Re: Femininity
femininity: the trait of behaving in ways considered typical for women.
so, what is "typical" women behavior?
Since this is a desi forum, I think I should join the party too.
I guess bitc*hing about your inlaws, thinking about babies, doubting husband etc would be what we may call typical behaviour of women. If that makes anyone happy.
Re: Femininity
Since this is a desi forum, I think I should join the party too.
I guess bitc*hing about your inlaws, thinking about babies, doubting husband etc would be what we may call typical behaviour of women. If that makes anyone happy.
and girls in western culture dont do this? Only that they do it in "English" so it sound music to some people's ears.
Stop singling out "Desi girls". East or west, this is pretty much standard for women.
Re: Femininity
Haha Yeah I was thinking that sounds like common complaints from any married woman in the world..
Re: Femininity
and girls in western culture dont do this? Only that they do it in "English" so it sound music to some people's ears.
Stop singling out "Desi girls". East or west, this is pretty much standard for women.
Thats the point. If you wanna define femininity from the word 'typical', then you can easily paint every woman as a bitc*h. But if you really wanna take a classical take on defining femininity, then you can really identify the beauty in this phenomena. Its not about desi girls, or English sounding music to my ears, but I've seen femininity being defined and appreciated in Western literature and art so beautifully. Its all good if femininity in desi culture is all about throwing haye Allah that haye Allah this tantrums. I simply can't relate to this nonesense. Give me Shakespeare or Byron's feminine herione or study of Princess Diana's style and personality any day to appreciate (the classical Western interpretation of) femininity. As a women I'll naturally appreciate things that make women look extraordinary in a postive way not all clownish with balloon heads on their shoulders.
Re: Femininity
okay but I never said that why aesthetics can’t be for men or why can’t they be overly sensitive, I just see aesthetics as a feminine thing as you see sensitivity as a feminine thing.
Re: Femininity
The best example of femininity in Urdu/desi literature would be of "Asghari" from Nazir Ahmed's novel. She puts me off big time, not that I'm making fun of desi concepts of femininity but I believe in desi literature it's been always or mostly the men defining femininity and that's why you see this bias there.
Re: Femininity
The best example of femininity in Urdu/desi literature would be of "Asghari" from Nazir Ahmed's novel. She puts me off big time, not that I'm making fun of desi concepts of femininity but I believe in desi literature **it's been always or mostly the men defining femininity **and that's why you see this bias there.
Same is the case in Western Literature yet as a women I can say its done so beautifully in most cases.
Re: Femininity
The best example of femininity in Urdu/desi literature would be of "Asghari" from Nazir Ahmed's novel. She puts me off big time, not that I'm making fun of desi concepts of femininity but I believe in desi literature it's been always or mostly the men defining femininity and that's why you see this bias there.
hareem, every single society has highlighted one aspect of women more than other aspects. While you are talking about that Asghari-Akbari, dont forget another aspect that desi society highlights and thats the aspect of love, care and tenderness. Similarly, if western society on one side highlights the independence of women, on other hand it also paints working, independent and bold women as a b!tch!
Its not fair to compare +ive highlights of one society with -ive highlights of other
Re: Femininity
me too.
I am confuse. Do you like girls with attitude and nakhra .. or you are the "girl" with attitude and nakhra .. ^o)
Re: Femininity
hareem, every single society has highlighted one aspect of women more than other aspects. While you are talking about that Asghari-Akbari, dont forget another aspect that desi society highlights and thats the aspect of love, care and tenderness. Similarly, if western society on one side highlights the independence of women, on other hand it also paints working, independent and bold women as a b!tch!
Its not fair to compare +ive highlights of one society with -ive highlights of other
i'm not saying that i hated everything about "Asghari", the fact that she was able to cook and sew and organize was a plus point but other things like living with your whole susraal ka tabbar and suffering and still not standing for yourself, that's just sad.
and why i gave Asghari's example because this character is supposed to be the perfect model of how a woman should act.
Re: Femininity
i'm not saying that i hated everything about "Asghari", the fact that she was able to cook and sew and organize was a plus point but other things like living with your whole susraal ka tabbar and suffering and still not standing for yourself, that's just sad.
and why i gave Asghari's example because this character is supposed to be the perfect model of how a woman should act.
yeah but those days are gone. I am not sure if new generation even knows "asghari/akbari"
PS: by no mean I am saying that you are from past generation but... :D
Re: Femininity
i'm not saying that i hated everything about "Asghari", the fact that she was able to cook and sew and organize was a plus point but other things like living with your whole susraal ka tabbar and suffering and still not standing for yourself, that's just sad.
and why i gave Asghari's example because this character is supposed to be the perfect model of how a woman should act.
I label such character as Star Plus type girls .. and i hate them .. :) .. ..
everyone has his own priorities .. .. I am not kind a guy who will judge a girl or label girl "nice" or "bad" on the basis of that she knows how to do "khanadari" .. "ghar ka kaam" etc.
Re: Femininity
I think one of the ideas of femininity is the thinking that a woman can change a man's bad habits or change a bad character into a good one.
Re: Femininity
Thats the point. If you wanna define femininity from the word 'typical', then you can easily paint every woman as a bitc*h. But if you really wanna take a classical take on defining femininity, then you can really identify the beauty in this phenomena. Its not about desi girls, or English sounding music to my ears, but I've seen femininity being defined and appreciated in Western literature and art so beautifully. Its all good if femininity in desi culture is all about throwing haye Allah that haye Allah this tantrums. I simply can't relate to this nonesense. Give me Shakespeare or Byron's feminine herione or study of Princess Diana's style and personality any day to appreciate (the classical Western interpretation of) femininity. As a women I'll naturally appreciate things that make women look extraordinary in a postive way not all clownish with balloon heads on their shoulders.
Nope, femininty is desi culture is not all about being a dumb bimbo. Thats more of Hollywood style.
Shakespear's Juliat and Ruswa's Umrao both are extremely feminin and I don't see how Juliat's feminin allure is more appealing than Umroa's. Jane Austin's heroine's and Hassena Moin's ladies are also pretty compareable in this regard.
Princess Diana no doubt had great personality but if you take her early days as princess of Whales she was pretty shy, introvert only inches away from the dreaded pallo twist and haye allah stuff.
I have no doubt that you are well read in Eng art and lit but may I suggest that you read some of classical urdu writers as well such as Ismat Chugtai, Bano Qudsia, Quratulain Haider, Manto, Mumtaz mufti etc.
Re: Femininity
Nope, femininty is desi culture is not all about being a dumb bimbo. Thats more of Hollywood style. Shakespear's Juliat and Ruswa's Umrao both are extremely feminin and I don't see how Juliat's feminin allure is more appealing than Umroa's. Jane Austin's heroine's and Hassena Moin's ladies are also pretty compareable in this regard. Princess Diana no doubt had great personality but if you take her early days as princess of Whales she was pretty shy, introvert only inches away from the *dreaded pallo twist and haye allah stuff. * I have no doubt that you are well read in Eng art and lit but may I suggest that you read some of classical urdu writers as well such as Ismat Chugtai, Bano Qudsia, Quratulain Haider, Manto, Mumtaz mufti etc.
Diana Spencer was actually quite athletic, energetic and free spirited as a person, its her unhappy marriage and Royal pressure that made her look lot more fragile than she really was.
I'm sure there's so much to femininity in Urdu literature and culture in general than that haye Allah stuff, I'd be lying if I say wasn't looking for some respectable and classical desi take on it. Part of me was disppointed with commercially streyotypical and rather disrespectful haye Allah comments.