So in a relationship if the wife cheats am pretty sure husband or his family won’t forgive her but if the husband cheats and their couple has been a perfect one before this incident should wife forgive him???
Re: Forgiving your spouse
I was talking to this older white lady and these people rely on logic and she was saying that since women are physically weaker they fight with manipulation.
I had witnessed a lot of women doing hanky panky there in my days. This Pakistani teenager had written an article about how much stuff she had done before she turned 20 and that article was banned in Pakistan.
Some of my friends were very wealthy and kind of players and they had many affairs with married women so cheating there is not limited to only men.
For every man cheating there is also a woman cheating and it really is impossible to hide an affair. So there were many people men and women who chose to ignore it and many don’t. No two relationships are alike and whatever a person chooses is the right decision for them.
Women have other ways to take revenge rather than only leaving.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
yeah i agree…
Re: Forgiving your spouse
Not sure how some women forgive that. The intimate side of marriage is completely based on this. He can sleep with his mistress and on the same day with his wife too. Some human beings are just wired differently and don’t see anything wrong with it.
The man i might have loved that was unfaithful is essentially dead to me after committing the act. I would see him in a completely different way if he did have an affair. He might as well just destroy everything we share because there isn’t a difference. Emotionally it would be a huge blow. Cheating or losing to temptation is irresponsible and the person obviously didn’t respect his wife to begin with to do something like that.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
true i don’t think even if a woman forgives him things would be same again…there would be lack of trust…
Re: Forgiving your spouse
some women can forgive but only if the husband is really ashamed of what he had done and truly asking for forgiveness. There are men who just don’t accept that cheating is wrong and in those cases i wonder if any wife can forgive that kind of a husband.
There is also a slight difference between losing to temptation vs having an affair/relationship with someone else. in a certain class its no taboo for husbands to make out with complete stranger girls when going to discos, spas etc.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
Yes human beings make mistakes, but since the nature of this subject is so sensitive; sometimes mistakes can’t be forgiven. Some people have the emotional intelligence and maturity to forgive their partner for cheating on them - but only if it was a one off thing/a mistake like you say. However, if your partner had a continuous affair with someone behind your back and fell in love with them too - then it is a different ball game.
That means continuously lying to you, faking things, hiding things from you, emotionally blackmailing you etc.
Why would you want to keep a partner that not only cheated on you with someone, but fell in love with them too? Self dignity should kick in now. If the person only counts his actions as a mistake and admits to wrongdoings, then I think one chance is fair enough. You can give one chance, second time it doesn’t count as a mistake anymore - it becomes deliberate.
I know someone in the UK whose husband cheated on her with her own bestfriend from school. Married her. This is despite the fact that my friend is beautiful af. And she has two gorgeous sons with him. So ladies, giving someone sons or being extremely beautiful and seductive won’t stop someone from cheating on you. If it is in their nature to have a wandering eye, they will. Now it is up to you, whether you accept this person’s nature or not.
There’s also cases where a person has a partner, but continues to have sex with other people because they have commitment issues, they have issues with monogamy, or are polyamorous. They can’t be satisfied with one person only, they get bored, regardless of whether they love the person or not.
So you see, cheating is a complex topic and depends on situation to situation. There is no hard and fast rule about what to do if someone cheats on you. It is a spur of the moment decision sometimes.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
Agreed with this .
Forgiving can give them a chance to hurt you all over again. Sometimes , it depends on circumstances , how deeply involved they got with the other person . and who initiated it. Weekness can take over once , but not all the time. When one has commited the same act or even close to it more than once , then simply they are fully in intent to what they are doing and hence I wouldnt be able to move on and forgive or forget .
