Re: for all married men, need your views...
itni na piya karro..
itni na piya karro..
inki terhan sober raha kero.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
i know in laws can be pain sometime for wives and husbands, for me its not possible to leave my parents alone specially when i am the only son, this is something i wouldnt compromise and anyone who was marrying me knew this is part of the package either sharhi or non sharai. if this is expected and agreed before marriage as well informed by both parties, then it might be different or my parents are abusive or treat her really bad.
and hey its not a "Sin" to live with in laws. some people love to use sharia as excuse only when its seems good for them.
for the question
X2 has given a very right answer already.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
oops, she has a lot of problems, she needs a seperate house, she says my husband doesnt fulfill ma requirements, where her husband is an ideal personality, i can BET, any girl can dream of him, 3rd she has the psycho case, which sometimes she denies n sometimes accepts.. even she was left all alone for a couple ov months with her husband, she tortured him there too, in every fight she takes out knifes and cutters and injure herself, she disobeys her husband, but still he thinks, shayad wo kabhi theek hojaye, he says who will marry her if i leave her knowing she has a ppsycho prob, i ask him not to turn his life psycho, she doesnt have kids too, he is soooooooooooooo kindhearted!!! but she is really good in acting and seducing!!! maybe thats why he thnks she is innocent!!! but i have seen her once in ma life fighting, she is sooooo weird... i felt!!! may Allah Bless him!
Re: for all married men, need your views...
^^...:(
Re: for all married men, need your views...
i feel there is great difference of expectations and reality life she has after marriage, she may have expected all rosy rosy scenario with prince charming.. but reality is not always so romantic. and i guess thats why she is behaving like this in immature way like injuring herself. did she has this problem before marriage??
and some people may be very ideal for some and not for other type of people. looking at what you saying about this girl.. your views also biased towards this guy.
someone i know who use to do that, steadily with husband tolrance and guidance, now doesnt go for such crazy acts. initial 1 year was almost hell for this couple, both having arguments, wife go out of house for a long walk, trying to commit suicide, etc etc. and they guy was very gentle and doest loose temper sometime in response to what she says. there was no apparent problem with guy, was nice, have a separate house from in laws, have good job etc the only problem he figured out slowly.. was the expectations from wife were not met and she didnt have the life she has expected after marriage, ie to take her out daily , weekends more far places, long honey moon, holidays etc etc. and for guy who try to do all that, but not enough.. not many men can go for walk or to restaurant after 10-12 hours office work and commuting...
she realised with time and now less arguments, but she still hold this against him that he didnt fulfill her requirements. and i think guy was very patient with her and relationship survived, otherwise it looked doomed from very first month. and its not she had the very cushy life before marriage that she didnt ahve after, guy and his family is far more well off than the girl's one.
thats very similar to above case, but in this they both compromised guy tried really hard and supportive later she also realised, now they have a kid and living compartively peacefull life.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
amour, if u a boy, i may ask you would you leave your parents at any cost??? leaving all the issues behind, if you a gal, would you ask your husband to leave his family forever for YOU???
yes, her parents accept she had this psycho prob before marriage n so it was like a betraying act that they didnt inform this to her inlaws before their daughter's marriage...!!!
Re: for all married men, need your views...
^ i gave my answer in my previous post
salam,
i read the whole of the thread and would like to share an experience. i knew a family where the husband is an engineer at a well-to-do position, a relegious one who very skillyfully handles shariah whenever he finds an occassion, he got married to an educated and groomed girl of a respectable family(self-made). his family was also educated i.e., doctors, bankers etc. the boy had a rude nature as these were his family remarks as well. he got to be a psucho as his family atmosphere used to be the one where parents used to fight and there used to be everybody's own atmosphere. he was the only educated amongst his siblings. the girl adjusted in his family in such a way that each family member went a fan of her. the boys' family knew that after a short while clashes are going to start and such happened. the girl's mother died after just four mnths of her marriage. this shattered her completely as she was pregnant as well.
but the boy played his role. the boy had issues at why the girl was sad all the time, it will have bad effects on his baby, why she wanted to be with her younger siblings, after all she should enjoy the new and a lot more. he was altogether a typical eastern man. the girl used to cry the whole nights, started skipping meals and got hospitalized as well but the husband used to torture her by saying bad abt her family. he even threatened her of divorce wen he got a job at a foreign land.
recently wen he has his wife with him as after all the girl is livind with him bcoz of the child and the society, he still teases through various ways such as few days back he demanded a 50% share in her salary if she has a job. i don't know why men don't place such terms before getting married? why don't they show the same attitude bfor marriage? this cud have been better for both of them and why parents do not openly tell abt their sons' attitude problems earlier inspite of later claiming that he used to b of the same sort wid us as well. spoiling a life and making a sane person psych patient can b of any use? kindly justify and cum up wid serious ways as i want to help the miserable person.
inki terhan sober raha kero.
nyah not sober, just a little tipsy.
meena, is htis igrl by any chance your bhabhi. is that why you have made her into a psycho and now you want ot get all these people to agree wiht you so that you can break her home when her husband clealry wants ot work at it.
jsut because a couple is having problem it is does not give any other perons or any other women a right to talk him into divorcing his wife.
shame on you. i gues that is hwat you women learn sitting at hoome watching those sta plus drams where they treach you how to ujar a girls home.
