Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
ok......but are they somehow liable to accept that person that their kid marries? and live happily ever after??
That's their own choice if they want to cut ties with their child and grandchildren.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
That's their own choice if they want to cut ties with their child and grandchildren.
i know they have two choices........accept or reject...
what i want to ask is........are they 'liable' to accept it?? as in religiously,socially,ethically etc..
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
“Parent are not allowed to exercise their right to guardianship to the detriment of the interests of the children or for the purpose of taking away their legitimate Islamic right and freedom to choose their own marriage partners or run their own lives as long as they do not harm the interests of the parents.
Parents in Islam, therefore, have no right to interfere in children’s choice of marriage partners unless they are certain that the children are exercising their choice to harm themselves. That would be the case if someone were to choose for marriage a person who is utterly incompatible and therefore unsuitable for marriage. In such cases, parents definitely have the right to refuse to consent to such marriages, and if the children still went ahead without their parent’s consent such marriages will be invalid.
If, however, the above is not the case, and the parents are simply refusing to give consent for material considerations, other than compatibility of religion or ability to support, then they are certainly unjustified in such behavior, for by doing so they are clearly overstepping their authority as guardians.
(Source: http://aa.trinimuslims.com/archive/index.php?t-317.html)
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
There are two types of forces marriages......
one in which guy/girl is interested somewhere else and parents are not accepting their choice and forced them to marry in family or parents choice... which is totally wrong.
Another in which girl/guy doesn't want to get married without any valid reason or they just think that marriage is most unnecessary thing in life etc. In these cases i think i am not against force marriage. Means parents should discuss this with their son/daughter, and persuade them to get married and importance of marriage.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
There are two types of forces marriages......
one in which guy/girl is interested somewhere else and parents are not accepting their choice and forced them to marry in family or parents choice... which is totally wrong.
Another in which girl/guy doesn't want to get married without any valid reason or they just think that marriage is most unnecessary thing in life etc. In these cases i think i am not against force marriage. Means parents should discuss this with their son/daughter, and persuade them to get married and importance of marriage.
Agree.
In the second case, again there are 2 situations:
1. That the girl thinks she isn't ready for marriage because of whatever reason...but a good rishta comes along, the girl says no...just because, but the parents try to convince her to look at the potential rishta seriously. This has happened in my family. The girl had no valid reason but that she just didn't feel like getting married. Parents were upset, convinced her, but her marriage ended up in a divorce because she started her married life with resistance. She saw everything with a negative point of view.
2. The girl doesn't like the guy because he's not up to her expectations. Parents like him so they try to convince her. Having daughters, I can say that if we have a potential rishta but my daughter isn't satisfied, I'd like to listen to her thought and have her make the final decision..perhaps there's something she is seeing that I as a parent am overlooking.
However, there are the perpetual whiners who think they are god's gift to humanity and that the perfect guy hasn't been created for them. They find faults in everything and react dramatically if someone finds a fault in them. Ummm, for these kind of people, I don't really know...it's their life I guess.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
Agree.
In the second case, again there are 2 situations: 1. That the girl thinks she isn't ready for marriage because of whatever reason...but a good rishta comes along, the girl says no...just because, but the parents try to convince her to look at the potential rishta seriously. This has happened in my family. The girl had no valid reason but that she just didn't feel like getting married. Parents were upset, convinced her, but her marriage ended up in a divorce because she started her married life with resistance. She saw everything with a negative point of view. 2. The girl doesn't like the guy because he's not up to her expectations. Parents like him so they try to convince her. Having daughters, I can say that if we have a potential rishta but my daughter isn't satisfied, I'd like to listen to her thought and have her make the final decision..perhaps there's something she is seeing that I as a parent am overlooking.
However, there are the perpetual whiners who think they are god's gift to humanity and that the perfect guy hasn't been created for them. They find faults in everything and react dramatically if someone finds a fault in them. Ummm, for these kind of people, I don't really know...it's their life I guess.
I know a girl who is my cousin actually.... She didn't want to get married.. she was just too stubborn... she also persuaded my another cousin and her own sister to not get married. She had really some bad excuses about marriage. But my another cousin got married because her parents forced her.. But after marriage she started saying "jis ney shadi nahin i us ney life main kuch na kiya" she is MAshaAllah happily married with 4 kids.
My other cousin got got married few years ago at the age of (around) 35. The one who was actually against marriage got married at the age of 40 and my phoppu did all the black mailing to her :p. But now she is too happily married. Her husband is really very loving and caring. So in my observation if there is good proposal parents should discuss it with daughters/sons. Their views will automatically change.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
But isn't convincing different to forcing someone?
I don't think there's anything wrong with parents convincing children but if despite their best efforts this person still does not agree then they should be able to say no, to get them married even when the parents know that their child is set against it feels wrong to me.
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
Yes, I agree, you should not force an adult. But at the same time, adults should be mature as well. 
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
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Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
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what?
Re: Forced marriage - is it ever justified??
It may work for some but that doesnt make forcing right, NEVER!