I hate that feeling!!!
I have a cousin that’s 27 and she’s not married and is having a hard time…I have another friend that’s 28…I pray for my cousin a lot, and sometimes I wonder if she’lll EVER get married? Do any of you have that feeling? All their friends are married, people a decade younger then them are getting married. Like my cousin called me to say congrats to me (she’s an angel), and I felt really guilty cuz I’m younger then her by many years and in an ideal world she should have gotten married first. So sad.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
I used to ponder over the same question, when we couldn't find a rishta for my aunt. However, she recently got married at the age of 27 and Alumdullillah now she is really happy. Your cousin will InshAllah get married when the right time comes. I do believe that Allah knows best and whatever He does it's for the good, whether we as humans realize it or not. InshAllah when the right time comes she will get married and for the meantime all we can do is pray for her and all other girls like her who are looking forward to getting married.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
You know Choti, my mom was discussing this with another aunti the other day. She was at a gathering and was speaking to this rishta aunti about my little sister. My little sister is a doll Mashallah...active, intelligent, beautiful, etc. My mom asked if she knew of anyone that was looking for a girl right now. The aunti threw up her hands and said no one. She said there arent enough men right now. It was the funniest thing but made a lot of sense coming from her. She would know being in the center of it all.
According to her, there are more educated and well qualified girls then guys. Most girls these days dont stop before a Master's and even then want to continue their education. The guys, frankly arent matching up. She said a girl with a PhD does not want to marry a guy with a Bachelor's. She would like someone who is at the same level if not more and there arent many like that. Some girls have to compromise and just suck it up, some dont marry and some go to Pakistan and marry within the family.
I personally know of some VERY well educated girls, super successful, good looking, sophisticated but not married. You wouldnt think they could possibly have a problem meeting a man but they say the same thing...the men just arent there. And they dont want to settle.
MEN, please dont take this as a male bashing comment. Its not, just what Ive heard.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
Isn't one of the major signs for the Day of Judgement that there would be 50 women to one man, i.e. 50:1 ratio.
But it sucks to let the men know that they're a rarity!
Oh and 27 isn't that old people.
Oh and it isn't exactly a nice thing to feel sorry for people. Count your blessings, pray for yourself and them.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
27!! I know of people who are 40 and older and got married for thr first time (yes, women). 27 is not actually old at all.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
Wow … we are rare bread … 
Hamari qadaar kiya karoo 
Isn't one of the major signs for the Day of Judgement that there would be 50 women to one man, i.e. 50:1 ratio.
But it sucks to let the men know that they're a rarity!
Oh and 27 isn't that old people.
Oh and it isn't exactly a nice thing to feel sorry for people. Count your blessings, pray for yourself and them.
Its not that MEN are a rarity (although that might not be too far from the truth either)...educated and qualified men are a rarity. Girls dont want to marry a guy just for the sake of marriage, they want more out of a relationship now.
Women are climbing the corporate ladder and excelling quickly while men dont feel the need to go that far. I heard something like this a few months ago too...majority of the advanced degrees in the US are held by women now.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
And for those women who are 27-28 years old and happy and confident with themselves while waiting to find a good decent guy...........they wouldn't feel too good to read a thread in which they are being pitied and felt sorry for. As SU said, count your blessings Choti Jaan. And since u have a caring heart, pray for urself and others.
Life is so unpredictable. An early marriage can God forbid not work out. Does that mean the now single woman should become depressed and stop living? No. A woman is more than just the label of "married" or "unmarried." There is much more substance to her than her relationship status. It's sad to limit her to this.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
Booyah! This is why we are allowed 4 wives. So all you single ladies, get ready to start sharing!!
I hate that feeling!!!!!!! I have a cousin that's 27 and she's not married and is having a hard time...I have another friend that's 28.....I pray for my cousin a lot, and sometimes I wonder if she'lll EVER get married? Do any of you have that feeling? All their friends are married, people a decade younger then them are getting married. Like my cousin called me to say congrats to me (she's an angel), and I felt really guilty cuz I'm younger then her by many years and in an ideal world she should have gotten married first. So sad.
i feel you. my Khala (mom's sister) is 28 and still isnt married yet. my mom and nani worry abt her everyday esp. now when my rishta is almost finalized iA. i can feel my khala's pain everytime she talks to me abt my rishta or somebody elses wedding. she tries to hide it but it shows. InshAllah she finds her prince charming. thtd b so awsome if me & her get married on the same day LOL, thts wat i tell her to make her laugh
And for those women who are 27-28 years old and happy and confident with themselves while waiting to find a good decent guy...........they wouldn't feel too good to read a thread in which they are being pitied and felt sorry for. As SU said, count your blessings Choti Jaan. And since u have a caring heart, pray for urself and others.
Life is so unpredictable. An early marriage can God forbid not work out. Does that mean the now single woman should become depressed and stop living? No. A woman is more than just the label of "married" or "unmarried." There is much more substance to her than her relationship status. It's sad to limit her to this.
Definitely agree with you RV.
Dont feel sorry for them Choti, these women are doing amazing things with their lives...at least the ones I know. One is a doctor, one is a CPA, one is a teacher for an Islamic school, etc. If they're not married, they're making a difference somewhere and thats much more important.
You know Choti, my mom was discussing this with another aunti the other day. She was at a gathering and was speaking to this rishta aunti about my little sister. My little sister is a doll Mashallah...active, intelligent, beautiful, etc. My mom asked if she knew of anyone that was looking for a girl right now. The aunti threw up her hands and said no one. She said there arent enough men right now. It was the funniest thing but made a lot of sense coming from her. She would know being in the center of it all.
