First of all leme clarify that by using the very controversial terms “FOBs” and “ABCDs” i mean no offense to anyone here or anywhere for that matter but i just couldnt come up with a more attention-catching AND short title for my thread 
So, without specifying whoz who here i just wanted to get ppl’s opinions bout the whole idea of a girl born and raised in Pakistan marrying a guy who was born and raised in the U.S.
I know its doable but only if they fall in love or something, but what if its totally an arranged thing btw the parents and the girl and the guy are given an opportunity to get to know each other thru phone conversations etc…
I mean what bout the fact that both were raised in completely different environments with completely different privileges (or none at all), different life experiences etc… and therefore have completely different lifestyles, attitudes, priorities etc… and even little things like the way they talk to other ppl or just their personalities in general are so different cuz of the different cultures they were raised around…
Oh n if in case ur confused, both guy and girl obviously have Pakistani parents but the guy only understands but doesnt speak any Urdu, and the girl can speak fluent English and Urdu obviously. Shes ben living in the U.S for a couple years.
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
controversial? prolly only bcos u used ABCDs otherwise FOB is a very fav word of many-many-many-ABCDs here on this board. :p
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
There are other topics in the world too you know
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
Its dooable seen it gazillions of times
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
yeah....im an CBCD..and my hubby is a "ref"..same goes with all my siblings and practically all my cousins....its a rare occasion that some CBCD cousin of mine gets engaged to some one born here in canada (outside family - i mean)...both my brother and cousin were once engaged to girls born and bred here in canada (outside family), but they never worked out and hence the engagement was broken.....me and my hubby are doing great (masha allah)..although my sister has some problems (thanks to her "cant take the gaon from the guy" thinking)....
i think its more easy for a couple if the girl came from pakistan rather than vice versa...
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
Im with Sadz
I can give you names and addresses of peopel who have gone to paks and got married to someone whom they never until the wedding
and are perfectly happy
Im sure they'll be happy for you to interview them
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
it depends really becuz sometimes it works out perfect and some time it brakes BIG TIME!!!!!!!
btw why only ABCD's this happens to EBCD's also
anyway ure right meaa even though they both be pakistaniz its kinda hard to live together as you explained diff societys,environement,lifestyle, et......
and the desi from pak will be shocked after coming in the west and seeing his partner his attitude his social life his way of living and da western born desi wil be shoked wid de pak desi attitud emeaning the way he/she are abit retarted they way they find evrything wrong in da western lifestyle and they way they have a problem with your lifestyle(guy from pak wouldnt want his wife to hang wid guys or work or stay out late or maybe even meet her female friends & da gal from pak wouldnt want her hubby anywher near females and not coming home kahin raton thak or da usual stuff)
so its hard for both to accept each other the way they are and live happily unless kissi kismat achi ho
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
FOB's think women are awaara down here and out of control. I think it works more with guys marrying girls from Pak more then girls marrying guys from their, but their are always exeptions.
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
I've seen most marriages work out just fine
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
i believe women from pak find it easier to adjust in abroad ... men might face some difficulties...careful considerations should be taken before actually making this decision like education, idealogies etc
.........but then again, its just my opinion !
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
how would it be different? girls are more flexible? or ?? please explain.
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
ABCDs are for sportfking only, but make terrible spouses.
--dope
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
c'mon dopey, dont be rude.
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
And who better to talk about virgins than the queen virgin herself :)
Dan, it's true. Remember, that includes me, too. I said spouses, not wives or husbands.
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
Hahahaha, Queen Virgin? What does that make me? Mother Theresa? 
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
well...if the guy comes to live abroad...he woudl have to start from scratch...find a job, maybe even go back to school, find a place to live, car...all along supporting his wife....even if the wife works (like me!) its still hard...trust me, i am in this situation...its not a picnic.....
but if the girl comes to live abroad...usually her hubby is already settled, has a job, a place to stay (separate or with parents)...and the girl doesnt have to work (if she wants to) or go to school..her choice....thats my brothers and their wives....lucky girls....
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
My mother has the same view - that girls from Pakistan/India can adjust better to life in the west than men can.
Part of it is the gender positioning. Women are more empowered in the west and men less empowered. It makes it easier for women to fit in to the the west , because they gain ego, but men lose ego.
My mum takes it further - she has her Golden Rule of not marrying girls raised in the West to guys from Back Home.
Re: FOBs marrying ABCDs
Part of it is the gender positioning. Women are more empowered in the west and men less empowered. It makes it easier for women to fit in to the the west , because they gain ego, but men lose ego.
My mum takes it further - she has her Golden Rule of not marrying girls raised in the West to guys from Back Home.
Your mom is one intelligent woman. Good post.