Re: Forgiving your spouse
so true no matter what cheating is cheating…and if it happens second time there is no way one should forgive him/her…in fact they dont deserve forgiving first time but as u said depends on case to case…
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The only reason I can see someone forgiving cheating is maybe they are financially dependent…or maybe due to kids…dunno…
Re: Forgiving your spouse
Absolutely. As weird as this may sound, if someone cheats on you, you have to investigate your partner like a criminal incident. This can’t always be done, if the partner is being reluctant, being aggressive, and being arrogant about their actions; but still one should try. If the person that has cheated is forthcoming about the circumstances and want to be honest about it, they need to be given at least one chance. Agree with you, especially where you said about the circumstances, the depth of the affair, whether there is any emotional attachment involved or not, and especially ‘WHO’ initiated it.
Also, yes, when someone cheats on you - the trust factor diminishes, or in some cases absolutely gets eradicated. How can you trust someone with your intimate details, secrets, your naked soul rantings, your weaknesses, your physical self; when you know they’ve cheated on you and they might do it again. Once trust is gone, bitterness kicks in too from time to time, and sometimes if things go sour between a couple; your whole being is at stake because of how much the other person knows about you and what they can do with that information. Beware of not your enemy in plain sight, but the enemy that pretends to be your friend kind of thing. They can act against you at anytime, and because of no trust, or lack of it, you are left to deal with paranoia.
One thing is for sure, when someone cheats on you, they do not remain the same person anymore. Neither do you. You get hurt, you change, you feel pain, and sometimes regardless of how much you try to give the person a chance to have the same position in your sex life, and normal life as they had before, it isn’t always possible. Some women cannot fathom the image of their husband being in bed with someone else, and every time they will try to be normal with their partner, they’ll remember everything that hurts them and brings them pain again. Some people on the other hand can push past the pain and hurt, to reinstate their happy married life, provided that the partner solemnly swears on not cheating again and sticks to their promise.
It depends on person to person. Sometimes people overlook things in order to have a married life, for the sake of their kids, themselves etc, sometimes if circumstances permit, they separate and live their own lives; because they don’t want to deal with complexities, challenges and headaches in the long run. Sometimes people can also remain in such a relationship where their partners cheat, because they’re very emotionally weak and can’t speak up for themselves. They do not have the courage to get out of their comfort zone and demand explanations etc, regardless of how much they’re hurting inside. They do not possess the emotional and physical strength to leave such a person too. In this case outside/family intervention is required.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
i’m all for forgiving your husband, stylobaba.
forgive him with a belan, forgive him with a stick,
forgive him with a chaanta, but dont forgive him quick.
the man is a moron, because he thinks with his …
where is my rhyming thesaurus?
Re: Forgiving your spouse
hahahha good one and what if he doesn’t even ask for forgiveness after few attempts and wants to live a new life …which is’nt possible
Re: Forgiving your spouse
I don’t think forgiving should happen easily. therwise the guy will take that as a sign that the wife has low standards. The trust is gone and the guy really needs to prove his loyalty and win trust again from the beginning. I read somewhere that relationships are like building a multistorey building. One person cn’t be doing all the work and building or u hav a situation where one person is on the 50th level and the other is on the 2nd. Then how do the couple see eye to eye.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
yes thats exactly whats going on…
Re: Forgiving your spouse
At maximum one chance can be given but then the person should win trust and loyalty again even if that means going through tough tests.
Wish you or person this is asked fr all the best
Re: Forgiving your spouse
your first statement is incorrect.
there are instances where wives have been unfaithful and husbands have forgiven…for various reasons.
and to answer your question…should the wife forgive?
I don’t know that this can be answered without knowing the full situation and without a deep understanding of history, cause, ramifications of the betrayal and the personalities of the individuals involved.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
ummm yeah, I donno 'bout that.
typically investigating something/someone like a criminal will leave little room for forgiveness in the end.
Re: Forgiving your spouse
Here is the complication, though, many men in religious societies don’t have to pass the fidelity standards of the west, they are legally and religiously allowed, 4 wives. He can just say he is hunting for #2Just](http://gupshup.org/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2Just) to be clear I subscribe to monogamy
Would they really have the same feeling of guilt as we do here?
Re: Forgiving your spouse
They cane the behinds of criminals there, would be deserving of that.