For a limited time only

Lifestyle Relationships
121

The situation is complicated enough if it's either of the two reasons you've mentioned. Just listing other possibilities.

The born leader , the only hope
122

Re: For a limited time only

Sehrysh and Cupcake you are assuming that the desi woman infact works the same hours as the man. This assumption is based on what exactly? Certainly not on recent demographic and employment figures.

Secondly cupcake it is about perception. It does not have to be acceptable. It doesn't have to make sense. It just is the way it is. Most men do not view their female cousins as women with a sexual needs. That is why men are dogs to other women but treat the sisters an mothers like Queens. Same principle applies here. Perception is the key.

missN

  1. Its because what goes on his mind is rather vulgar and crude. Certainly not what he would do or say to his wife. Reminds me of a Godfather quote. Where one of the guys says "he has a mistress to do the wrong stuff with. But for the mother of my children I have to be decent". Something to that affect.

  2. Yes.

  3. It means he is a normal desi man.

  4. It means he is gay.

123

Correction - it shows that women earn less in the same posts, but that they do work the same hours on average.

If you take into account average all of womanfolk around the world, you do not take into account unpaid labor - such as working in fields, growing crops, cleaning, cooking, and rearing young.

So, uh, yeah, we work the same hours.

We just don't have the shauk to strap on weapons and go around shooting people. That doesn't mean we don't work.

124

Re: For a limited time only

I am sorry but different work environments provide different levels of stress and different degrees of fatigue. But regardless, I am looking for the basis of that assumption that desi women do infact work equal or more hours than a man in a job that is equally stressing and demanding.

Recent Demographic and employment figures do not support this assumption.

125

Re: For a limited time only

Fruit Puff..........I acknowledge that not ALL men would have romantic feeling toward their cousins. But.....some do. I just disagree with your whole label of "asexual" and them "not being women." That's extreme......doesn't take into account all men.......and as said earlier....just because you're not attracted to a female......ANY FEMALE for that matter......doesn't mean she's not a woman.......or that you don't perceive her as a woman. It simply means you're not attracted to her.

By saying that "they're not female" kind of reduces the person to an object. Gender is more than just physical attributes.

Anyhow, forget it....we won't agree on the issue.

Temptation all around....
126

Re: For a limited time only

Again not reading what I have written. The woman could be a damn slut. But the generic perception would be that the close female cousin is considered an asexual being. While there are some who would love to sleep with the cousins, a good portion do not.

Perception is the key. If you do not agree with it that is your choice. But any guy that has a sister knows in a rough manner what I speak off.

127

So till now you guys were answering those question from a female perspective?

128

Re: For a limited time only

Here's a random but common scenario I've read about, CM. Now what's your take on this one?

Guy knows/can sense girl is interested in him. He implements (as you've mentioned already) the immature tactic of ignoring/avoiding girl.......treating her like the plague........to show that he's not interested in her.........as opposed to being straightforward. Guy just doesn't see girl in THAT way. Perhaps is not attracted to her. Girl naturally feels hurt (nobody, irrespective of gender likes to be ignored)........so out of respect for herself and in order to move on with her life...........she maintains a distance from him. She avoids him, doesn't talk as much before. NOW.........BOOM.........the guy starts paying more attention.......becomes flirtatious.

Now is this sudden change in behavior because the guy's ego has taken a hit by being ignored by girl??????? In other words.....I perceive this to be more of a "guy loves himself" issue more than him having genuine feelings for the girl. More like, "I'm a stud, how dare you stop paying attention to me........now I must find a way to validate my ego again."

Do explain this. What's up with the mixed signals? When I hear/read such examples.... I see the wishy-washy....lack of consistency .......as a lack of interest (a genuine one).

129

it isn't the guy being wishy washy or the interest not being genuine... the reason why he ignores the girl is because he is afraid that if he is open about his feelings, he'll get shot down.. so to avoid the rejection, he behaves in the aforementioned manner. and once one goes down that path, it's just a perpetual slide downward and applying logic to such a situation would be a futile exercise.

130

So you're saying that he's afraid of being shot down when he already knows that she likes him? In that case, there shouldn't be a fear of rejection? I could understand if he was afraid of being rejected....IF.......he wasn't sure that the girl was interested.

131

:rotfl:

132

huh? I don't see one must follow the other.

the guy might be completely oblivious to how the girl feels one way or the other... from his perspective, he behaves weirdly because he's afraid that he might get rejected if he was upfront with the girl... so, he dances around the issue...

anyway.... wtf am I doing in this girly thread being everyone's uncle... I'm going back to the cricket forum...

133

:D

So He is going on a picnic with Julia.....
134

So a wife cannot be "wrong" and "decent" at the same time? or do men just not appreciate "wrongness" coming from the mother of their children?

135

But the thread was started by uncles.

You saying they’re girly???

Ahahahahah :rotfl:

136

Re: For a limited time only

  1. Why do old farts flirt with young girls, and check them out in front of their wives? Or even a younger guy, checking out another girl like "mmmhhmmmm" when his girlfriend is right next to him?

  2. What's the best way to hurt a guy/crush his ego/make him cry?

  3. Whats the best way to not get attention from men (ie: clothing, frumpy look, etc.)

137

You keep up with this attitude (#2) and you dont have to worry about the 3rd question.

138

Re: For a limited time only

It's not like I'm gonn do it, I was just wondering

Have some faith in a sista

139

I can only speak to personal experience and the experiences of my girl friends and female colleagues. I don't have any stats to fall back on, but a large percentage of the women I know (about 40-50%) are more educated than their husbands, are professionally more successful, which in turn means that their careers are more stressful and demanding than the guy's and they make more money than their husbands.

Based on this, of course I expect that the husbands are going to pull their weight at home and not have the typical desi mindset of being waited on, hand and foot. I don't think it's right to emasculate the guy and say he become a househusband, but he should be supportive at home and make an effort to alleviate his wife's household workload.

On the other hand, I've got girl friends who are stay-at-home moms with nannies to help with the kids and the housework. For these girls, I expect them to be understanding of their husband's demanding careers - they shouldn't be doormats for their husbands but should enjoy their time together as a couple and as a family.

But alas, I think I'm being idealistic - based on the threads posted - there's seems to rarely be that middle ground and genuine partnership that comes not from splitting chores down the middle 50/50, but being supportive and ensuring that neither partner is overburdened or taken for granted in a relationship.

140

yes very…:slight_smile:

Woman contacting the man first