First wife's permission

Society Religion & Philosophy
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Re: First wife's permission

I would look these up for sure IA.

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Re: First wife's permission

but there has to be a reason why they n*eed t*o marry the second time, no? Marriage isn't a simple game! It's a huge responsibility. Unless they don't have a solid reason for marrying the second time ..why would they get into 'double trouble' all over again :p People in need of psychotherapy however are everywhere. It isn't about following Islam only.

And if they have fallen out of love or are tired of their first wife...it's better not to cheat on her and at the same time have full responsibility of what they are doing and marry the other woman by announcing her as his sole responsibility. Itna asaan to nahi hai.

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Re: First wife's permission

Sautan bhi kuch soch samajh ker he phir shadi kerti haina. Nobody wants to be the 'second' option unless they have a very valid reason to be so :D

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Re: First wife's permission

So then a woman in a troubled marriage should have a way out too similar to this one.. :p

why does she need to go through all the trouble to get khula and all yet he can simply marry another woman without even having to inform her.

CRUEL CRUEL CRUEL..

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Re: First wife's permission

A woman just has to go through the khulla process! A man has to live with another woman for all his life. Kharchay and more responsibilities and more bachay. :p At least this way the world knows he was very desperate and he has to face some amount of ridicule too and possibly taanay all his life..pehli biwi k sath bhi aise kerte thay and us ka to kheyal hoga mera nahi hai and a string of other complaints :D

At least that way he isn't just fooling around with some other woman and yet outwardly living in the same loveless marriage.

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Re: First wife’s permission

A troubled woman has the way out too. Only the way out in the form of khulla gives her ample time to THINK and rethink that her decision was not entirely emotional/hormonal or hasty and when she is sure she can get herself out of this mess. 4 months of *iddat *aren’t a long time to wait and come out of the horrors of the past. unless she is *that *desperate to marry again :hehe: And if she is pregnant at the time of divorce the husband has full responsibility of the child as well as his ex wife too until its birth and also later on as the child’s biological father. Again much, much *better *than illegal abortions, abandoned kids and unwanted kids being chucked off to orphanages !

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Re: First wife's permission

I understand where you are coming from, but the thing is there are men out there who marry another woman because that woman can't find a suitable husband for whatever reason. Or just because the husband liked another woman - it doesn't necessarily mean they have fallen out of love with the first wife or there is something else that is lacking in that relationship.

As a whole, it is obvious that most men cannot handle a second wife and Islam imposes strict rulings when it comes to a subsequent marriage, like fair treatment, etc. But this is a whole different topic.

The bottom line is that the husband does not need to obtain permission from the wife, and neither does he need to inform his wife. (Unless there is some authentic Islamic source to prove otherwise). :)

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Re: First wife’s permission

**Peace,

I would like to remind you guyz this is not Life1 forum where you can talk about soutaan, taany, kharacha, what will happen to men or women after second or third marriage etc etc. This is religious forum and if you would like to share then please share it with references i.e. From Holy Qur’an and/or Sunnah.

And please stick to OP’s question.

:jazak:**

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Re: First wife's permission

point noted LKK :)

Please could you provide us with any hadith or ayaat about not needing permission from the first wife or the ruling on informing the first wife in order to remarry. I have heard about informing the wife but I can't seem to find any hadith so far

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Re: First wife’s permission

Peace Enigmatic,

I read your comments at post #11 . You said ‘he needs to inform his wife’, but when Mirch asked for reference at post 15, so far you didn’t provided any references. What I would like to say when we talk about any issues related to our religion then we talk about it on the basis of references i.e. from Quran and/or Sunnah not i heard from such and such this or that.

Back to the point, Please refer to post # 12 (psyah’s comment) in this thread Click_Here.

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Re: First wife’s permission

Let’s see how she feels when he goes for number 3 :hehe:!

