Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
Id be earning enough so my wife wouldnt have to work and her job would be making me comfy when i return from work ::):
However if she wanted to work, make her career slave her ass in the rough world of men out there ---her choice----ofcourse would want her happy.
But after kids......I strongly prefer her not to work---A mother is essential for young kids upbringing and education.
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
In today's world, its not the matter of choice anymore. You need money to run a household and for that women have to be prepared, whether its part-time or full-time, before or after kids
How many of you men would be okay with your wife (current/future) deciding whether she wanted to stay home or work? Before kids, after kids? I'm not asking if you would be okay with her working or not, I'm asking if you would leave it up to her and let her decide? Be honest :)
I'll just be stating what many have said here. After marriage, it's never an individual decision. Many factors have to be considered mutually. On the flip side, if the guy decides that he wants to be a pilot and travel the world, would the wife be okay with it? Would she be okay after they have kids?
do all stay at home mums daughters end up being stay at home ones as well? a quick glance in my own khandan indicates that is not the case. why would it be different for men?
PS: are mommies at home not good rolemodels for the kids also?
I am sorry X2 but I do not know what were you thinking while typing above.
A woman's first and utmost duty is to stay at home and take care of hubby needs, kids n manage her house.
A man's first n utmost duty is to earn and provide finance for various needs of life plus provide social security to his family.
You cannot switch these roles as this is something Nature has liked for you. Human has never been successful whenever he has tried to go against nature.
If stay at home mum;s daughter ends up being stay at home wife, so whats so odd abt that? thats actually what she is expected to be. It wont be something shocking or something against the norms.
But if your son ends up being a stay at home daddy, most prolly a ghar damaad , just coz he is a lazy person with no ego, or he was brought up like this, then its surely a shame for him and shame for his parents who brought him up like this. It will be shocking and it will be against the norms.
I am sure there can be some **exceptional **cases in some families where Dad has to be at home for SOME reasons but in normal circumstances it never happens. The men who wants to be at home and expect their wives to earn , are a shame on the name of Masculanity.
For a man there is no choice but that he should be the bread winner, Just like a woman has no choice but that that only she can produce babies and man cannot. If the baby thing was swtichable, like first year I deliver a baby and tell hubby next year would be your turn to produce one, then it was all fine.
Dont mix up the roles and dont make things complicated puleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.
X2 Has to reply for the Rest , I just want to highlight some
Shabash FT .......
For a man there is no choice but that he should be the bread winner, Just like a woman has no choice but that that only she can produce babies and man cannot. If the baby thing was swtichable, like first year I deliver a baby and tell hubby next year would be your turn to produce one, then it was all fine.
Dont mix up the roles and dont make things complicated puleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.
LOLZZZZZZZ
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
First you need to decide what more is important to you, Marriage or career...
There are alot of wo/men who would let go of a career for a marriage and and marriage for a career... Its all about what you consider important for yourself, if its a career, no matter how hard your patner tries, theres no chance your desire for career can be penned down.. Even if it is, it would pile up to be a rage, which would definitly damage the marriage.
Having a career is not bad and neither sitting at home, as long as it doesnt turn into an ego war or an obligation on you... Women should have the right to decide what they want and the ability to be flexible if odds are against them
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
I agree wholeheartedly with those who say its a joint decision - and one that should be discussed before marriage. If a gal wants a career then marry a man who is ok with that. If a man wants a house wife then marry a gal who wants that lifestyle. Forcing that decision on a spouse is a recipe for marital disaster.
As far as those who think an education and work experience is wasted, thats such a false point of view! Education and experience are never wasted. If a woman leaves her career for years then sure, you start over when returning to work - but you start with the knowledge and experience of having "been there, done that" and are so much better equipped to rise up the ladder quickly.
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
I think it all comes down to the same stupid argument that men and women are not only equal but the SAME. I strongly disagree with this, otherwise we would see men giving birth to babies as well, which proves that men and women are essentially different and have different roles. Men are supposed to be the bread winners and women are supposed to do a good upbringing of children and make the home a heaven. Doesn't matter how much "intellectual" crap someone presents, I think these are the natural roles and no wonder the family structure has collapsed with illegitimate children, affairs, divorces becoming very common in the west due to messing up with the natural balance of the things. For people supporting women going out of house, I would love to see how do they explain the collapsing family structure.
Yes, exceptionally, we do need some female docs, but that does not mean that each and every woman should go to work.
My hubby would never suggest i give up my career, cause im a better person for it, its a personal choice of whether you want to sit at home being a housewife or not, its a def no no for me, he respects my desire to pursue my career, but we have some clear agreements in place that also balances home life.....so both happy :)
Well, these things should be discussed prior to marriage.
