Sometimes I hear stories from elders ‘back home’ of some random person who didn’t want to marry years and years ago and was basically forced but now he/she is happy and settled with kids.. So does the end justify the means?
Or if a guy or girl is on self-destruct in some way or another (eg. addiction to drink or drugs) would the parents ever be justified in making them get married in the hope that it will calm them down?
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
Forced marriage can never be justified! Period!!
I dont think that the person who turns out to be happy really is that happy and I believe he or she could have been more happy with the person he or she would have chosen under normal circumstances!!
Forcing anyone into a marriage is just not respecting their needs, wishes and hopes!!!
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
Sometimes I hear stories from elders 'back home' of some random person who didn't want to marry years and years ago and was basically forced but now he/she is happy and settled with kids.. So does the end justify the means?
Or if a guy or girl is on self-destruct in some way or another (eg. addiction to drink or drugs) would the parents ever be justified in making them get married in the hope that it will calm them down?
Nope! Forced marriage isn't ever justified.
I hate the whole 'oh the kid is going bad lets get him/her married'. How does that work? How is marriage going to fix all problems. That would probably make things worse.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
no.
more than anything, it makes a mockery of the beautiful institution of marriage.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
They "brainwash" themselves for lack of a better word. Defense/coping mechanism.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
Even here in the UK you sometimes hear about girls who say 'I don't want to get married' but their older sister was pushed/forced and that sister has actually turned round and told the younger one 'just do it, it will turn out fine later on like it did for me' or 'do it for our parents' etc.. It's really bizarre imo..
I would have assumed an older sister who's been thru the same thing would be more supportive..
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
there shouldn't be forced marriage..........if the parents don't like/ can't handle their kids' choices........just kick them out....no need to create a drama.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
a BIG FAT NO!!! :D never in any situation...no emotional blackmail by parents, siblings, extende family members, friends or even the authorities...like in Pakistan/India the Panchayat [jirga] fools pass the judgment.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
In some cases I think parents should force their children to get married. One of my friends’ eldest sister did not marry (there was no liking somewhere else, its just that she wanted to focus on her career). Now that she is a successfully specialist doctor and in her 40s, her parents are really worried about her future since all the siblings are married and settled. Parents’ concerns about such children are justified since they do care about their children’s future.
Other forced marriages like cousin marriages; not accepting the choice of children and forcing them to marry parents’ choice; marrying at the time when the guy/ girl is not ready for marriage; marrying because the guy/ girl was going bad; etc are not justified at all. There are chances that the guy/ girl will be happy after marriage. But most likely, he/ she won’t be as he/ she won’t accept the marriage whole heartedly and he/ she will only compromise.
Who should kick out whom? If we consider your comment being a sarcastic one, then definitely kids should kick the parents out for not accepting their choice. Hai na? 
If you are not being sarcastic, are parents justified kicking children out? 
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
there shouldn't be forced marriage..........if the parents don't like/ can't handle their kids' choices........just kick them out....no need to create a drama.
Lovely..
and is kicking your kids out simply because they want to choose their own husband/wife not drama as well?
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
no no and no..your nikah is only valid if you agree to the marriage yourself.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
It can not be justified. Many religious school of thoughts even say that unless you are accepting it by heart, aap ka nikkah ho hee nahi sakta....
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
I don't think the use of force can ever be justified. Maybe in the cases where its required persistence, convincing and some form of pressure might be ok in order to persuade a person that its the right choice. But at the end of the day unless the person makes their own decision that they're ok with it, force is not conducive to a persons future happiness.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
In some cases I think parents should force their children to get married. One of my friends' eldest sister did not marry (there was no liking somewhere else, its just that she wanted to focus on her career). Now that she is a successfully specialist doctor and in her 40s, her parents are really worried about her future since all the siblings are married and settled. Parents' concerns about such children are justified since they do care about their children's future.
That's not the same thing as forced marriage. Forced is when a person doesn't want to get married to a particular person but they are pressurized to get married. What you are talking about is having ones kids best interest in mind and talking to them about thinking about marriage and its importance. If they still want to focus on their careers that's their choice.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
Like what if some kid wants to marry a druggie or slut or someone totally not compatible.......should parents intervene or just gladly accept it and everybody lives happily ever after???
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
^ It is actually possible to help someone or intervene without forcing them to get married to someone else lol, have you not heard of counselling?
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
^ It is actually possible to help someone or intervene without forcing them to get married to someone else lol, have you not heard of counselling?
did i say make them marry someone else???
whose counselling are you talking about?
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
That's not the same thing as forced marriage. Forced is when a person doesn't want to get married to a particular person but they are pressurized to get married. What you are talking about is having ones kids best interest in mind and talking to them about thinking about marriage and its importance. If they still want to focus on their careers that's their choice.
I guess it is also a kind of forced marriage but since its not common, we don't usually consider it a forced marriage.
A forced marriage takes place when the bride, groom or both do not want to get married but are forced to by others, usually their families. There can be any reason for not willing to marry. But the reason I mentioned is very very rare. We usually hear that guys/ girls don't want to marry because they want to marry their own choice.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
In that case it still should not take place. Parent can not and should not force their children to get married.
Nomi, as far as what you asked. In that case it's parents, family members and friends responsibility to talk to the person and help them make the right decision. BUT at the end of the day its still their own choice.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
BUT at the end of the day its still their own choice.
ok......but are they somehow liable to accept that person that their kid marries? and live happily ever after??