Do u think ur life is better than housewives?If yes,how?If no,then what are the problems u have to face and y do u still prefer to work?
Re: For all the married working ladies
Re: For all the married working ladies
i dont prefer to work, i have to work. I have to cook, clean, work and try to enjoy everything. My hubby helps out a lot, he says he wouldn't be helping if i was a housewife. So i dont knw, but i still think life would be more enjoyable if i wasn't working, and was taking care of my little one at home.
I'd say staying at home with kids is far much more fun...
Before everyone jumps up high, Ive worked part time n full time alongwith trying to manage a happy home and boy it's hard.
I'm on mat leave now n possibly won't go bk to work I have more time for me too which is nice as when u work, look after the house, hubby n kids u dnt well I dnt have me time n I felt tensed all the time I was constantly chasing my tail( it's a phrase lol dnt really have one)
Now that my mat leaves comin to a end I dnt think I want to go bk to work, these yrs dnt come bk again n u only have one life!!!
Re: For all the married working ladies
I grew up knowing I'd NEVER be a stay-at-home mom/housewife and how I'd want to be a working woman w/ an established career and all that jazz. But then I dont know what happened but I don't want to work. I'll eventually utilize my degree (literature and filmmaking) but I really like the idea of not working and just running the household and being there when the Mr. would come home from work. My friends would be so disappointed if they knew this. :D
That being said, he doesn't want me to work although he would be very supportive when I choose to. His own preferences is that I should stay not work and let him take care of all that stuff. The old me would be mortified at that idea but I've grown to really love that traditional idea.
Re: For all the married working ladies
I've been both...stay at home full time mommy and working outside the house mommy...they both have their pros and cons and I've loved every minute of both! The best advice I can give is to go with the flow, don't have any pre-conceived notions either way. Follow your gut instinct as to what's best for you and your family.
But yes, I agree that the first 5 years, it's best to stay home...its such a crucial and special time of development! I went back to work full time when the twins started KG, and it's working out fine for us alhamdullilah!
Re: For all the married working ladies
I work full time (12-14 hours/day x 4-5 days/wk). I choose to work. I also have a 5.5 month old baby.
is my life better as compared to housewives? .... I really don't know. "better" is such a relative term. I will say though that amongst my circle of acquaintances, all of the married women are exclusive homemakers and each and everyone of them has approached me and advised me not to stop working. Don't ask me why ... I don't know why they said so and I didn't bother asking as their reasoning for working/not working would be pretty irrelevant to me.
why do I work? ... I work because I enjoy it. I make a difference in peoples lives, it gives me complete financial independence, tremendous intellectual stimulation and really helps hone my multitasking skills.
My work is not just a job ... its my career .. Its something I've worked towards for 26 years.
contrary to the popular beliefs on GS .... I'm not a terrible mother ... my child is not neglected, nor is she being raised by strangers. Infact, I have not used babysitting services even a single day ... not even with grandma/aunt ... how? ... I work almost exclusively at night when baby is under her fathers watch and we switch in morning.
Contrary also to popular belief on GS .. I'm not a terrible housekeeper/homemaker. My home is spotless (without help of professional cleaning services), I cook fresh food 5 out of the 7 days of week and maintain a fairly decent social life.
contrary also to popoular belief on GS ... I'm not a terrible, absentee wife. I know all and every detail of my husbands life. his friends/coworkers. we talk all the time. we shop together, eat together and well ... have managed to produce a kid within one year of marriage ... so the bedroom aint suffering either.
and as you all can see ....I STILL have time left over to putter around GS! .... I did say my multitasking skills are good!
Re: For all the married working ladies
I dont want to work because I think I am lazy
Re: For all the married working ladies
^^ this 
No two situations are the same. What works for some, may not work for others…find the best option for your own family…happy wife, happy life!
Re: For all the married working ladies
Re: For all the married working ladies
I agree one can't pick one over the other and say that this is better or that is. I worked full time, managed inlaws, my own family, husband studying for a pro qualification and working long hours.
The only thing missing in that mix was a kid. After the kid I was working part time, and working from home and managing home + kid and families (without any help in a country where help is easily available)
And now I am home all day, at each point of time it was the best decision at that point of time itself. Our priorities change and with that so do our choices.
I was much much more productive and social as a working woman than I am now, reason for that is my own non chalant attitude about housework. I tend to put things off now that I didn't do when I was working. But when I look at it my kid is getting my undivided attention at the moment, and I feel secure knowing that he needs me now and inshAllah once school starts he is gonna start getting more independent.
I can always go back to work but I can't get this time with my kid again. Bottom line, my choices are based on my circumstances and priorities. And like ehl said what works for one might not work for the other.
I do wish that desi women would stop looking down on women who have kids and choose to work. I came across this a lot, I was given odd looks because my 2 month old kid was with my mother while I worked. It was like I had a label that said I am a bad mother and these are women who have their maids looking after their kids (18 hours a day) while they enjoy gabbing on the phone or go shopping or attend kitty parties. Seriously !!!
Plus I noticed there was a stigma or a sign attached to you if you work that says that you didn't bag a money making machine who can pamper you and spoil you.
