For those who are happily married in the states or uk, do you wives contribute financially? It bothers me to do so, i cant help the feeling that i should not contribute, because I am the wife and God gave me the right.
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Seriously? If you have that kind of attitude it really is a problem. What is the big deal in helping/contributing if your husband requires it? At the end of the day it's YOUR home too (I presume you are referring to a mortgage, bills, groceries etc). What are you going to achieve by hoarding your income? Our nikkah is done and, while hubby doesn't let me pay for anything (when we go out etc), I honestly wouldn't mind contributing because at the end of the day it would be beneficial for me too. I would never want to overburden my hubby if he needed my assistance whether it be with a mortgage or household expenses. Don't make a big deal out of something that isn't.
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Thank you.. I guess I needed to hear that
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^ Sorry didn't mean to be harsh. But honestly there is nothing wrong with contributing. I can't imagine that there are too many households out there that are able to live in luxury on one income only- it's not feasible these days. And if you are able to ease the burden on your husband, why not? This will in turn hopefully make him appreciate you and your contribution more.
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You don't have to contribute financially BUT
There's two ways to look at this
A) Its your money and you should be able to do what you please with it. He should not be asking you to help him do something that is entirely his responsibility according to Islam. However, Allah swt has not said you cannot help your husband if he needs it.
B) You're financially capable and independent. Women who can hold their own can also command a certain level of respect in a man because he knows she doesn't need him. You're also his wife. His struggle is your struggle. If you shrug your shoulders and say "not my problem" he will do the same when you need him to step out of his comfort zone to help you. This is where kindness comes in and you do things for each other because you're on the same team.
Hopefully, he's also being wise about how the money is allotted and used.
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Desi girls, please remember... Husband is NOT an ATM machine!
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The OP has no clue to the financial realities of the world if they think one income will do. We nearly went into an economic situation worse than the Great Depression had the Fed not put money into AIG/Lehmann Brothers. Please educate yourself. There are ivy league laweyers and MBAs going jobless right now.
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I think its great if you can go out and work so that you can also contribute to certain expences that would effect the BOTH of you. And if he has asked you to help him out then I'm sure he has only take that step since he is desperate. So what's the big issue if you can help him out? How would you like it if you were the only one responsible for ALL expences whilst hubby sat around chilling? I'm sure you wouldn't like it, so I guess just suck it up and help him out. I'm sure it wont be forever.
Plus I am definetly planning on working after marriage, if you want all the beautiful things in life then how can you possibly expect to gain them from one meagre wage?
Yap..i am all up for taking care of a girl without any expectation financially…but dont think of us as atm machine either.
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You are right, give him 5$, next day it will be 500 and then 5000 and so on. Keep the leesh on, or he will exploit you to no end.
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Of all the Islamic rulings about a husband-wife relationship, rights and responsibilities, the only one remembered by women is holding the men responsible for the finances. Sweet.
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I'm married and my husband has been hinting that I should work now. I was all for keeping a middle class lifestyle. smaller apartment less vacations and no luxuries for a few years till my baby was a little bigger school going age perhaps. (After that i planned on working full time). but my husband wants a better life now. I see his point though. Life could be financially more stable if i were to pitch in.
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Men start being careless if you chip in... My money is going in a saving account for emergency. Not paying a dime! What's the point of him marrying if he cannot afford his wife and his unborn kids... Larkay ko khudaar hona chayeh... Therefore, I am expected to cook good and keep the home tidy.
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Some of you ladies sound very selfish. The only time a woman should keep a separate account if her husband is a gold digger kind of mentality.
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Helping him out because he needs it...I understand. You contributing to finances out of your own will/desire...I understand. You being pressured/required to contribute financially when there isn't a pressing need and for things that are his responsibility....does not sit well with me. So, my stance is along the same lines as Reha....and I also agree with Xtron....as well Bombshellbabe's point about men being khuddar.
If Allah Himself has not made it farz upon the wife to work......then seriously who the hell are we to call a woman selfish for not doing so?
Selfish, in my opinion, is a woman who doesn't fulfill her responsibilities in the marriage and wants to sit on her butt doing squat. Selfish, in my opinion, is a woman who refuses to help her husband when there's a pressing need. I don't understand why it's being assumed that OP treats her husband like an ATM-machine or that she's selfish...when her post has not provided us with details that would indisputably lead to such a conclusion. Now, if her other threads do provide missing details, I have not read them. But I'm amazed at some of the attitudes here.
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Sorry RV, I don't agree with your post. For me a woman is selfish if she can't share her money with her husband and children. Husbands are not ATM machines that we will them 24/7 and construct an empire with my money that can't be shared with the family.
Well Allah has asked a lot of things from both men and women and everyday we let go of those commandments, so why make Allah an excuse when it comes to women sharing her money.
Yes, take care of your money if your husband your husband is taking disadvantage of you and your money. If you have khuddar husband, then become a khuddar person yourself too. Sorry if I come across too harsh. But that is just my two cents.
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Of all the Islamic rulings about a husband-wife relationship, rights and responsibilities, the only one remembered by women is holding the men responsible for the finances. Sweet.
Spot on and the rest of the things they don't even know.
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For those who are happily married in the states or uk, do you wives contribute financially? It bothers me to do so, i cant help the feeling that i should not contribute, because I am the wife and God gave me the right.
yes. your money is only yours. No question about it.
My experience say, if women can hold on her money it only provide 2 separate circle of finance in side the house. husband does his circus, still at end of they day, its woman who would have the power so whole family and her kid don't starve.
More husband argue or wants more wife need to hold on.
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Finances
My hubby pays majority of the household expenses rent utilities car insurance mobile bills etc etc I pay the council tax and sky/landline bill. We manage on his wage and save some of his while mine i can save spend how i like. It has to be a team effort. Oh and we both work full time and i dont ask hubby to contribute towards housework but sometimes if im back late its nice to see that breakfast dishes are washed or clothes are put out to dry. I think the whole im a man i only earn u sit and do nothing or a woman thinkjng she should hide her income is kind of old fashioned.
I dont feel the need to tell anyone what i earn or do with it. Ladies put it this way god forbid your hubby cant work tmmrw for whatever reasons will u still think the same? My money is mine only?