Hi All,
I live in the US, my Husband is in Saudia. I’ve applied for him for Spouse visa. We were married in August 2011. I’m still waiting for him to come to the US. Due to our long distance relationship we tend to end up in arguements on the phone. Because of the timeing difference and because I work, we talk on the weekends. My husband doesnt like that I work. And on several occasions has mentioned this. In the beinning I would argue saying that if you didnt want a wife that works you should have married a housewife, why did you choose me, we discussed this before our engagement. Since he would still bring it up, I started telling him, ok, I’ll quit and come live with you. When I say this, then he says no its good you work. A couple of times he has like indirectly mentioned, that women who work, have like scandels and affairs. He has said this about 4 times. The first time I cried and said that i have never cheated on you, and I just go to work to work. I dont flirt and I dress conservativly, I said that if I was that kind of girl I wouldn’t have gone to pakistan and gotten married. I would have found a boyfriend here and gotten married. He called my mom and said that oh you daughter said that she would have married her boyfriend in the US. Basically he said that I had affairs before. My mom said that Im a good girl and Im not that type. The other 2 times he mentioned this type of stuff, he said oh your mom yelled at me. I would say look if I said something about any of your female family members what would u say?On that he stays quite. Recently He again said that oh, after we have kids, you will stay at home, and not work. I said that we have discussed this so manytimes. and if you had an issue, why did you marry me. I told you from the beginning that I want to work. He said no girls flirt with guys and … I said thats it, I want a divorce, I can’t live where you continuously say these things to me. I was like I am going to cancel your visa. You ruined my life. If you wante to act like this you could have married a housewife, or a divorced lady. Why did you have to ruin my life. I said that your sister, had a love marrage. When we got married my whole family was involved. I said that your mother and your sisters must be doing things like this, and Hung up.
Basically he called me three times after that, he never said sorry, but in his own way he tried to make up. When I finaly forgave him. I said that the next time you mention somthing like this it will be very bad. Then he called me and cried saying that you said bad things about my mom. I said sorry, but at that time I was basically ending the whole thing. And if I said that about you you wouldn’t have cared.
Now he is like very hurt that I said things about his mom. But frankly speaking, Im human too. I told him that if I was characterless, I wouldnt have cared, but you are insulting me over and over. I said that obviously my parents have trust in me, they let me work, in my family a girl doing stupid things liek taht is very bad. In the end I told him that if you want me to quit fine, send me 1000 a month. I make 4000 a month, im only asking for 1000, and I will quit. But Then i cant give you affidavit of support.
Anyway, my question is that is there anyway to get overthis. I mean when I said those things, I was really just endign the relationship. because its the 4th time he has said stuff like that. And I work verylong hours, when he comes to the us I dont want him to question me like this if I come home late. I am a manager, and during our deadlines I work till like 12/1 a couple times a week.
