I got engaged more than a year ago. It was arranged rishta. We will get married in 2.5 years. We have a long engagement because of our education. We both are doing now bachelors.
In the last few months he never took the initiative to call me or message me. It was always me calling him or messaging him. Sometime he does not reply.
I talked to him about this and asked if there was anything wrong. He assured me that there was nothing.
It has been now more than a month I talked to him.
I messaged him two weeks back, he did not reply. A few days later I messaged him again, I messaged him that I will not call him or message him anymore because I have had it.
And he did not reply until now. It is frustrating me.
What should I do now? Should I contact him again?
Or leave it as it is? Or perhaps end this rishta (which will not be easy)
Re: fiancee
You need to find out why isn't he replying or ever willing to contact you first. There has to be a reason. Ending without knowing the reason isn't smart thing to do. Of course i'd be mad too if someone did that to me. But you are going to marry this guy so find out the reason he doesn't contact you.
Re: fiancee
I would say give it sometime without contacting him, i know u already mentioned that its already been a month and if nothing happens then so be it :k:
You need to find out why isn't he replying or ever willing to contact you first. There has to be a reason. Ending without knowing the reason isn't smart thing to do. Of course i'd be mad too if someone did that to me. But you are going to marry this guy so find out the reason he doesn't contact you.
How should I find it out when he is not replying.
And I am sure when he will reply he will say there is not anything and you get angry for no reason blah blah.I know this because this has happened earlier.
Re: fiancee
Can you speak to him face-to-faceand sort this out?
How should I find it out when he is not replying. And I am sure when he will reply he will say there is not anything and you get angry for no reason blah blah.I know this because this has happened earlier.
I have a friend who was in this situation. She would call/txt/email her fiancee. did everything but the guy refused to contact her very often. He was just that kind that believed in distance before marriage. He thought too much seeing each other or talking to each other would lead to things he didn't want to do. He just wanted to focus on studies and job. Guess what.. he married her, huge wedding, at times fought with his own family for her. MA she is very very happy now.
You could be in the similar situation.. maybe.
Leave the guy alone, maybe he is just not a phone person. Some people are not very talkative.
Leave the guy alone, maybe he is just not a phone person. Some people are not very talkative.
He can talk for hours
Re: fiancee
i can totally relate to this. i guess just wait and see. i agree, some people are just afraid of getting too close esp if they have a long gap b/w engagement and shadi...
just wait for a little while. give him taste of his own medicine. start avoiding him. make him miss you. he's used to your affection and attention. if he misses you, he would try contacting you too.
do this for a few weeks. if not working, you need to meet up and decide if there is a valid reason for him being so aloof. If its not working, in this condition, breaking off the rishta would then be better :)
but don't worry, IA everything would be fine :) some men are just like that.
Re: fiancee
Ok im sorry for being negative and saying this, but maybe he has somebody else? i mean you guys have been engaged for over a year, and not gonna marry till another 2 n a half years. Tht is a VERY long time. Why dont you go over to his house? If not by yourself take your parents? And have a face 2 face chat, If its not working out, im sorry but your gonna have to let it go...
Leave him alone he is busy. Some guys are goofs when it come to being romantic. I was one of those guys. She was the one who called then I could talk for hours. But I never had the stomach to pickup the phone and call her. He might be like me.
As long as he not being chummy with some other girl you should not worry too much about him not initiating or responding.
Re: fiancee
what did he say to u when he finally contacted u now? maybe he's just busy with uni work and really stressed although to be honest 1 month with no contact from him at all is a bit extreme.
do u live in different countries?
Re: fiancee
You can ask him if there is any reason why he is not communicating. Try not to overthink. Maybe he is still adjusting to being engaged.
Leave him alone he is busy. Some guys are goofs when it come to being romantic. I was one of those guys. She was the one who called then I could talk for hours. But I never had the stomach to pickup the phone and call her. He might be like me. As long as he not being chummy with some other girl you should not worry too much about him not initiating or responding.
ok no offence meant Mirch , if only you guys could be more sensitive to how insecure the poor girl could be feeling, just by the lack of your nerve to initiate and be romantic, then things wouldnt go downhill in the first place. :D
i have exactly the same issue with my fiance. he's usually busy at work. but even when he gets time, being his total cautious self, he avoids long conversations. although i know there's no other woman and he's quite happy. but STILL i need some sort of assurance that he does care :p
and when i question him he gets genuinely surprised and cant even understand why am i so upset :P arrrghh..men... :P:P
Re: fiancee
be a meanie ,dont talk:phati:
ok no offence meant Mirch , if only you guys could be more sensitive to how insecure the poor girl could be feeling, just by the lack of your nerve to initiate and be romantic, then things wouldnt go downhill in the first place. :D
i have exactly the same issue with my fiance. he's usually busy at work. but even when he gets time, being his total cautious self, he avoids long conversations. although i know there's no other woman and he's quite happy. but STILL i need some sort of assurance that he does care :p
and when i question him he gets genuinely surprised and cant even understand why am i so upset :P arrrghh..men... :P:P
That is what I am trying to say. He is shy and lacks the nerve to be romantic and take initiative . That should be your assurance that he is yours and he cannot ever have guts to initiate romance with someone else. :p
He can talk for hours
In that case, still take a break..... What you'll notice is pretty much all the guys "well normal ones at least" will say... that they need space. Has he been brought up in a very conservative home, does he have many friends, or is his course work really heavy. It maybe that he's a little shy, doesn't know what to say. There's a lot of questions... I would suggest you call him up, don't pester him. but ask, is he having second thoughts, or is he just waiting until after marriage.
Relax Mixed beauty, Just cause he doesn't like talking doesn't necessarily mean he's double dipping. Why is it that, that is the first thing that pops into a woman's mind. There are other issues in life too you know....
Re: fiancee
@Mirch NOT FAIR :P lol
is se behtar hai khud bhi chup ker k beth jao. and then see how much does that irritate him :D
Re: fiancee
**'In the last few months he never took the initiative to call me or message me. It was always me calling him or messaging him. Sometime he does not reply.'
It doesn't bode well................you need to share with your parents,,,,,,,,,,,if he isnt interested in you nOw wat will be 5 years after marriage.........?!! ****
Not a healthy situation at all..............be strong if he doesnt buck his ideas up, give him the boot or if ur in pak the jooothey!!! lOl Good Luck xxx
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