Before marriage, how many of you married folks had a discussion with your spouse about finances and how they would be managed. Any guy I’ve spoken to (well, most I think), I asked about finances and how they manage their money. I’m glad, because I found things from discussions that I found disturbing, and it was enough for me to not regret those relationships going down the drain.
I don’t see desi families really bringing up these topics during rishtaa talks, but then again, I have only been to two of them. None of these core topics were raised.
firstly, parents dont need to get involved in regards to how the couple should manage their finances. Even if the couple is going to be living with the inlaws.... the guy should discuss it with the future wife to be.
We did discuss things... not a lot though. And everything worked out
Its a gender based thing. My parents worry about their daughters being well provided for once they leave the home. They worry about the small things so their daughters do not suffer undue stress and pressure.
Guys once earning, its kinda their money and they can do what they wish with it. Advise is given but if you are old enough to earn money and hold a steady job you are old enough to be financially responsible.
I will be handing my entire paycheck to my mom every week. She can distribute it as she sees fit. And yeah, I’m not comfortable with you working, because you want to be a good mom, right? Oh your pocket money? Oh well, I’ll let my mom decide.
Yeah, I’m trying to get a job…I just want to work from home. I just want to set up something so I can get a 2000 dollar paycheck every month. Why? Well, I want to spend 15 hours of the day in ibaadat in the masjid, woman! You can’t earn that sawaab if you have an actual job!
I don’t want you to work. I’ll work. Pocket money? Paying off your education loans? What?
I do a lot of business. I go on business trips all the time. You wanna meet up in a hotel? What? My income. Income shincome, its all fine baby!
I guess I’m the only one constantly running into retards.
I wish i had spoken to my hubby about finances before, not that he’s bad at managing them, quite the opposite in fact, but i do begrudge having all my salary going towards “future planning”
I know its for both of us, but i liked to splash out on myself and my immediate family( too often for his liking i think), the reason i don’t talk it over is because it will just end in a bitter and twisted feud with the main content bieng im greedy and i want all my money!! i know i know its just not worth rocking the boat for.
ALthough he’s not tight, he’s certainly not as genorous as me, and i wish i had made that clear before we got married
Yeah we have lets jsut say we are both very open handed with my money one of us gota comprise dont know which one but we will plus we know that in the near future we are going to be moving houses maybe countries so we do neeed our money saved
We never discussed salaries or finances, he lived abroad by himself so there was no need to ask in whose hand the paycheck goes.
All that we asked was what his profession was, dind't ask how much he made.
He did ask me if I wanted to work and that he would be happier if I worked rather than stayed home.
Interesting how there is no subject matter related contribution from you in this thread but you found it necessary to launch a personal attack.
Perhaps one can wonder why you would do this.....
you don't need to wonder. i can tell you why. these days all i seem to read in life1 is PCG attacking men, usually pakistani men. she makes lovely posts alluding to people's husbands being inbred. if all the men she meets are 'retards' there has to be a common factor.
When I talked to my wife (at that time wife to be) during our rishta thingie was in progress, I told her about pretty much everything and anything form may Pay, bonuses, amount that I sent to parents to rent and car installments, from food, cloths to shoes to amount I used to pay to buy cricket matches on Dish. Bottom line, I came up with the X$ that I was able to save every month at that time and her first reply was "acha, we will do better together" :)
Before marriage, how many of you married folks had a discussion with your spouse about finances and how they would be managed.
finance talks?! are you kidding me?
I was not the smart one - or perhaps not being smart was actually a smart choice in disguise! LOL
We had no discussion what so ever on what role finances would play in our lives.
We did not even discuss the contributions.
We did not discuss how much he made and neither did he ask me how much I made.
It was just understood that we would just be together. Ummmm - lol - seriously it was just understood that we would be together (that could mean that we did not worry about who would feed us, cloth us, pay our rent, the entertainment expense, car etc.)
It was just understood that things will just "come" if we continue to do whatever we do right now to make our living.
If we had discussed finances before - then it would sure have put either one of us in the "greedy" category even though that's NOT how either one of us are. Sometimes discussing finances also - makes you - or "prepares" you to not only commit but to EXPECT.
The EXPECTATION part is where the marriages fall apart. I am just glad neither one of us came in with an expectation - we just did our own thing we did before marriage and somehow continued and "married the finances" as a bonus with marriage.
IMO, couples should just touch upon this topic lightly because the future is not in their hands. Also when some go the whole 100 yards, it leads to fighting/bickering etc.. I asked my fiance about money in general, she said there should be enough to live a simple life. Well, I understand where she comes from and she understands me. So no more discussion needed!
its just not worth rocking the boat for.