(These are just things I have come across not everyone might be this way)
Re: For all the married working ladies
I think that working women should also not criticize stay at home moms. I used to work full time before getting married. I didn't ask for a single penny from my parents and managed to graduate on my own income alone. I started working full time as soon as I turned 16 to help support my parents. After I got married I wanted to take some time off and enjoy my life staying at home, going out shopping... just doing everything but work. Had a baby after 2 years of marriage and I absolutely love my time with him. I see a lot of people here advising girls who don't have much control/say in financial stuff at home, that they should go out be independent and work. What is being independent??? I am independent... don't have to answer anyone where I spend money and I don't work. Every now and then I support my parents too.... and I don't work!!! I think best approach is to work on your relationship with your husband. Unless you want to/or need to work there shouldn't be any other reason for you to go out and work. As some point in life, when my kids start going to school, I would want to go back to work. But for now I wouldn't give anything for the time I spend with my baby. I've seen him enjoy his first snow, seen him take his first step, every single thing, I am enjoying. Like someone said, we can always go back to work, but this time with our babies won't come back.
Re: For all the married working ladies
I don't know...so far I have not been house wife only...I am still working..sometimes I get fed up with work and I wish I could just quit. I do know that when I have kids I do want to be with them at least till they go to school...so I am working hard right now, so that I might be able to stay at home when I have kids...but I dnt know what the future holds for me...
Who knows...maybe I'll get really bored staying at home, and would want to go back to work..or maybe I'll enjoy it!
Re: For all the married working ladies
I'm speaking strictly of my own experience but I think it really depends on the kind of job you have. If you work hard in school and work towards a career, the chances that you'll be happy working and be able to juggle home and work life are higher than, say, if you hate your job and/or are only working to bring home a paycheck. I've had many jobs that I loathed and all I wanted was to quit and stay home and be a housewife. but that life gets old pretty quickly. I think once you find something that you enjoy doing, it becomes easier to manage it all.
Re: For all the married working ladies
So, is this the place to find a sugar mama?
Re: For all the married working ladies
When I was a kid...my mom decided to spend those first few years at home with us. I still remember those days with such fondness. She was happy and relaxed. There's a special feeling you get when you see you come home to your mom.
I want my kids to have that too.
Re: For all the married working ladies
I'm desperate to be a housewife.
I'm tired of working and then cooking every other day after I come home from work. I'm tired of devoting my entire Saturdays to cleaning the entire place and doing laundry.
Would rather stay home during the week and do this stuff during the day.
The only reason why I do work is for the money. It's my money and I could spend it any which way I could :D
My dream in life is to be a saas. They live the good life :D
Re: For all the married working ladies
I've been on both sides and I much prefer to work.
Someone said it above.....it provides me with a purpose every single day.....I get intellectual stimulation and I am challenged to accomplish goals that I was lacking when I was home.
No doubt each option has its pros and cons but I think it is our individual personality and our stage in life that determines which we prefer.
Re: For all the married working ladies
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Do u think ur life is better than housewives
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Not 'better', just different. I'm not married but I know for sure that when I do get married I will carry on working. Part of it is because I can't afford not to work - even if I was to marry someone who was 'well off', I would still want my own money to spend on my parents, etc. Another reason would be to encourage my children the ethics of working hard, especially in a society where everything costs money.
I'm not in any way saying that being a housewife isn't hard work, we all have women in the family who make wonderful wives and mothers and who don't work, but I would say that society is changing and work can become something that we can try to fit into our lifestyles in order to pay for stuff/build a career
Re: For all the married working ladies
I work full time (12-14 hours/day x 4-5 days/wk). I choose to work. I also have a 5.5 month old baby.
is my life better as compared to housewives? .... I really don't know. "better" is such a relative term. I will say though that amongst my circle of acquaintances, all of the married women are exclusive homemakers and each and everyone of them has approached me and advised me not to stop working. Don't ask me why ... I don't know why they said so and I didn't bother asking as their reasoning for working/not working would be pretty irrelevant to me. why do I work? ... I work because I enjoy it. I make a difference in peoples lives, it gives me complete financial independence, tremendous intellectual stimulation and really helps hone my multitasking skills. My work is not just a job ... its my career .. Its something I've worked towards for 26 years. contrary to the popular beliefs on GS .... I'm not a terrible mother ... my child is not neglected, nor is she being raised by strangers. Infact, I have not used babysitting services even a single day ... not even with grandma/aunt ... how? ... I work almost exclusively at night when baby is under her fathers watch and we switch in morning. Contrary also to popular belief on GS .. I'm not a terrible housekeeper/homemaker. My home is spotless (without help of professional cleaning services), I cook fresh food 5 out of the 7 days of week and maintain a fairly decent social life. contrary also to popoular belief on GS ... I'm not a terrible, absentee wife. I know all and every detail of my husbands life. his friends/coworkers. we talk all the time. we shop together, eat together and well ... have managed to produce a kid within one year of marriage ... so the bedroom aint suffering either.
and as you all can see ....I STILL have time left over to putter around GS! .... I did say my multitasking skills are good!
MASHALLAH...u really really inspired me :)