According to her, there are more educated and well qualified girls then guys. Most girls these days dont stop before a Master's and even then want to continue their education. The guys, frankly arent matching up. She said a girl with a PhD does not want to marry a guy with a Bachelor's. She would like someone who is at the same level if not more and there arent many like that. Some girls have to compromise and just suck it up, some dont marry and some go to Pakistan and marry within the family.
I personally know of some VERY well educated girls, super successful, good looking, sophisticated but not married. You wouldnt think they could possibly have a problem meeting a man but they say the same thing...the men just arent there. And they dont want to settle.
MEN, please dont take this as a male bashing comment. Its not, just what Ive heard.
I SO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!!!!! It's NOT THAT THEY ARE LESS GUYS> but that girls want like a doctor/highly educated/rich for everything. And there are only so many doctors. I have seen this myself. Even the girl is not to that level. I know this one girl is 28 year old, and her parents are sooooooooo picky. she's had good rishtas, but they want this or that and the girl gets older each earlier.
There are SOOOOOOOOOO many wonderful guys in my community, but girls and their mom don't want to marry them because they don't have some professional degree. So many of these guys marry goris and we're all like GOOD FOR THEM- desi girls need to learn to humble themselves!! In my med school class most of the girls that are married are married to normal guys like high school teachers, people with only a bachelors. They are sooooo happy. But I know if a desi girl was in those shoes, she would NEVER get over the "the guy is ONLY a teacher" mentality. I hate to to generalize here because I know there are exception (me!), but i am trying to make a point.
The guy I married works for his family business and has only bachelors and I will inshallah get MD soon. But since he's part of the community and we've known him FOREVER, we know he's such a wonderful guy- and wouldn't do anything horrible.
I hear the phrase from young girls "i want to marry a doctor" all to often, and it was encouraged by their parents. Like they would say to me in front of their parents- and they themselves are just working on their bachelors like now. and the moms wonder why their daughters aren't married? Is it because they've rejected too many rishtas???????? Lalach is never a good thing.
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my very pretty cousin just got married last year at 37 to a very handsome guy a few years older than her who is absolutely wonderful
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Well everything would be alright if it weren't for the dreaded biological clock. In school, we learned that in the late 20's and especially 30's, fertility begins to decline. At the age of 37, the risk of having a Down Syndrome baby is increasingly hi (we have problems when cousins marry, but the risk is far greater when you are older women giving birth). Infertility is on the high, because women are marrying so late and starting to have a family so late.
I mean if you're looking to have kids (which is 95% of women) then marrying late is not a pretty option, unless you want to spend a butt load on IVF and fertility treatments.
Too many of these women I want to say stop being soooooooo picky. They may not have a fancy schwancy Master or PhD or DMD, MD, but they are nice. That's probably why guys don't have trouble marrying---I don't think there as picky....
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
This thread is so pakistanis/desi/paindo style.
tum larkian jitna bhi parh lo, tum ko amreeka bhi ly aao
rehti wahi ho
BIGGEST AIM IN LIFE=start chaining diapers right after coming out of diapers you selves!!!
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
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one of my frnd married at the age of 27 … n she thinks … tht she shud had waited more years 
**
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
^all the married ppl I know think that they shouldn't have gotten married.
^all the married ppl I know think that they shouldn't have gotten married.
**
all the married ppl I know keep tellin all their frnds .. to marry ASAP :p
**
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
may be your married friends get envious on your friends' singlehoods :p
** all the married ppl I know keep tellin all their frnds .. to marry ASAP :p **
ha ha
wait and watch.
when women start nagging and as a revenge guys act to be what they actually are.
Re: feeling sad for older unmarried girls
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^^:rotfl:
**
And for those women who are 27-28 years old and happy and confident with themselves while waiting to find a good decent guy...........they wouldn't feel too good to read a thread in which they are being pitied and felt sorry for. As SU said, count your blessings Choti Jaan. And since u have a caring heart, pray for urself and others.
Life is so unpredictable. An early marriage can God forbid not work out. Does that mean the now single woman should become depressed and stop living? No. A woman is more than just the label of "married" or "unmarried." There is much more substance to her than her relationship status. It's sad to limit her to this.
Redvelvet,
There are many thing that I read on gupshup that doesn't suit my fancy either- and reminds me of me. It doen't do much for my self esteem- but you know what- I think it's wonderful to see the point of view from the other side-and make myself have thicker skin.For example, I know people write many comments on how they hate bony girl figures that look like prepubescent boy - I have the boniest figure (like an anorexics). If I told someone that I was hurt by this they would say, "it's the internet for God's sake, you aren't going to hear only the flattering parts of your life" And that's the great thing about the internet--you can get into the minds of many people....cuz they are writng what they are thinking.
Also, maybe the poster wants to know the feelings and motivations of a girl's getting married late- why is is that (after all many say they CHOOSE to get married late-** i think you said that too-- well then why are you hurt, if you chose your lifestyle? )** and how should a younger person react when talking to older unmarried women. Or just wondering how to get rid of that "I feel bad getting married" because my cousin isn't married...
The post that I wrote is geniune concern and close to home, and bothers me everyDAY!! Everyday I hope for a phone call from my aunt that would say 'oh Maryum's engaged!" !!!!Everday! It does hurt me...and I would love to know the thoughts about older unmarried girls so that I can understand them better, and maybe not feel sorry for them, but happy in every action they take....
Redvelvet, from your posts I KNOW you are a much more confident person then to be hurt by athought by a young girl that was posted online!
Love, Choti Jaan