Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
Thnx Gr8heera for your guidance..Well he also wants that i should have to prepare myself to live alone in pakistan with his mom and dad bcoz he haf to do money saving in dubai . Therefore he cant afford my expenses in dubai.Thatswhy i m thinking that what kinda marriage is this if i have to live without him here in pakistan? Am i doing marriage jus to care for his parents ?
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
2) The second issue which my fiancee said to me that they have two houses .They gave one house at rent and in the second one his parents are living.He is himself living in Dubai and he is the only son of his parents.Now the condition of second house is extremely poor where his parents are living,even there is no attach bath with the room ( i.e design is like 100 yrs old ).He is forcing me to live in this house after marriage .As Far as my recent home is concern , i have a very big house MashaAllah and me and my sister have our own floor.So how will i adjust there??
I want to mention you people that its my love marriage and we know each other since 5 years.After a long love relation,he is not thinking abt my future.
so he will still be in Dubai after marriage? Where r u gonna be - in Pakistan?
Where do you live now?
Where did you guys meet for the past 5 years?
aaapki history pls... then we can help
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
NJMasti----------> Well 5 yrs before we met on internet .When i waz jus 15 and half years old .We had a great freindship.Then this friendship turned into love.At the begining he waz totally mad for me.After getting his job,he started fightings and making arguments.At that time i alwaz thought that it jus bcoz of his tiredness.But that time passed away .. After some years when i got admission in my engineering university ,then i said to him that please talk to your mom abt us but at that time he had nt a gud relation with his parents jus bcoz of their living standard . His parents donot like to live in the new house which is fully decorated and gave their new house at rent .That's y my fiancee alwayz fought wid them on such issues . Well then after getting his dubai job,he told his mom abt us ,jus before 2 days leaving karachi he sent his parents at my home and talked abt our rishta . Now we had our engagement jus before 6 months and these issues are started Now....
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
^ so you are in Pakistan now?
and... you never met in person? Only internet?
or you met over internet and then use to meet?
how old is your fiance?
Everything is sooooooo ummmmm not clear....
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
He is 27 years old ..Yeah we met wid each other when he waz in pakistan but now he is in Dubai datzwhy we chat through internet and do voice chats usually.I'm in pakistan and doing my last year of engineering.He wants to marry in december 2009 after my graduation and after marriage i have to live in pakistan and he will leave me alone with his parents .
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
I found him through internet .He waz also doing engineering that time .Thatswhy i got inspire with him and started freindship & then our freindship turned into love.
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
loser hai. dump him.
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
Thnx Gr8heera for your guidance..Well he also wants that i should have to prepare myself to live alone in pakistan with his mom and dad bcoz he haf to do money saving in dubai . Therefore he cant afford my expenses in dubai.Thatswhy i m thinking that what kinda marriage is this if i have to live without him here in pakistan? Am i doing marriage jus to care for his parents ?
You are welcome. That's what all boys marry most of the time they want their parents taken care of by his wife.
You know many girls live for several years living a part from husband and do all the things for his parents + galian + jootay gets in return. So don't worry few years then when they will die then you will do MAUJAAN HI MAUJAAN. It happened to my sisters and some relatives.
Wouldn't you like your mom and dad be taken care by your sister in law. Think like your own parents and Insha Allah you will get loads of reward.
Yeah many girls live alone with her husbands parents. Do grocery shopping and even pamper his niece and nephew and husband don't even call and talk to her that much and if she won't do anything or say anything back to his parents would be kicked out of the house. Sometimes girls are majboor can't go back as they have no parents only married brothers. You know how bhabhi's can behave with a thrown out or kicked NUND.
So don't worry be happy. Agay mauja hi maujaan after few years.
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
^Sara - that's her fiance!
Disturb did you only meet him once?
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
^ So? he's not her husband is he? there's nothing binding them. Better to break as early as possible. If he's giving her this much grief right now i can imagine how fun after-marriage life will be. and If she can love him im sure she can love someone else too..........
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
Oh my Allah you met him online. Did you do all investigation about him, his family and background of them?
It's so scarry for me.
Have you found for sure that he is an engineer like from his university. Which university he went or going for his engineering.
Is he married or not? and all other stuffs.
You have to be very carefull.
So you are in Pakistan. Living in Pakistan since birth? He is in Dubai and his parents are in Pakistan too?
Girl no matter how long you know him before getting married to him investigae about him well. Investigate yourself.
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disturb i'm sorry u r going thru all this.cooking etc is ok but living apart is a big no no.Also when hes not gonna keep u with him why hes stressing u learn to cook or is it just to train u for his parents?
let things cool off for a while.be quiet n try not to contact.if hes serious abt u he'll call u. also where r ur parents?u never mentioned them.involve them n put condition that after marriage u'll live with him in dubai.
