I remember I went to Pakistan 3 years after I got married and every aunty that visited would ask me why I still didn’t have kids, and that I would eventually get old and be unable to conceive and that I was missing out on life and that having kids is of utmost importance to sustain my marriage otherwise the guys go for second marriage. Phew. So I would just say, aap dua karey insha’Allah humara bhi yehi plan hai ki bachay ho jaye’en ab :halo:
And then 6 years went by and we still didn’t have kids so whenever I entered a ladies gathering I was looked upon with sneaky little eyes wandering toward my belly to see perhaps I was godh bhari
And then I had a daughter and within few months the question was when are we having our next baby and that Allah tumhay beta dey. So I had another beti 3 years later and now everyone wants to know beta kab ho raha hai.
If I ever have a beta, I would perhaps be asked ki dusra beta kab ho raha hai because one is never enough.
So the moral of the story is, smile your way through their questions and in from one ear and out the other!
when i went to pakistan i was asked my neighbour's bahu whether it was 'Allah's will or we dont are not planning yet' in front of my little cousins and i said both.
my mum had problems conceiving and my brother was born 10 years after their wedding, so it was common for my khalas to pray for me, as many thought i was having same problems and when we did tried i found out that i had POC, but luckly after 3 monthe i fell pregnant. i did got scared at first!
I dont think you need to provide an explanation to anybody...just simply say "Whatever Allah has it planned"
Shouldn't ask further questions when it comes to taqdeer...
we just celebrated our first anniversary almost a month ago, and that horrible question has been coming at me from work, from home, from friends... its ridiculous! i keep telling people, we're planning for next year, because, well, we are... but really... it gets a bit much sometimes. i mean, when i have kids iA, i'm sure i'll discuss them more than enough, but at least let me have my own life right now!
RupayHalwa, now that is the kind of response I want to give to some people but I really want to know what if the auntie is close to you or your hubby in 'rishtah' and being VERY intrudive, what do you do? Can you still tell her it's none of her business or other similar response? My husband's aunt is being very annoying and I'm dying to just tell her to mind her own business! :(
As much as i would love to tell u to punch her in the nose and tell her to mind her own business... I really have to say that with relatives like that who command a certain level of respect, its better NOT to rock the boat. Aunties like that can get awfully offended at a response they feel is undeserved, and could slander u to the rest of the family for the next 20 years.
Best thing would b to ask your hubby what to say to her and then respond. I would grin and bear it from someone like that bcos i know how much trouble they can cause if u give them an answer they don't like.
I have also become a professional at suddenly becoming deaf, expert at changing the subject and starting a different conversation with whoever is passing by.
I know how annoying it is! I am asked every year from aunties when I will have another one, and I'm like 'I'm still studying do you have a problem with it'...I hate it when aunties ask. Then when you put on abit of weight they automatically assume your pregnant!
ech it irritates me so much that people ask such questions. so far, cos me and hubby havent lived together much since marrying, none of my rels have asked such qs, but i know the time will come , and i agree with RupayHalwa, its best not to rock the boat with certain relatives cos they may make trouble for you, and if you do say something like “mind your own beeswax” lol, then they might actually think you’re being defensive and why are you being defensive and the gossip starts right there!
So far, my experience of nosy qs, has actually come from my hubby lol, a few of his friends have teased him about whether or not or when theyre going to be uncles :halo:. its so infuriating that people assume after marriage you should start popping the babies out . double ech:hinna:
As easy as it sounds, its difficult to tell ppl to mind their own business. Especially if its someone from your in-laws side and seems to be a nice person.
So far I have said that whenever there will be a news, you will be told...but when someone asks such a personal question about prevention I just got so stunned...
I dont feel ready to have kids yet. we've been married for 2 yrs and only now I have started to feel that I am getting hubby to know better. I have been ill for a year or so and want to develop a stronger bond with hubby and enjoy our free life more like travel more and do stuff here before I wanna have a baby
Oh! I also forgot about that time a few months after my wedding, when some distant relative of my mother's whom I have only seen once or twice in my life, visited us. As I was serving her tea, she was like, "you look like you've gained weight." I just smiled and tried to ignore it. Then she was like, "how much have you gained?" I was stunned, and I didn't say anything. Then she continued to ask about "khushkhabri."
I mean, who do you think you are woman, to be asking me all these personal questions?!?
I'd snap at anyone that asks me about anything as private as contraception etc. regardless of their age! Aunties will be aunties! When u're not married they MUST ask when u're getting married, when u're engaged they must ask when the wedding is.. when u're married they must ask when u plan on having a baby, then when the next one's coming.. uff!
Yeah, and then there are aunties who say, hai tumhara miaN itnai dubla ho gaya hai..beta usko kuch khilaya karo. No, aunty jee, I prefer to eat all his portions as well because I’m a paitu. And so far he’s been surviving on air. Or, why don’t you move in with us and feed him
You should just say… “aunty jee, he doesnt want to turn into an uncle just yet. He’s trying hard to keep fit for the kids.. he wants to be the cool daddy”
, and i agree with RupayHalwa, its best not to rock the boat with certain relatives cos they may make trouble for you, and if you do say something like “mind your own beeswax” lol, then they might actually think you’re being defensive and why are you being defensive and the gossip starts right there!