Finally I am single again…I dun know if u ppl remember i shared my story with u all about my bf verbally abusing me and everytime he gets out of it by a single sorry…and every one of u replied to just leave him…which took me quiet a while to even realize that I should leave him…things went really dirty…he slapped me…and then there I was standing numb just thinking that there were many people in my lyf who warned me that this could happen as this is the step 2 after verbal abuse…but I was fighting to save our 6 year old relationship…all i got was this…I know I was wrong…anyway its too disturbing to even think about it…
Now the point is…that this phase of overcoming all this is hell lot of painful for me…for sure i dun feel lyk goin bak to sucha DOG…not even 0.5%( he is begging and crying but who cares!) still there are so many things worrying me…like will I be able to live with some other man? its not even 15 days and my family is looking rishtas for me…some of my friends say you’ll be able to forget him only when someone else enters ur lyf… I just dont get this…and I dont even know that the other man will keep me happy or not…I know I am getting too negative at the moment…I cannot even think of someone else right now…but is this true that we girls tend to forget our past if this happens…His addiction is haunting me…
May be i just wrote all this to bring it all out of my heart…
Re: Finally!
First of all I would like to commend you on exiting this relationship- it couldn't have been easy but it was definetly the best choice based on what you have written.
In terms of moving on, yes it will be difficult but not impossible. A close friend of mine dumped her jerk bf and was engaged to someone else within 2 weeks- yes it was hard for her but she was lucky that she had a lot of support from her friends and family and now MA she is really happy with the guy her parents chose for her.
My advice to you would be to distract yourself with other things so you dont have time to think about him. Do NOT answer his phone calls or reply to his texts and/or emails. Change your number if you have to.
And finally, be positive. IA you WILL find a perfect guy for you (or your parents will). Everything happens for a reason and if this ended, just think of it as something better is waiting for you.
Be it 6 years or 30 years, there’s no way anyone should get away with any kind of abuse. He’ll beg, he’ll call/txt/mail/follow you around..just dont give-in. Abuse usually never ends.
Inshallah there is someone better out there for you, have faith and stay strong.
p.s. 
Re: Finally!
Good for you for getting out...stay strong.
As for your thoughts on finding another man... since you said its been barely 2 weeks, the pain and wounds are still too fresh. Try not to get married too soon. Give yourself some time to get over it and move on with your life..
Re: Finally!
You listened to a bunch of people over the internet? You gotta be the dumbest broad on the face of the planet!
Re: Finally!
CM did i ever say that I listened to people over internet??? I said I DID NOT cared about what people said infact many people warned me...I continued to make this relationship work...and I wrote people in my lyf...n my lyf does not only contain people on internet...anyways this comment of yours was rude!
^That’s really helpful. :k: way to kick someone when they’re already down. Sound advice given by the majority of people on GS and in her personal life was ignored. Affairs of the heart are complex and the OP seem learned her lesson the hard way (like many people do). Better late than never.
Re: Finally!
Thnx princess..gina and sara...I already changed my num...I believe in Allah...and I think I was lucky that I saw his real face at earlier stage...my family is a great support!
Re: Finally!
Never mind red velvet...I hardly care...because I know my decision was right!
Re: Finally!
Good job!
My advice right now is not to get married quickly. Here is why:
If you were in love with him and gave him a lot of yourself...subconsciously...you will feel bitterness towards men a for a little while. (I did, and I was only married for a few months) You may not notice it but if you married right now, your married life would be very difficult because that man probably wont be carrying any baggage while you are still hurting from your relationship. He wont understand and you will become even more frustrated. Its a recipe for disaster.
Let your parents look but take some time for yourself and be ALONE. No bfs, fiances, husbands, prospects, etc. Let your pain dull down and get to a point where you dont think about this every single day. When you spend an entire day without thinking about him...you're in a good place.
Re: Finally!
Reha u r so right...at the moment I am hating every man I see...its like I cannot trust anyone...yes I wont be getting married soon as I have a year and a half till I graduate...I cant wait for that day reha when i wud not think abt him...I feel sick everytime he crosses my mind...thanx...
Now the point is...that this phase of overcoming all this is hell lot of painful for me....for sure i dun feel lyk goin bak to sucha DOG...not even 0.5%( he is begging and crying but who cares!) still there are so many things worrying me...like will I be able to live with some other man? its not even 15 days and my family is looking rishtas for me...some of my friends say you'll be able to forget him only when someone else enters ur lyf... I just dont get this...and I dont even know that the other man will keep me happy or not...I know I am getting too negative at the moment...I cannot even think of someone else right now...but is this true that we girls tend to forget our past if this happens...His addiction is haunting me... May be i just wrote all this to bring it all out of my heart...
