As this is a serious issue, i may need a serious reply.
I just want to know, on what basis a man divorces his wife, what are those acts which are unbearable for a man to go on his relation and so he should OR he can divorce his wife?? i know is me bohat sari baaten ho sakti hain, but i need as much replies as you people can.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
infidelity is a big one.
breaking trust would be another big issue.
differences in expectations of lifestyle and inability to reach some mutually agreeable position is probably the most common one and it covers lifestyle, physical condition/grooming, interaction with family, finances, social life, views on religion/morals etc.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
I am speaking for my hubby here ... cause I know him well...and he would say about the same as X2. Trust is the hugest thing with him, breaking trust or infidelity would be total disaster. Anything else he would work thru but those things are all-important to him.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
infidelity, lifestyle/money, uhm, jealousy and insecurity also play a role.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
ok- well i know a couple, the girl is asking her husband to provide her a seperate home, saying, its even a sharai haq of a woman to have a seperate house, she doesnt want her husband to meet his parents, she wants to totally take him away out of his home, she cant tolerate the presence of anyone from her in-laws, where they all put her like as if she was in living in a valvet lap!! she doesnt herself, abide by the rules of Quran, Sunnah, Allah- what do you all say??
Re: for all married men, need your views...
It IS her haq...but unless they are really mistreating her and abusing her, she shouldn't prevent her husband from meeting his family and keep him away from his family.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
her inlaws treated her as their daughter... NOW??
Re: for all married men, need your views...
m not denying from her right, i AM a girl too :D i know!
Re: for all married men, need your views...
It is definitely her haq. But I think she is acting in an immature way. If her guy cant afford it at the moment, she should be patient.
I don't understand why some girls act like this, what if your own son would do that to you? sigh.
ok- well i know a couple, the girl is asking her husband to provide her a seperate home, saying, its even a sharai haq of a woman to have a seperate house, she doesnt want her husband to meet his parents, she wants to totally take him away out of his home, she cant tolerate the presence of anyone from her in-laws, where they all put her like as if she was in living in a valvet lap!! she doesnt herself, abide by the rules of Quran, Sunnah, Allah- what do you all say??
Do not sound reasons for divorce but surely she is looking for trouble at home.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
this is just ONE issue i brought to the forum... which some people may think is not a big issue.....keeping away a son from his mother, father, a bro from his brothers sisters, BUT there are a LOT more than that... anyways, i want your views..
Re: for all married men, need your views...
Trust and trust and trust. (Infidelity is part of it)
All other things seem secondary.
Once a partner of life loses it then it becomes hard to build it again. Having said that it is not impossible to remedy the lost trust.
Other reasons one might think of divorcing wife is not being able to have harmony at home and if she is the responsible person. Examples:
1- She is not willing to take care of basic house chores.
2- Not taking care of children
3-Confronting every reasonable need of the man.
4-Nagging/complaining for more despite having all necessary needs fulfilled and his best efforts to provide.
5- Teaching kids something against his wishes and not compromising on common ground.
Not letting him meet his relatives is not a ground. He must not be a man enough to resort to divorcing for that..... If she has problem with that she can ask for divorce. And he can go along with it.
Well, it is her right to have her own house/accomodation separate from the family if she so desires. However, if she's preventing him from meeting the family then that's wrong. If I were in his place, I would definitely consider divorcing her.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
I think she will have some BIG problems at home if she continues on this route. Her husband may love her right now but at some point he will begin to resent her for taking him away from his parents. If she is a mother, she should know how hard it is to lose your child. Her MIL gave birth to her husband and raised him. His wife married him after all the hard work was done and now wants complete control.
Im totally against nasty MILs but there are other ways to limit the interaction so its not intrusive. Separating her husband completely from his parents is just plain wrong!
She can have her own home and ask her husband to see his parents once a week or once every two weeks. This is something that should be discussed, not imposed.
By the same token, I wonder why she is so against her inlaws? Do you think something happened to make her that way?
Re: for all married men, need your views...
irreconcilable differernces.
divorce the biotch. Most desi men will divorce you if you ask for them not to meet his own parents. Lets face it girls... there are a million and one girls available for marriage but only one set of parents.
Re: for all married men, need your views...
May i humbly suggest before divorcing the 'biotch' the sahibzada finds out what the issue is. in some cases inlaws can be real twerps and she may have a solid reason to be away from people who are causing her stress and interfering in her married life.
infidelity is a big one.
breaking trust would be another big issue.
differences in expectations of lifestyle and inability to reach some mutually agreeable position is probably the most common one and it covers lifestyle, physical condition/grooming, interaction with family, finances, social life, views on religion/morals etc.
agree!
Re: for all married men, need your views...
looks to me some ppl here thinks the solution to every prob is divorce or ditching.
in marriage both partners hav to compromise.
Inlaws r a biggest reason of divorce n seperation not only in our culture but even in the west too.
the girls best bet is to compromise n handle things tactfuly even diplomatically if she has to.meanwhile keep convincing her husband in a good manner to hav their own place but to demand to leave parents completely is unrealistic and might repel her husband from her.however once they r separated she can slowly minimize the visits and interference from the inlaws but cutting the ties altogether is not that easy.one nice way to move out is to migrate to other country or just change the city on basis of job,kids future etc.
its late but i read this thread as 'married men need your wives'... :o