uzair1
October 23, 2011, 2:10pm
64
Re: Feminine Charms
Mind you, feminine wiles aren’t always premeditated. Some women don’t know how to relate to a man any other way. Factor in cultural/social conditioning (Cosmo’s 10-ways-to-drive-men-crazy lists). I wouldn’t confine the use of charm to one sex, and I’d also expand the definition to include kissing ass/flattery to achieve ends (common in the workplace). But yes, it’s true that most women don’t have to try. On planes somebody will always offer to lift my baggage into the overhead bin before I’ve even found my seat. It’s usually a white dude though. Desi males, the attractive beasts, will chew gum and watch me struggling with a 70 lb suitcase before falling over. They’re not being dicks, they just don’t want to give themselves a hernia.
Sure men employ charm. Strategically. The target has to be receptive though . Remember the scene in You’ve got Mail, where Tom flirts with the female cashier so she’ll agree to run Meg’s credit card in a cash-only line? He lowered his voice to a suggestive baritone, gave her that look, and smiled. It’s no secret flirtation works. Personal anecdotes include guys I’ve worked with who brought on the smolder because they wanted something (no, not that). Did I relent? No, but I enjoyed the show b/c women are sexual objectifiers too (look, if you’re working it, who am I to deny you an enthralled audience). Seduction ranges from the undiscernably subtle to the crude, and sexuality informs almost everything we do. It’s not a gender blind world.
As for patronizing instincts, that’s an interesting discussion. CM said something about self degradation earlier which I agree with. Yet upon closer inspection it’s the woman actively patronizing the man when she operates with the belief that his brain is not located in his skull. Yeah I think I just went there.
fewer women are receptive; to fewer men; in fewer situations.most women using their charms/seduction and engaging with men on *that *level is almost always an option. Its almost like a trump card. For men the risk is always there that it will backfire. So perhaps it wouldnt be wrong to treat this as a gender specific phenomenon.
I dont know if my choice of the word patronizing was appropriate or not, i actually meant men have an instinct to facilitate and sponsor women, notwithstanding the ulterior motive.