Mine is a love marriage. My husband has decided to be in his home country and got a good job here. so we live with his parents. we cannot be living in another house being in the same city, coz thats a social taboo in our society. so yes! and its not that i dont like them. i sincerely like them and respect them..
yup if my dad had said the same thing, i would have the liberty to tell him that "plz dont keep talking abt this.. i am already stressed and it would add to my worries".. i could also convey that i felt bad coz i felt i was being criticised or compared..
on the other hand would it be as fine if i commented on my fil's or mil's or even sister in law's weight gain or anything which they lack physically.. which def is normal if we talk abt my dad or my own family..
I don't know which reasons that can be. So could you explain?
You cant understand the reasons until you are in the same shoes..
Lets put it this way. You have a job that sucks which already bothers you a lot. and someone from your inlaws family - take mil, comments that why you do such a mediocre job. try to get a new job and let me refer you to some good consultancies.. see my son he tried so hard and now he has such a good job..
I can see that she is a caring mom thinking about her daughter.. would you be AS pleased hearing all this????
he offered to take you to the doctor, may be he was concerned for your health?
talk about blowing things out of proportion.
You cant understand the reasons until you are in the same shoes..
Lets put it this way. You have a job that sucks which already bothers you a lot. and someone from your inlaws family - take mil, comments that why you do such a mediocre job. try to get a new job and let me refer you to some good consultancies.. see my son he tried so hard and now he has such a good job..
I can see that she is a caring mom thinking about her daughter.. would you be AS pleased hearing all this????
My FIL who is usually very quite today commneted on why i am having so many pimples. i said i have no idea thr at times whn my skin gets haywire.. its not like i have cystic acne or something.. there are some of them which have left dark spots which def will take time to go..
he said tell me i ll take u to the doc.. he even said i shouldnt be saying this but bahot kharab lagra.. also compared me to mil. that see how well she take cares of herself even now.. even i do bt my skin is super sensitive.. and plus my mil is extremely fair and glowy and has been like this always, infact all her bros and sis are the same..
i dunno why but i felt bad,.. very bad! also because i ve battled acne all my teenage yrs.. developed inferiority complex only coz of that.. it took me years to overcome all that. and now living with such "only beauty conscious ppl" i am hurt.
my hubby doesnt say anything to me as such.. alhamdulilah! also my mom isnt very beautiful but never did my dad or my granddad comment on her beauty or anything. he always praises her tht she z the most gorgeous lady and all..
am i being irrational?
i m feeling really sad..
I have followed the thread for a while now and would like to post a respond and clarify a few points on your behalf. Though I don't know the inlaw dynamics of the things you stated however I can relate to being pointed out multiple times about acne by different people.
The issue is not who said it or why they did it (from concern or mockery) The main problem here is, someone pointed it out. Someone with acne problem already is quite self conscious for several reasons. First, it just doesn't go away so you know that you are stuck with it. Secondly if somehow you'll be able to control it would require lots of efforts on your part. And by control I don't mean its going to go away completely. You'll need makeup to cover it up.
So if someone (no matter who it is) says that you should get it treated, the first thought in my mind would be ...duh, don't i know that these scars or pimples don't look good on me and I would look much better without them.
Having said though you are not irrational in being sad about it (its only natural) at the same time he said that out of concern but stated the obvious. Elders do that all the times.
On a side note, do you have a diagnosis on whats' causing your acne?
I have followed the thread for a while now and would like to post a respond and clarify a few points on your behalf. Though I don't know the inlaw dynamics of the things you stated however I can relate to being pointed out multiple times about acne by different people.
The issue is not who said it or why they did it (from concern or mockery) The main problem here is, someone pointed it out. Someone with acne problem already is quite self conscious for several reasons. First, it just doesn't go away so you know that you are stuck with it. Secondly if somehow you'll be able to control it would require lots of efforts on your part. And by control I don't mean its going to go away completely. You'll need makeup to cover it up.
So if someone (no matter who it is) says that you should get it treated, the first thought in my mind would be ...duh, don't i know that these scars or pimples don't look good on me and I would look much better without them.
Having said though you are not irrational in being sad about it (its only natural) at the same time he said that out of concern but stated the obvious. Elders do that all the times.
On a side note, do you have a diagnosis on whats' causing your acne?
i agree. I am a bit curvy and my hubby's family is always commenting about it. His sister called me "moti"…. I am not even fat. They are all less than 100 lbs so they think everyone more than 100 lbs is just fat! Plus my FIL once said.. "don't sit on the chair with her.. it will break." MIL kept saying "do vacuum.. tumhara pait andar jayega" I don't even have a muffin top or belly. I have hips though. I am 5'4 and weigh 120 lbs which is normal for my height. hmmpphhh ignorance.
i agree. I am a bit curvy and my hubby's family is always commenting about it. His sister called me "moti"…. I am not even fat. They are all less than 100 lbs so they think everyone more than 100 lbs is just fat! Plus my FIL once said.. "don't sit on the chair with her.. it will break." MIL kept saying "do vacuum.. tumhara pait andar jayega" I don't even have a muffin top or belly. I have hips though. I am 5'4 and weigh 120 lbs which is normal for my height. hmmpphhh ignorance.
heheh I know. But my mom tells me that I am beautiful and they are just a bit jealous. But moms say nice things all the time lol. I just ignore them but sometimes it does upset me because I feel huge compared to them. But hubby is really nice and pokes fun at the if they say anything to me. poo and my hubby's sister's husband told me "a cow stepped on my foot when I accidentally stepped on his foot even though he is a 250 lb, tall man. heheh its quite funny though. I think they just need a laugh and I just wish it wanst at my expense.
heheh I know. But my mom tells me that I am beautiful and they are just a bit jealous. But moms say nice things all the time lol. I just ignore them but sometimes it does upset me because I feel huge compared to them. But hubby is really nice and pokes fun at the if they say anything to me. poo and my hubby's sister's husband told me "a cow stepped on my foot when I accidentally stepped on his foot even though he is a 250 lb, tall man. heheh its quite funny though. I think they just need a laugh and I just wish it wanst at my expense.