I don't believe that the MAIN reason for you to get married should be to forget your ex. That's not fair to the next guy.
The reason that you're struggling with getting over your ex is because you had a 6 year relationship with him. That's a very long time. You mentioned in your post that you stayed with him because you were trying to "save" this 6-year-relationship. If your ex also cared about you and this 6 year relationship with the same sincerity.....he wouldn't be abusing you (verbally or physically) in the first place.
It's often the case that abusers are insecure and have control issues. They may offer frequent apologies to get you to stay with them. This is a form of control as well...especially when there's no improvement and things are only getting worse. So, if he does try to contact you in the future via phone, email, etc............don't respond at all. That's the first thing that you need to do. You acknowledge now that most of the people in your life were right about their warnings....and you've learned your lesson the hard way. It may take time for you to get over him....but you DO need to stay determined in the belief that it is over with him and you're not going back....and you're not going to get in touch with him if he contacts you.
If you're sure that you're not ready to get married yet, then talk to your parents about waiting some time before doing a rishta search. ****But set a limit for yourself. If you go through life thinking that you're still not over your ex......you won't be getting any younger........and rishta prospects over time will dwindle. So if you feel that you need a "break" to process everything........take one..........but don't make this break too long because that has consequences as well.
^I understand that one negative experience can be enough to make you fearful. But not all guys are like your ex. Think of the positive examples of guys in your family (such as your dad, uncles, male cousins/friend, husbands of your friends and cousins). Are they all abusive? Marriage is a gamble and doesn't come with guarantees..............which is why it's your responsibility to thoroughly investigate a potential rishta and to get to know the guy and his family. Also discuss the guy with your family....because the have greater experience and can guide you. Basically, don't rush things with a rishta, be careful....use your heart and your head (not just your heart).
^If you do meet someone nice........the shadi is not going to be set for the very next day/week/month. It's would take some time for it to take place....and this duration would allow you to get to know the guy better. You can even discuss your fears with your parents. They know that you've been through a lot. Explain to them that you'd like to get to know the guy for some time before making a decision. And when you get the chance to talk to guy himself....maybe you can bring this point up.
Re: Finally!
it will take time. and don't try to brush it away from your mind, it will always be a part of your life....but it's the past.
it will take time. and don't try to brush it away from your mind, it will always be a part of your life....but it's the past.
Agree.
If you think that you're going to "forget" about your ex....that's not possible because he was a part of your life. Even if wasn't abusive, you still can't forget him. Plus, we usually don't even forget people who were a part of our life for a much shorter period than that.
You can't forget...but you CAN "move on" and you owe it to yourself. It's not healthy to "forget" because then you'd be "forgetting" all the important lessons that you learned from that nightmare. Make those your lessons your strength in your efforts to move on.
redness larki aur bender meen koi to fa’rak hona cha’ey… ye kia ek branch chori dosri py latak gaeei…
i mean give it a break, breath some fresh air.. look around, some guy will come around.
ps: app ki baqi post meen baad meen parhoon ga 
Re: Finally!
Aap baqi post parhtay toh aap ko pata lagta...ke mujhe shadi nahi karni...but my family is searching rishtay for me! thts my main concern that i cannot imagine some other man at the moment!
Re: Finally!
Thanx red velvet for taking out time for me...I know its impossible to forget and that makes my heart sink...
like you cant over him??
tum larkion ka yahee malsa bari sheer ban ke relationship me enter hoti ho…
2 din meen biwi ki tarha sochny lagti ho,
I how ever think your family is doing the right thing… they mostly do 
Re: Finally!
2 din nahi the...6 saal the...anyways dont bother!
Good job!
My advice right now is not to get married quickly. Here is why:
If you were in love with him and gave him a lot of yourself...subconsciously...you will feel bitterness towards men a for a little while. (I did, and I was only married for a few months) You may not notice it but if you married right now, your married life would be very difficult because that man probably wont be carrying any baggage while you are still hurting from your relationship. He wont understand and you will become even more frustrated. Its a recipe for disaster.
Let your parents look but take some time for yourself and be ALONE. No bfs, fiances, husbands, prospects, etc. Let your pain dull down and get to a point where you dont think about this every single day. When you spend an entire day without thinking about him...you're in a good place.
Listen to her.