*stop with the personal attacks*
Re: for all married men, need your views...
^well i was wondering same thimg that whose side the OP is?the gal or the guy?looks like she wants voting rom ppl to convince the guy to leave the girl either her bhabi or a rival.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
two possibilities: either she is a "nanad" or want to replace with herself!
guys let’s not make assumptions about the character/intentions of hte OP okay? stick to the topic.
meena, is htis igrl by any chance your bhabhi. is that why you have made her into a psycho and now you want ot get all these people to agree wiht you so that you can break her home when her husband clealry wants ot work at it.
jsut because a couple is having problem it is does not give any other perons or any other women a right to talk him into divorcing his wife.
shame on you. i gues that is hwat you women learn sitting at hoome watching those sta plus drams where they treach you how to ujar a girls home.
*stop with the personal attacks*
Excuse me!!! she isnt my bhabhi, i know the family of that boy personally, secondly, Mr. or Miss. whoever you are, first of all, i would like to make you clear here that "qabar ka haal to muurda hi jaanta hay" secondly, Now after reading your post (i know it wont matter you but still feel lyk writing you here) i have come to this point, that IF you are a gal, you'd b as same as the girl i mentioned, and IF you a boy, you dont love your parents much!!!
Shame on YOU, because almost every senseable person has already posted the answer i was expecting!!! and i dont say they are senseable bcz they replied what i expected, BUT they are senseable because they said something that really sounded right.
May Allah bless you!
Re: for all married men, need your views...
one more thing, i wrote in ma very first line, NEED SERIOUS REPLIES, so please all you non-serious people who are not interested in the topic BUT fightings are requested not to post here, thanks.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
First things first...people can have their opinions and base them on what they hear about this couple...but the thing is, you dont truly know their story unless and until you've walked a mile in their shoes yeah?
I wasted more than 10 years of my life on a marriage that I knew wasnt and couldnt work. Yet, I made that promise "for better, for worse...till death do us part" and I never took that lightly. And neither did all the well-meaning people who offered advice to keep things going. One of the things that made it hell was that he hated my family and would do anything to keep me from them. That is torture plain and simple. That gal is wrong if she thinks she can break a tie that is forever - that of mother/father and child. She does have a right to live separately from her in-laws if she finds it so very troublesome (and that can be a very valid complaint). But to avoid her in-laws altogether is selfish and wrong. And immature.
If you are just a "family friend" then you really have no idea what goes on in this home, apart from what one party (and I doubt it is the husband) is telling you. This tosses your ability to be objective right out the window. It is possible that the girl is pressuring her husband to move out (as is her right), because the situation in the home is unbearable for her. It is possible she suffers from depression, and needs sympathy, not someone instigating her husband to divorce her.
Her husband should provide her with a separate home, while still maintaining contact and good relations with his family. If his family is truly concerned for his well-being, they should help him work out his marital issues by maintaining some distance while he and his wife work out their issues privately.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
Well, sine i have to go against the majority opinion in Life 1 so:
Did this girl tell her that she will like to have a separate house after marriage? If not then she has no right to ask for it.
Is the husband filthy rich? Can he scure a new house that easily? it takes people a lifetime to get a house these days. Does he have enough time to manage his own family life and take care of parents from two different houses?
Some one should knock some sense into this girl.
Excuse me!!! she isnt my bhabhi, i know the family of that boy personally, secondly, Mr. or Miss. whoever you are, first of all, i would like to make you clear here that "qabar ka haal to muurda hi jaanta hay" secondly, Now after reading your post (i know it wont matter you but still feel lyk writing you here) i have come to this point, that IF you are a gal, you'd b as same as the girl i mentioned, and IF you a boy, you dont love your parents much!!! Shame on YOU, because almost every senseable person has already posted the answer i was expecting!!! and i dont say they are senseable bcz they replied what i expected, BUT they are senseable because they said something that really sounded right. May Allah bless you!
So very clearly u r on the guys side.and mind u everybody over here is giving u serious answers.u just hav to hav the guts to accept different opinions.i dunno abt that girl but u surely seem rude n short tempered , To tell u clearly that even if the girl is wrong in her demands creating differences or enhancing probs between a couple is very serious sin.If u r a sincere friend then instead of asking opinions abt divorce u should guide them both in their problem.listen to both sides n then judge or just stop interferring in others life if u can't make it any better.shadi is not gudda guddi play its a huge commitment n compromises N sacrifices hav to b made by both partners.divorce is not a joke either.this is my honest opinion n u don't hav to agree or back fire but reflect on ur role as a muslim n sincere friend/relative.