’t control me, okay? ugh” And he just said, “Oh it was just an idea; I really didn’t mean it that way.”
I feel so bad…he has no idea that Sara is not even living at home, and obviously he doesn’t know that she is with another guy. His mother is still so caring and says “bache stress mein aa jate hain, koi baat nai” and brought so many things for all of us. His family is spending thousands of dollars on airfare and rental cars just to see us. They were our best friends even before this mangni. My uncle is just saying, “keep calm, we can’t give up” and acting completely normal. he says confrontation will make her more distant, we just want the marriage to proceed. And that, the fact that she is still coming to the family visits shows that she still has an interest in the relationship.
I am soo soo conflicted. I feel like we are cheating an innocent guy. Amir is so sincere, working so hard to save this relationship and sending cards to her all the time…without knowing she doesn’t read the cards bc she doesn’t even live at home. And he is not having any relationships bc he is waiting for marriage…while Sara is sleeping with that white guy probably every night. I hate her so much, we have stopped talking. Today we went out for dinner, and i was happy because she was joking around with his mom and i got a hope that maybe she broke up with that white guy. But in the middle of the meal, she got a text and the white guy’s picture popped up. And Amir was sitting right in front of her; i was disgusted with her after that.
Tomorrow they have a counseling session and then we are all going to juma namaaz. I feel so so bad for Amir. Seriously I am heavy with guilt being a part of this. I want to confront Sara and just yell at her but then uncle will get mad at me for messing up his strategy. I know in Islam we are supposed to cover the sins of our brother…but is it right to cheat amir? I think it’s not fair at all…yet i can’t deal with my uncle getting humiliated that his daughter is with a white guy either…i can’t see Amir in the morning smiling shyly at sara while she texts that guy 
do u think i should confront her, or tell amir? or maybe indirectly make my status something about vaguely related to dishonesty? just watch?..that’s my q
. Mehndi walay din larki ki abu nai larkay ko gaaliyan dehke ghar se bahaar nikaldiya. Nikkah waale din, papers sign hogay, dua parliya, laikin bride & groom ke parents aik doosray ko mubarak baat tak nahin di…galaay tak nahin milay! Laikin kya zabardast reception tha! (sarcasm)