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Re: First wife’s permission

I have heard it from quite a few number of people who are far more well versed in Quran and Sunnah than I am, that you should inform the first wife but I haven’t found the right hadith so far. I also remember a lecture given by Dr. Israr Ahmad where he said that a man should inform his wife at least but he does not need permission to remarry. The reasons he mentioned were:

  1. Any marital contract needs to be made public and announced as is deemed preferable under the eyes of Allah. The husband and wife are a garment for each other (i.e each other’s confidante) so shouldn’t such big decision should be at least told to the first wife primarily as marriage is something encouraged to be announced with witnesses and celebrated as per Sunnah?

  2. Allah says in Surah 4 Verse 3 And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two or three or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife, or marry those who have fallen in your possession.

Justice comes from honesty and truth. How is a man being just to his first wife if he’s marrying another woman, is going to provide for her financially, might even want to keep her in the same place or find a separate and suitable accomodation without informing his first wife of the entire arrangement before marriage? Thus the need to inform first wife before getting married.

But so far am unable to find a Hadith to prove that informing is essential. Hope that clears my stance or the fact that I was posting irrelevant statements without researching into it. :slight_smile:

Am also sorry if any of my posts above seemed irrelevant. They might not have contained any quoted reference but it was a mere attempt to express my opinion on how I find polygamy to be justified and not discriminatory or cruel against women.

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JazakAllah for the link too :)

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Re: First wife's permission

Peace Enigmatic,

The verse 4:3 speaks about the conditional clause about orphans, introducing the rule about marriage. This reminds us of the immediate occasion of the promulgation of this verse. It was after 'Uhud', when the Muslim community was left with many orphans and widows, and some captives of war. Their treatment was to be governed by principles of the greatest humanity and equity. The occasion is past, but the principles remain. Marry the orphans if you are quite sure that you will in that way protect their interests and their property, with perfect justice to them and to your own dependants if you have any. If not, make other arrangments for the orphans.

Same verse explained more, the unrestricted number of wives of the 'Time of Ignorance' was now strictly limited to a maximum of four, provided you could treat them with perfect equality, in material things as well as in affection and immaterial things. As this condition is most difficult to fulfil, I understand the recommendation to be towards monogamy.

I'll check if I can find more details from my notes/books.

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Re: First wife’s permission

Refer to post # 3 I provided you reference from Quran. When Allah has permitted it then you do not need any permission. Allah’s permission has just one condition , “but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one”

Here is more detailed answer:
http://www.islamawareness.net/Marriage/fatwa_05.html

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I agree totally. People this day n age focus more on the fact that we re allowed to marry 4 times but they always intentionally neglect the rules and duties .. I.e. the consequences. When neglecting ..that's when its too late..that ok for the time being you were in love n everything.. but having more than one wife..just becomes a burden cos the era we live in moves at light speed and we have more duties and less time...and at the end your life collapses.

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I truly, truly wonder which wives, and under what circumstances, give their husband's permission to remarry while they are still married too?

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:konfused:
A woman doesn’t have to live with her husband all HER life? Why do you make it seem like that a woman is nothing more than a good pet? She could be in a loveless marriage too. She should be able to marry another man too and keep cooking for both of them. Why doesn’t the world care what a woman goes through? It’s ok for her to stay in a loveless marriage or ASK for khulla yet a man can just get another wife making the first one a prisoner in her own home. Great logic!

What if this happens to you, Enigmatic?

what if your husband one day marries another woman without even informing you of his intentions and just tells you it’s his religious right? Why does it all of a sudden make sense just because it’s “religiously” allowed?

The fact that polygamy is even permitted actually leads to more extra marital affairs. A man would never stop checking out a woman he’s interested in and would even take the initiative to get to know her because there’s a law that allows him to marry her and there are no serious consequences other than just some tanay idhar udhar. Could you really compare that to the emotions of a woman who now feels completely worthless?

This is unbelievable. logic really goes out the window when religion comes in the picture. People make all kinds of excuses for something that is so obviously IMMORAL!

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Re: First wife's permission

I can think of one a few situations.
1. She is not able to conceive.
2. She is so sick or handicapped that she cannot perform wifely duties and take care of the kids and husband.
3. They are so rich that she does not care if he has one or four wives.
4. For some reasons he wants a divorce and she wants to stay in marriage for sake of kids , her insecurities etc.

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Re: First wife's permission

Plenty of Arab women....