Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
Just to clarify::::::::::::::::::CJ posted an apology regarding this thread also.
General Energy about life…doesn’t it get you know toned down as one ages…Different priorities and different lifetstyle. You got married young didn’t you…would you consider having the same amount of energy to put ito a relationship if you would have waited till now.Do you get what I mean. Then versus now.
bte, read your thread and thats about a 14 year diff, I am not talking about that big of a difference. in my honest opinion girs in early 20's (21-22) getting engaged to guys in mid 20's (25-27) and then getting married in a few years probably provides the largest candidate pool for both. largest is not always best, but chances to find the right person are higher..
I didn;t get wht you said...you mean , getting engaged with the guy with that amount of age difference and then finding out if he is the one or not?Is that what you mean?
nope, look last year begum and i went to 3 diff concerts, more than any other year..thats after 11 years of marriage, also weekend get aways what nots. I dont think, we go exploring diff restaurants and events..and this si stuff as a couple, on our own we do gusy night and girls nights out..and would be doing more if we had a reliable babysitter 
its about personal perspectives and priorities. There are days when i work late, I want to come home, have dinner, lame on the net watch Tv and sleep, I am not even much of a talker that eve.
i answered more in that thread u posted so lets continue there
Rock on man!! Best post so far!:k:
You know Choti, my mom was discussing this with another aunti the other day. She was at a gathering and was speaking to this rishta aunti about my little sister. My little sister is a doll Mashallah...active, intelligent, beautiful, etc. My mom asked if she knew of anyone that was looking for a girl right now. The aunti threw up her hands and said no one. She said there arent enough men right now. It was the funniest thing but made a lot of sense coming from her. She would know being in the center of it all.
According to her, there are more educated and well qualified girls then guys. Most girls these days dont stop before a Master's and even then want to continue their education. The guys, frankly arent matching up. She said a girl with a PhD does not want to marry a guy with a Bachelor's. She would like someone who is at the same level if not more and there arent many like that. Some girls have to compromise and just suck it up, some dont marry and some go to Pakistan and marry within the family.
I personally know of some VERY well educated girls, super successful, good looking, sophisticated but not married. You wouldnt think they could possibly have a problem meeting a man but they say the same thing...the men just arent there. And they dont want to settle.
MEN, please dont take this as a male bashing comment. Its not, just what Ive heard.
i know exactly what you mean... my sister and a very dear friend of mine are in the same boat.. highly qualified.. both doing their Phd's.. so hard to find a guy.. lekin i don tthink they are aiming for Phd guys at all.. someone decent is all that matters
Jaanwar very well said... :)
I myself am in that boat however i have an unmarried older sister so i try to get the family to focus on her rather then setting me up and what not. I have to say sometimes when younger people announce their weddings I do reflect on my love life and wonder why my life isn't settled but at the same time I have faith in god and just know when it's my time it'll happen. I still have hope that love will find me, i'm not too old so i'm not desperate lol but I know older girls who also wanted love, refused to settle and now regret not settling for the guy that they didn't have chemistry with but was able to take care of them and offered.
Sometimes my married friends talk to me and tell me i should stop wasting my time and just get an arranged marriage and I laugh because they aren't very happy in their own marriages and maybe that's why they are meddling with my life. It would be one thing if older single women came to girlfriends saying i want you to help me, but if they dont do them a favor and don't pity them (it's not the end of the world by 27 you have to have a career to focus on at least) and don't push your own ideas of arranging a marriage on a girl if she's not willing to explore that option.
I also just saw the fild He's Just Not That Into You and thinks it had really insightful stuff that we all can relate to.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
This is such backwards desi mentality. I find it difficult to believe that someone of your age and education is susceptible to it. And before you think I'm bashing you because I'm one of (to be pitied) older unmarried girls, let me just reassure you I am only 23.
It is not simple a case of saying that educated girls only want a guy who is more educated than them. In todays society when we have more choices and a better chance of being equal, education is important for its own sake. I am sure there are many women who certainly do not believe that they are better than someone who is not educated, or that it is a necessary quality in a future husband. There are other qualities which are far more important.
Many women have certain things to achieve in life before they get married and are tied down to responsibilities - because lets face it however much people try to dress marrieage as rosy, the reality is that there will be responsibilities that come with the role and the need to compromise on certain issues which can become an issue especially if they prevent someone from achieving their goal/ambition.