@ GR8heera my b some ppl marry to find a girl that can take care of their parents but they should atleast tell that girl b4 committing anything that they want a caretaker not a wife so the girl has atleast some choice.
yes u do need to relax n ease off n mostly i'm a person who rarely recommends breakups but if this marriage is just for parents then i would absolutely re-think.
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disturb! i’m disturbed with everything you have to say!
oh my good lord!
here’s another nadz!
only difference is THIS nadz is not smart… the other real nadz is smart 
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
disturb i'm sorry u r going thru all this.cooking etc is ok but living apart is a big no no.Also when hes not gonna keep u with him why hes stressing u learn to cook or is it just to train u for his parents? let things cool off for a while.be quiet n try not to contact.if hes serious abt u he'll call u. also where r ur parents?u never mentioned them.involve them n put condition that after marriage u'll live with him in dubai. @ GR8heera my b some ppl marry to find a girl that can take care of their parents but they should atleast tell that girl b4 committing anything that they want a caretaker not a wife so the girl has atleast some choice. yes u do need to relax n ease off n mostly i'm a person who rarely recommends breakups but if this marriage is just for parents then i would absolutely re-think.
I agree with you totally but I know in our ppl mostly they marry to get a nokrani in the name of wife. Yeah a free nokrani called wife.
Again I agree with if he can't live with you and can't take you to dubai with you then you have to think.
Who knows if he has a wife in dubai? Ask Aishaa's help to find out about him in dubai as Aisha live in dubai.
I know a lady whose husband was in dubai she did every thing for his parents and sisters and even in marrying his sisters. He only use to send money. I think never come back. When I saw that lady and when I asked when her husbands come back. I saw pain and question in her eyes but she was so nice and caring person.
Now heard her son become some bigra person as had no father to take care of. And mother was all the time busy for her MIL who was too sick and taking care and cooking anf marrying her sisters in laws.
I never had enough chance to meet her. otherwise I would have asked her. I feel bad for her.
Wow. 
and Sara - we know she’s not letting the guy go anywhere anytime soon - and something tells me the guy and his mom know that too 
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So, you spent all that money getting an engineering degree, only to throw it away on an internet stranger who wants you sit at home and be a servant to his parents in a manky old house where u will not be comfortable, while he acts as a free agent in dubai.
Get a life Disturbed, trust me, u r NOT going on the road to happiness with this fellow.
Where has your common sense gone, did it fly out of the window?
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
Thnx for your reply buddies. I m feeling soo helpful now .Well the problem is this that i love him very very much.DOnt know why? But i m blindly mad for him.Many guyz propose me in my university but i cant leave my love bcoz i cant able to leave him.I know each and every thing abt him and i did many investigations when he proposed me 5 years back.I know his all msn id passwords and bank account pin codes.He prays five times a day .He never lie to me but the problem is abt such issues .Dont know why he is not supporting me in these matters and why he is not thinking abt my future although he know that what's my recent living standard is !! About his attitude i m sure that he wants a doll and robot type girl who can fulfill his all demands and i m nt able to agree on his all issues .
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
Gr8Heera----------> mujhay kafee afsoos hua un lady ka sun kar jis ka app nay share kiya hai..May God give her peace and happiness (Ameen) !
Re: Feeling Tense and disturb today!
Thnx for your reply buddies. I m feeling soo helpful now .Well the problem is this that i love him very very much.DOnt know why? But i m blindly mad for him.Many guyz propose me in my university but i cant leave my love bcoz i cant able to leave him.I know each and every thing abt him and i did many investigations when he proposed me 5 years back.I know his all msn id passwords and bank account pin codes.He prays five times a day .He never lie to me but the problem is abt such issues .Dont know why he is not supporting me in these matters and why he is not thinking abt my future although he know that what's my recent living standard is !! About his attitude i m sure that he wants a doll and robot type girl who can fulfill his all demands and i m nt able to agree on his all issues .
oh no girl! Your problem can't be sorted out so soon... I'm just wondering how you feel helped already. We did not even warm up the conversation yet.
What are you planning on doing?
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^ So? he's not her husband is he? there's nothing binding them. Better to break as early as possible. If he's giving her this much grief right now i can imagine how fun after-marriage life will be. and If she can love him im sure she can love someone else too..........
Disturb_angel, I completely agree with the advice Sara's given you. What exactly do you STILL see in this guy? He has no respect whatsoever for how YOU feel about YOUR future.. he's going to leave you after marriage in Pakistan, while he's going to live in Dubai (Is that right?).. He's going to "force" you to live in a house you already know to be horrible.. All that pressure with cooking blah blah..
In short, he's extremely selfish. Think about how your life is going to be after marriage.. he's giving you a verrrry clear picture of it already!
And what do your parents think about him and HIS future plans for YOU?