So how do you respond to the nosy type of ppl who ask you why u havent had a baby yet? especially when ppl ask you what u r using (prevention)..what can one say to this question
It is just soooo private.I wouldnt discuss it with anyone, not even my sisters, friends or my mother…but lately this girl just asked me if I was on pills or if hubby was using something..come on, how can someone ask that!!!
I used to say that when we’ll have a baby we’ll let u know, but its like some ppl r just dumb and dont get the hint…
Do you live in a western country? This is a normal and acceptable subject of conversation in the west. If you arent comfortable talking about it, just change the subject....like when they ask you why you havent conceived, begin talking about your career, or how busy you are at home or where can you buy a certain type of meat because you want to make a nice dinner for company etc. Like, sorry that topic is not my concern - or yours - right now so lets talk about something else.
ya i dont think its a big deal (method of contraception) .. ive been asked the same question myself, albeit by close friends and not just any ol hag...
as for when you wil have a baby.. no harm in just telling them whatever reason you have for not wanting a baby right now.... my answers would be i dont want one right now or im studying so dont have have the time.. its a long term answer and puts ppl off your back for quite some time.... mine stopped asking anything once i said i was studying ... they know it takes forever to learn danish so ya :D
im expecting now so no more question answer rounds.
I know, it esp gets embarrassing when some aunty asks. Last time when I went to Pakistan start of this year, my Tayyi came to meet. Her sister was with her who i don't even know. the minute she was alone in the room, she asked what we were using as we haven't had a baby yet. i was so shocked!
haha why do ppl wanna know what sort of prevention others are using!
reminds me of the time during Olevel biology (back in the raging hormonal times)! we were studying human reproduction and condoms in particular, and this one gutsy raises his hand and goes 'sir what sort of a condom do you use', the teacher goes 'the same one your dad uses'! haha!
You can always tell those pesky people its none of their business, or politely tell them its something really personal and you dont feel comfortable discussing it.
haha i guess it is ok if they are someone close , but thn again if u r not comfortable with it you should be straight up and tell them dt they dont need to know wt u r usin and as for a baby you will have one when your ready
its OK yaar, it is the only time our desi women are allowed talk a lil dirty. you should just play along and say something like
"abhi tau life enjaaye ker rahay hain, aagay aagay daikhyay hota hay kyaa" or
"aunty abhee tau mai khood aik bachee hooN, zara baRRa holainay dain" or
"aunty woh merai huzbaynd jau jain naa woh nahee chaahtay kay mai itni jaldi baby paida karoon aur aunty lagnay lagoon (and do a wink) "
haha why do ppl wanna know what sort of prevention others are using!
reminds me of the time during Olevel biology (back in the raging hormonal times)! we were studying human reproduction and condoms in particular, and this one gutsy raises his hand and goes 'sir what sort of a condom do you use', the teacher goes 'the same one your dad uses'! haha!
You can always tell those pesky people its none of their business, or politely tell them its something really personal and you dont feel comfortable discussing it.
Do you live in a western country? **This is a normal and acceptable subject of conversation in the west. **If you arent comfortable talking about it, just change the subject....like when they ask you why you havent conceived, begin talking about your career, or how busy you are at home or where can you buy a certain type of meat because you want to make a nice dinner for company etc. Like, sorry that topic is not my concern - or yours - right now so lets talk about something else.
Hmm, i disagree with this being an acceptable conversation in the west, particularly when the person who is asking u is someone whom u barely know.
I have been accosted by aunties whom i barely know, and total strangers who know me just by sight who demand (yes, thats right, DEMAND) to know
A) what method of contraception we r using,
B) If we are seeking treatment,
C) If we are having a problem conceiving.
D) When we r going to have kids - this has been the most politest of the range of enquiries.
This has been since year dot of my marriage up until now.
Depending on who is asking, my responses differ from the typical "we r kids ourselves / can barely take care of ourselves let alone kids" to "I do not think that is an appropriate topic of conversation with some one who is not my close friend".
One Aunty sat her self down and tried to persistently bully me into telling her my reproductive plans. Eventually i decided she doesnt deserve my respect and i straight away told her she does not need to know the details of my life and i will not b telling her anything. She thought i was rude and left.
So my view on this, if u dont like the questions, respond nicely if u like the person or if u think they r asking out of sincerity. B blunt with them, tell them to mind their own business if they r just after gossip.
Rupay, beleive me I understand what you're saying....but still, its a popular topic for gals in college, gals in the workplace etc etc. It can be considered "casual conversation" if you know what I mean, to discuss birth control methods, side effects, plans for conception etc. Those types are easier to blow off than the interfering auntie types I know.
I went thru a 3 year period of infertility, seeking treatments etc and you'd faint at some of the questions I was asked...I mean when its known that you have trouble, people think that your reproductive abilities (or lack of) are open to public discussion. At one point, I told my husband that we should enlarge a copy of his semen analysis and proudly post it on a billboard in our front yard lol.
Anyway, i guess its just human nature to be nosy and if someone asks you something that makes you uncomfortable, then the answer is to become very suddenly deaf.
The billboard idea is a great one, i'm going to take it to a new level and hire a billboard van to drive around our town with a constant loudspeaker announcement! LOL!!!
**One Aunty sat her self down and tried to persistently bully me into telling her my reproductive plans. Eventually i decided she doesnt deserve my respect and i straight away told her she does not need to know the details of my life and i will not b telling her anything. She thought i was rude and left.
So my view on this, if u dont like the questions, respond nicely if u like the person or if u think they r asking out of sincerity. B blunt with them, tell them to mind their own business if they r just after gossip.**
RupayHalwa, now that is the kind of response I want to give to some people but I really want to know what if the auntie is close to you or your hubby in 'rishtah' and being VERY intrudive, what do you do? Can you still tell her it's none of her business or other similar response? My husband's aunt is being very annoying and I'm dying to just tell her to mind her own business! :(
im not married but soon will be and me n my fiance r not planning to have babies for a couple of years, but i dnt agree with ppl asking y arent u guys havin babies?? and then giv u that look ooohh theres something wrong and then u can see there mind starts thinkin omg who could it be her or him. and talkin about contraception with friends is fine because it gives u more information about the topic if u kno what i mean...
So how do you respond to the nosy type of ppl who ask you why u havent had a baby yet? especially when ppl ask you what u r using (prevention)..what can one say to this question
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THAT is so rude! I haven't been asked what method we are using but I'm sure it's coming...I really wouldn't know how to respond. I might just snap as I think it's very offensive!
Worse comes to worse, just tell the aunties or nosies...well we are JUST so busy perfecting the art of conception that theres no time for the actual RESULT of it yet (wink wink with a nasty-girl smile on your face), If THAT doesnt shut em up then nothin will!
Whatever the age group the peson belongs to i'd say "it's not polite to ask such questions" I'd never answer ANY such questions, there's a certain "pardah" I know aunties MUST ask and insist on finding-out details but it's between u and u're husband.. no one else needs to be answered.
