Despite my ordeal over the past few months over not having closure from this person, I finally got it yesterday. I did not get my answers as he was not willing to provide them and was actually quite cold (typical nature) but I spilled my thoughts anyhow…thoughts that I had held in since forever, it seems…and in some odd way, have gotten closure which I so desperately sought. I contact him to get answers but when he began avoiding the pertinent issues and started being the same typical way he had always been all along, well folks, that was my answer right there. The best answer of all. Sometimes, not getting answers even when you ask again and again, can be really wonderful.
Life is a great thing. You open chapters in your life and close them just as quickly…certainly if they need to be closed. Tonight, as I write this post, I feel like a weight of sorts has been lifted off my shoulders.
Closure is everything to some people. It relieves you of questions and thoughts that keep those gray cells active for no good reason yet it is somehow needed to be sought. My one piece of advice through this experience to you all is to be careful who you deal with. Get to know the person really well before it goes deeper than you want it to and never, never take anyone’s word for granted. There are plenty of users and losers out there.
Nothing against this person and again, I wish him the best in life but I am SO happy for myself that I can now get past this concern.
^It's not at all about where I am standing, it is about getting answers to questions and queries that I have had all along which I finally wanted to get answered. It is also about getting my true feelings out whether they were good or bad or a combination of the two. Questionable issues were once more all skirted and avoided by him with great care which gave me my final answer. I hate saying it this way but sometimes it is too much for certain guys to handle when they see a girl asking alot of questions over and over again about questionable concerns. However, they behave this way for the sole reason that they have something to hide.
KNow exactly what you mean...
when they act like a total prat... you just thank god you're not together!
it sure does give you a feeling that you've done the right thing...
Sweetpie, one thing I didnt understand: you perceive this to be a closure since cos he didnt answer any of ur concerns? He wasnt answering them in the first place right? And this last attempt by you didnt get him to talk ? How did you get closure? It is quite possible that he needed a breather and wanted to get away from you possibly cos he felt you were being too posessive? Maybe he just wanted to forget the whole thing and not be reminded from you? Are you sure you were not trying to get back with him?
5abi, I wouldn’t attempt to get back together with him if he came crawling back on all fours traveling the distance from where he is to where I live. There is absolutely no question about that.
Some people are like that…they want simple answers to questions that they have had all along but never got them aswered while trying repetitively. I am one of these individuals. However, as of yesterday, I have closed that chapter of my life now forever which until yesterday was still open, hoping for closure. And now having found closure, I can’t even begin to tell you how peaceful it feels inside. I have been craving closure, a sense of ending/finality, and now having found that, I definitely have great peace of mind regarding this issue.
haha, for once i agree with you. I know how it feels not to have closure, always wondering what u did, where u went wrong, what u can do to make it better. One minute there crazy in love with u, the next its like, what happened?? do i have a black spot on my face, wtf?!? Then i was like FCUK IT...not literally. Sweetpie, hes not worth it, hes really not, you'll get over it in a few months..u think its not easy to forget, but it is, you wont even REMEMBER.
Sweets...LK here...sorry haven't been around much for you..I needed some recharging too!
But gald to read this right here...makes me real happy gal...now when we talk I can talk to the smart confident lady we all know and love before all this junk happened.
well i can sympathize with you, I'm in a situation where I have no closure and I don't know where we stand...........he seems to want to hold on to me until he figures out somethings in his life........which has left me utterly confused and depressed........it's the worst feeling......
Did you ever try to ask the reason why he doesnt have any answer for your questions? or alwyas bin busy in the realm of ur own thoughts?
I have learnt something and wd like to share it with u “what ever means the world to you may not be anything for others” and u have to clerify it with your friends/partner. u see, ever tried to know how important were the questions from his perspective? n last but not least did u tell him abt the clouser?
anyways! welcome!!! you are back on the track and I hope you came out better than before and must have learnt positive things out of this relation. I wish you both have a better life now onward.
chodhry, the issues were attempted to be discussed with this person repetitively through the course of one year and although he had told me to ask any questions I may have regarding his past or anything else, whenever I would ask, he would close up or get really defensive. It was a dead end, which is never ever a good thing because even when you think that you can draw them out of their shells, you never do.
I appreciate everyone’s concern and support. I am definitely a better person for having gone through this experience and writing it out helps alot for me. I am close to 30 and it is about time I stopped being so naive and stepped out of my little bubble in order to begin looking at everyone differently instead of going with my gut each time and giving people chances when they are undeserving of them. I feel like a new person because of not only this situation but due to other things going on in my life at the moment.
