…how do you split expenses, if at all? Who pays for the rent/mortgage/bills/groceries?
Hubby’s parents will be moving in with us soon (they are coming from Pakistan), and we will be fully covering the mortgage and all home expenses. We may choose to finish the basement to create a private space for ourselves, but it’s on our tab. His parents don’t work, but they haven’t yet started receiving their pension yet either. 2 bro-in-laws live with us and their income gets spent on themselves.
I’ve known of couples that have moved into hubby’s parent’s house with a fully finished basement waiting for them and they don’t contribute to the mortgage or any home expenses. That leaves me wondering what they do with the disposable income if they work full time?
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
If they did not spend any dollar on you from the time you turned 18 and did not provide you with food and shelter, then you can justify asking them for their contribution towards the house.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
If they did not spend any dollar on you from the time you turned 18 and did not provide you with food and shelter, then you can justify asking them for their contribution towards the house.
?? I am not complaining about taking care of his family. It gives me pride to support them. I was only asking what the situation is in other people's homes.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
Wow ok my situation is total opposite. I live with my husband, MIL, FIL, and two unmarried younger SILs. My FIL pays the mortgage, and all the bills. My SIL pays some bills only if FIL runs out of money to pay everything that month. My FIL doesn't ask a dime from my husband and me. Our in-laws want us to save up money so we can buy our own home soon InshAllah. Actually this was the whole point of living with them after marriage (to save for a house). We do pitch in - in other ways such as buying the whole family take-out dinner (which we do often) and occasionally doing groceries. In all fairness though, my husband paid for his entire education on his own and his entire wedding so now is the time for him to save money since he pretty much had to start from scratch after paying for our wedding.
They are your husbands parents. They have rights over their son.Be patient..
Same works if your parents had to move in btw.
:)
Enjoy their blessings while they are still around.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
They are your husbands parents. They have rights over their son.Be patient..
Same works if your parents had to move in btw.
:)
Enjoy their blessings while they are still around.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
The BIL's should want to contribute if they make their own money. That makes no sense. You should have a small amount set for them so they're at least helping.
I am single and live with my parents but I help in the expenses every month. They don't ask me but why would you put a burden on someone else to pay for your shelter and utilities entirely? Doesn't matter who it is...if its my kids or my parents I live with.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband’s family…
My nani lived with us for several years at one time. She had no income/pension etc. My parents paid for EVERYTHING (at that time my mother had a full-time job too).
My dada moved in with one of my phuppu’s after my dadi died. He doesn’t work anymore (he’s in his late 80’s) but does have $$ coming in from rental properties. As far as I know…he has offered to contribute $ for household expenses but my phupha/phupphu refuse to take any money from him. So instead, he ends up giving very generous cash “gifts” to them and their kids during their bdays/Eid etc (but this is 100% his choice).
If my in-laws and/or my parents ever move in with us… I can’t imagine expecting them to pay for household expenses (and I know my hubby would feel the same way).
However…the BIL situation is a whole another story. I’m also curious as to why your 2 BILs don’t contritute anything to the household expenses.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
Keeping your parents is a shame? I feel sorry for you!
Shame? No.
I just don't want my future spouse's family to meddle in our affairs and eat up our money.
Especially if we live in a small house, or apartment or some **** like and/or don't make enough money to provide for four people.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband’s family…
^ This. Expecting a non-earning parent to pay is ridiculous. If the parents are well-to-do and have their own income, I still wouldn’t expect them to pay for the mortgage or household bills. Sure, if there are luxurious extras the PILs expect ***and they can afford for themselves ***(i.e. the latest electronic gadgets, new car, vacations), I’d think they should consider paying part of it or going without the latest IPad or trip to Turkey, especially if the couple doesn’t have disposable income and is saving for their own rainy day.
As for the BILs - if the BILs have limited income and are saving for school/buy a home/wedding - I’d probably not expect them to contribute either, but that’s if the couple is comfortably off. If the couple is struggling to make ends meet for just basic household expenses, then everyone should pitch in, however they can.
Yes, more people in the home means higher utility/food bills - but how much of a difference does it make?
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
Folks, nowhere was I complaining about about my inlaws living with us, nor us having to provide for them. There is no way I'm going to expect my aging in-laws to work. The reason I provided details about their financial situation was just to explain my situation.
The reason I asked this question was because I know of some couples that moved in with in-laws and although both husband and wife were working full time, they did not contribute a penny to the home expenses. I thought this was odd and I was just curious about whether that is common or if that is a rare thing.
As for the BILs, yes, I think once we move into the house we need to them to stop spending money on cars and going out and contribute to the home. Especially since I'm planning on leaving my job to go back to school.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
Hubby didn't want his bros to contribute at first, saying they're young (they're in their early 20s and work full time), and he wants them to enjoy life and just spend on themselves, but I think that they should contribute, at least a bit, so that they can learn to be responsible and not blow their entire income on luxuries. It's good to see that I'm not silly in thinking this. My hubby is the typical elder son and just wants to take care of everything himself.
Re: For those married couples living with the husband's family...
^ No, you're not silly in thinking this. Your hubby needs to realize that he also needs to start saving money for you/him. As for the 2 BILs in their 20's.....they need to learn how to be responsible with their money. They need to realize that 100% of their income can't be for fun.
If your husband wants to be a good elder son and take care of his brothers...then he should be teaching them how to be financially responsible so they can take care of themselves and THEIR wife/kids in the future. Teach them how to make make a budget. They should contribute a little bit to you two to help for groceries/some bills etc, save money for their own future/emergency situations, and also learn to take a PORTION of their income for fun.
