Re: Financially supporting family ‘back home’
Sara, I’m not saying force them into remarrying, not at all. What I’m on about is (and I have a close family member who sadly went through it until she left home and noone now knows where she is) when some families say ‘we can afford to keep our daughter/sister kismet gave her a husband and took him off her she cannot remarry, because we can afford to keep her because her brother is abroad’. There exact words were (translated into english as my urdu english is very poor) ‘your brother sends us 50,000 Rupees a month now, we’ll let him know he needs to send 60,000 from now on because you will not be remarrying, he can afford to keep you’.
No, that’s out of order. Noone can expect a brother, cousin etc to take on the responsibility of another person especially if they are being backed into a corner and made to take a decision they are only doing for financial reasons. Even if the brother at the time says oh, I’ll support her, how long will the support carry on for?
I’m saying this from the point of view of being there and witnessing it, I too had family who said to my mum, don’t remarry we can afford to keep you blah blah blah it doesn’t work like that. That person becomes a burden for no reason but the fact there family says they can afford to keep them.
I hope that makes it clear, these are my opinions and yours are of course yours. I’m not in favour of forcing people to remarry, if they are happy being a divorcee/widow and not remarrying good on them. But they should think about where there financial support will come from.