I certainly do not envy girls who are younger than me who are married and nor would I resentful if my sister/cousin got married before me - why would I resent the people I love happiness.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
Nothing wrong in being unmarried, better than being forcefully married at 15 to a 30 year old and never having any relationship apart from physical.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
Good lord! this thread is still alive! :-/
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
isnt this an ongoing topic since feb 6th 09?
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
^ the thread starter apologized for this statement in another thread and agreed that this was a wrong generalization/assumption.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
oppss...sorry jaanwar...i just joined GS :)
well good that he did…
I hate that feeling!!!!!!! I have a cousin that's 27 and she's not married and is having a hard time...I have another friend that's 28.....I pray for my cousin a lot, and sometimes I wonder if she'lll EVER get married? Do any of you have that feeling? All their friends are married, people a decade younger then them are getting married. Like my cousin called me to say congrats to me (she's an angel), and I felt really guilty cuz I'm younger then her by many years and in an ideal world she should have gotten married first. So sad.
Yes it happens.
I used to ponder over the same question, when we couldn't find a rishta for my aunt. However, she recently got married at the age of 27 and Alumdullillah now she is really happy. Your cousin will InshAllah get married when the right time comes. I do believe that Allah knows best and whatever He does it's for the good, whether we as humans realize it or not. InshAllah when the right time comes she will get married and for the meantime all we can do is pray for her and all other girls like her who are looking forward to getting married.
Totally agree. Zabardast post.
You know Choti, my mom was discussing this with another aunti the other day. She was at a gathering and was speaking to this rishta aunti about my little sister. My little sister is a doll Mashallah...active, intelligent, beautiful, etc. My mom asked if she knew of anyone that was looking for a girl right now. The aunti threw up her hands and said no one. She said there arent enough men right now. It was the funniest thing but made a lot of sense coming from her. She would know being in the center of it all.
According to her, there are more educated and well qualified girls then guys. Most girls these days dont stop before a Master's and even then want to continue their education. The guys, frankly arent matching up. She said a girl with a PhD does not want to marry a guy with a Bachelor's. She would like someone who is at the same level if not more and there arent many like that. Some girls have to compromise and just suck it up, some dont marry and some go to Pakistan and marry within the family.
I personally know of some VERY well educated girls, super successful, good looking, sophisticated but not married. You wouldnt think they could possibly have a problem meeting a man but they say the same thing...the men just arent there. And they dont want to settle.
MEN, please dont take this as a male bashing comment. Its not, just what Ive heard.
There are men who are more educated bus contact honay ki baat hai.
As I'm looking for girl and some girls here are looking for guys. There should be a proper chennel and secret genuine place on GS to introduce each other there might be a match.
No worries, welcome to GS
PS: Its a she!
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
@ jaanwar...opps again... :)
@ gr8 heera .... sigh ..its not so easy to meet your soulmate ..but good luck to you..:)...why dont you start a thread?
[quote="NJMasti, post:2, topic:195172"]
I have not read ALL of the past 3 pages - but - I STILL WANT TO KNOCK YOU ALL down that say they feel sorry for the girl because of her HIGHER education.
What rubbish!
Ask any of those girls - I am pretty darn sure they WERE in a relationship while in college. When you are done with college you are either 22 or 23 years old. IF the guys at that point DOES NOT HONOR HIS PROMISE and the relationship breaks OFF - then the girl needs some time to get over this. Even if she takes a year or 2 to even start thinking of another relationship - she is already 24 or 25 years old!
If at 25 she starts looking - and does not find someone - then she is 26 and HELLO 27!
At 27 a girl is NOT old. At 27 girl is just unable to find a guy who is NOT married yet who is older than her. Most guys are younger than her - so now it gets tough finding anyone at all.
And to those people who feel SORRY for these girls - and are declaring that YOU got MARRIED LONG BEFORE HER and now feel sorry for her - are just miserable people.
Not everyone's life is written in the same way. Get over it and STOP feeling sorry - or else - GIVE YOUR HUBBY TO HER - AKA - do something for her!/quote]
Ha ha ha. Zabardast.
Thread starter: the title of your thread made me laugh. Its immature, offensive, and I dont mean to sound harsh - but it is rather stupid.
Dont feel "sad" for older unmarried girls - a lot of them are much happier and prosperous than the happy younger married girls. Being married and breeding doesnt automatically mean that you have made it in life, for many there is much more to it.
A word of advice/request, the next time you feel like feeling sorry for someone in public forums - dont.
If you have to feel sorry, then feel sorry for those who have been deprived of their right to live, and instead of posting threads to air your sorrow - ACT.
Zabardast.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
P.S heera...this thread khallased.