i do and did. i told her in the very beginning what i didn’t want and what i wanted in a spouse, and she told me what she herself is looking in a potential mate for me. i mean why not?
i haven’t really met someone yet…but i am sure once even if i do meet someone who i would be interested in getting married to, i don’t think i will be able to talk to my parents about it.
im not anywhere near of getting married yet, but when i think about it i always wonder, how is a conversation brought up? Do mom’s talk to their daughters seperately when they are in the age of marriage and asks Questions about what they want or like etc.
I wouldnt talk to dad, i mean its embarrasing to talk to them about marriage! But mom… i dont know, maybe …
i’ve had a chat about this with mum. basically all she said to me was that her and dad are happy for me to make my own choice and find my own marriage partner and then she just laid out some criteria for me to follow lol, which i also agree with. just things like he should be educated to degree level, have a good job, obviously muslim and preferably punjabi/pakistani… little does she know i’ve already found the perfect guy lol! im gonna tell her next yr inshallah and i’ll probably feel kind of shy telling her about him but i know i can be open and honest about it since we have already had discussions. i feel very fortunate and happy that i have such an open relationship with mum otherwise i dont know how i would approach this whole thing.
i can’t talk to my dad about this stuff. he doesn’t even like the fact that i talk to guys just as class fellows or whatever but as for girls, once you get to that age, your mom will tell you so i’m rishta hunting. that’s the time for you to lay down what you want. how tall, wide and rich
its not about desires, it about what is your daughters approach in life? there is a define line between compromising, and adjustment. if the girl is compromising then it means she is aware of the sad state of her life and she is in pain. whereas adjustment is what ever the state of situation is you gotta adopt it.
so its good parents discuss it with their daughters that in what things she needs to adopt and what things she can adapts, keeping in mind her approach in life
you took a risk of not involving your parents on the very first step. it is delightful that it worked out, but its a risk.
btw, it shows that your parents do trust your choices in life, not in just this scenario but also in other things.
Since I’m in the mood to respond to Life1 threads, I’ll reply even though I’m nowhere near the shaadi stage I’m not going to go to my mom and speak to her about anything: I’ll wait for her to come to me I want an arranged marriage i’A, so I guess I will have to speak to my mum & dad about everything quite openly and I’d want to aswell. How comfortable that’ll be, only time will tell
Definitely agree with the bold bit, no marriage plans until education is complete and career plans are atleast, secure.