In my ideal world, I would be married at 26, enjoy a year or two with hubs, have kids at 28 and 30, stay at home full-time until 34 (both kids would be in school then), and then be able to resume work easily from 34 to mid 60s. Or maybe even longer...I really like working and meeting new people :)
However, in the REAL world, if i stayed home for those years, I would pretty much blacklist myself out of the market.
The lady I used to nanny for had the ideal scenario for me. 29 years old, super fit and pretty, with one smiling baby. Her hubby treated her staying at home just like any other job; he used to deposit $3000 in her account every month and he bought her a separate SUV. I used to just nanny for her two half-days a week. In those two days, she taught a gym class and then did errands for her husband. Her husband could easily say that "i make 10x more than you, why are you teaching a dumb gym class" or "i didnt make you stay at home to hire a babysitter" but he was really supportive of it. Now they are buying the franchise of that gym together.
Anyway I liked that she was a stay at home mom, yet was still able to have a life.... thanks to her hubby's support. Btw this guy was a college dropout.
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
i think in Pakistan there are more working women then house wives.
hint: in farms, maids, kaam walis, house keepers, teachers of gali gali k nukker per school main, bankers, doctors, nurses, Politician, PM of Pakistan, and recently added to this lists are GD pilots :p
I am sorry X2 but I do not know what were you thinking while typing above.
If you dont know then I guess you can not really comment, oops i guess you did without knowing what I meant, and since you did not know. It makes no sense for me to respond to the rest of the post :) cheers
In case you did not realize it let me make it very elementary for you. someone said that if a man is a stay at home dad, his son will become a stay at home dad too because that is the role model he has. I questioned that statement because I found it rather ignorant, and noted that ladies who are stay at home moms dont always have daughters who are stay at home moms, so why would it be the same for men who are stay at home dads.
There was no talk about what is right or what is wrong, culturally or based on gender roles or nature or any of the rest of the yipyap. So fine evaluate it in terms of culture and nature and what nots, that was not what I was responding to anyways.
X2 Has to reply for the Rest , I just want to highlight some
Shabash FT .......
LOLZZZZZZZ
I have to reply for jack. she missed the entire point, which still stands.
so I am not obligated to address any part of the rest of the jibber jabber bhashan :) cheers
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
Interesting discussion.... I'm enlightened :)
Carry on please.
Well you thought wrong. Maybe you should read more about what constitutes volunteer work. Besides you were the one who said it's not necessarily about the money.
Also, if you look at Women's history prior to 1920s, you would know the amazing contributions of women volunteers who -gasp!- worked for 18 or more years in a volunteer capacity.
That's because they didn't have much choice other than volunteer work :p
My dad was the same - didn't want my mom to work. He's been busting his two daughters to go through an ordeal of schooling, to work. Not to sit at home.
Yup--mnie was the same. wants me to get my masters but wasn't happy to let my mom do the same. so she didn't.
if job is respectable like teacher and doctery then its o.k otherwise i wil nt allow my wife to do the humiliated jobs
wat jobs do u think are humiliated ?
It's really amusing to see these posts...
As if what you decide before marriage is goin to go on for life? people dont' change views ever?
If u marry a housewife how sure are you that she wont wnat to work?
if u marry a career woman how sure are u that she wont want to stay at home?
all other jobs are humiliated (err say what.. i suppose that was meant to be ‘humiliating’), police women, guards, nurses, coaches, lawyers, counselors, physical therapists, hair dressers, make up artists.
all these jobs can be handled by men and not women. 
but you know who will be the first in line whimpering if a woman is frisked by a male security guard 
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
^:omg:
Re: For men: Career or home, would you let your wife decide?
Like Mmof3 said, the decision or discussion should be made before marriage.
1- After marriage only if the need arise, the discussion should be made of advantages or disadvantages.
2- Marrying a 'career' woman and 'make her' sit at home is bad in general. (please note I did not say 'educated' woman)
But if the household or children are potentially get disrupted by her going out to work then she must stay home. Especially if the man is perfectly able to provide the good necessities of life.
3- It is the woman's job to take care of household/kids first. This has nothing to do with desi or non-desi culture. It is universal.
4- There are men who marry physicians/lawyers/accountants/CPA/ Engineers and then ask, coerce or force them to stay home. Unless some special circumstances require, these women should be given the free choice.
The man should not say, "I am able to provide so you stay home and leave your career."
5- It is the man's job to provide and hence he should not be given a 'choice'.