I was talking to some friends today about second marriages. I always believed that the first wife does not need to give her permission if her husband was to remarry. My reason is that it’s a right given to a man in Islam, thus he does not need to obtain permission from the first wife.
However, I was outnumbered because the other friends believed that a second marriage cannot take place without the permission of the first wife. One of them said it was a cultural thing that the man does not need to obtain permission. I always believed it was Islamically justified.
The verses of Quran which permit polygamy do not have this restriction
"If you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two or three or four; but if you fear
that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one" (Quran
4:3).
There is no hadees to indicate that a husband needs second wife's permission.
in Islam, nikaah MUST not be kept secret…and that’s why we are supposed to have a walima to announce the wedding. this is why family, friends and associates be told and the society knows about it.
in Islam, nikaah MUST not be kept secret...and that's why we are supposed to have a walima to announce the wedding. this is why family, friends and associates be told and the society knows about it.
That is why we have witnesses to witness the nikah. Walima is not obligatory , it is just a way of celebrating a happy occasion with your friends and family, and if the first wife is happy with this nikah , invite her to the walima otherwise if she is not happy be ready for third world war. :)
Good point KKF. But I was asking about whether or not the husband needs to inform his first wife** before** he marries the second wife.
He is under no obligation to do so. But if he wants to practice polygamy in this day and age , it is very important that his first wife and he are both ok with it and she is ready to share his love and attention. Otherwise both of his marriages will be sour and his life will be a living hell.
That is why we have witnesses to witness the nikah. Walima is not obligatory , it is just a way of celebrating a happy occasion with your friends and family, and if the first wife is happy with this nikah , invite her to the walima otherwise if she is not happy be ready for third world war. :)
this is the ceremony at the bridegroom's place. the nikah is done at bride's home which may be in another city. walima is a sunnat-e-taakeedi. this is how a man announces his wedding in his community.
Theorist is right, he needs to inform her first wife first. Then it's up to the wife that if she isn't in favor of this or doesn't want to remain married to the person because of that very reason she can choose to leave him or ask for divorce.
Polygamy is permitted in Islam but comes with some very important rules the most important one being able to bring complete justice and equal treatment to all his wives. Which of course is rarely possible. Most of us choose to forego these rules and argue over why polygamy is allowed in Islam. It's unfair to the woman. I think it isn't. For one if one's husband truly loves her and is happy with her, he wouldn't go marry someone else. Because marrying someone comes with a lifetime of financial, phsyical and emotional responsibilities, committment and fair treatment. This is a much more difficult route to follow as compared to staying in a monogamous loveless marriage and having extramarital affairs and mistresses. It makes so much sense to me. Although maybe a year or two back I used to think this Islamic ruling was pure injustice and cruel :p
Yes you are right , but none of those dawats or parties are obligatory , only ejab and qabool and witnesses are obligatory. If someone cannot afford to have any kind of party , they still can get married and live happily ever after.
Theorist is right, he needs to inform her first wife first. Then it's up to the wife that if she isn't in favor of this or doesn't want to remain married to the person because of that very reason she can choose to leave him or ask for divorce.
Do you have any evidence from Quran , sunnant or hadees for this ? I will be obliged if you can provide any authentic source for this ruling.
^ yeah, of course a woman's feelings are not to be taken in any consideration. This is very important that the man who's about to bring a sautan on her remains insensitive. warna shadi kesay hogi?
fairness is a perspective. What is unfair to the first wife is totally fair to the second one.
Very true. People argue over polygamy being an unfair and discrimantory ruling. But I think it's the respectable way out for any woman who thinks she's undergoing unfair treatment and is not ok with that.
for the replies. I will report this back to them in the morning. I knew I was right, lol.