hey everyone hope all of you are doing well. Actually i have been writing about my issues about my husband being super busy and not giving me time.i have started keeping myself busy and also am taking regular sessions and taking professional help for my depression .when i started treatment he was being very supportive and was giving me a lot of time and it seemed as if i was recovering fast the docs were very happy aswell but god knws whts happened to me again i feel scared in my own house all i feel is as if im gonna lose him and suddenly i feel as if he will call me and say good bye. he recently got a contract which he is really busy with and is travelling almost every week since ramazan all of this made me feel really stressed out and lonely:( but still i kept all this inside me and thought ok he is working and is busy then my birthday came up and he gave me a surprise by coming home from dubai when i didnt have any idea about him coming back we had a nice romantic eve but for some reason i just didnt feel good (please dont take me wrong am just very worried) like i didnt feel anything when we got close and he said sometimes i feel you dont luv me i said why he says when ever i get close to you u seem to have no feeling as if im with a statue :S i cried a lot and told him its just that im unwell and he seemed to understand that. after all this i have started feeling totally down like i dont feel like getting ready hadnt done my eye brows for a month didnt put any make up or dress up properly stayed in my pajamas and tshirt didnt step out no meeting friends. he got back from london last week and talked to me about whats the matter i just didnt have anything to say he cancelled his meetings and took me to the stylist i got myself sorted and off we went to our farm house for 2 days where he swtiched off his cell fone and spend time with me playing golf swimming walks at nite lots of romance but again i just didnt feel happy i felt its all temperory after 2 days the nightmare will begin even whenever we got close i was like a statue and he said dont worry just take your time.the morning we were leaving for the city i told him i wanna talk to you he sat down and said go on i told him i felt he avoids me and i need time he assured me that he has decided he will give me time as he luves me and i have always compromised a lot and proven to be very understanding when he needed it the most but guys he has said that a million times and has proven me right today when i called him and all he said was huni im busy can i call back and thats it i i feel my marriage is not working out.im sorry for such a longggg story but am just going to a level where i feel i should just switch off my cell and leave like vanish go away and never return or maybe just end this life 
Re: Feeling Numb
Are you seeing a psychiatrist ? If not please get an appointment with one , there are many safe treatments for depression you are going through. Depression is a treatable medical condition. You need his support and medication too.
Re: Feeling Numb
Okay, you need to snap out of it NOW before your marriage fails.
and I think you need to get a job.
Re: Feeling Numb
^forget the marriage, she needs to get help before she harms herself.
Look Mehroze, everybody goes through depression once in a while. It's great that you are getting help but it seems like you either need to switch your doctor or open up even more and tell them that you are having suicidal thoughts. Are you on birth control or anything which could affect your hormones and mood?
Wherever it is that you're living, do you feel isolated and lonely? You should confide in your husband and tell him exactly what you told us here. Maybe if he knew how lonely and depressed you were he might take you along when he goes for business meetings and all that. Please speak to a psychiatrist and tell them exactly what you are feeling, maybe they'll be able to prescribe you some medication to help since there are some really good ones on the market nowadays. Be strong and hang in there.
Re: Feeling Numb
@Mirch i have been on pills for almost a year now and was pretty much learning how to cope up with nonsense but God knows why i am just tried of everything now @ Gaia he says you dont need to work just relax go out with friends do what ever u feel like and also sometimes i feel he thinks im totally happy with everything even though my servants can even tell something is wrong with me i lost 7kgs in a month coz i dont even feel like eating as i dont even know what i like anymore. i told him just before he was leaving for the airport sometimes i feel i should just commit suicide he kissed me on my forehead and said mam would you like a gun or some pills and laughed
Re: Feeling Numb
Never mind I saw your other threads , you are in deep depression. I see that you were seeing a professional but was that a psychologist or psychiatrist. If he/she was not a psychiatrist you need to see one immediately.
Your conditions are treatable , but you have to take your doctor's advice seriously and follow it religiously. They have miracle drugs which start to work immediately and are great and safe treatment for your condition.
Re: Feeling Numb
@Mirch i have been on pills for almost a year now and was pretty much learning how to cope up with nonsense but God knows why i am just tried of everything now @ Gaia he says you dont need to work just relax go out with friends do what ever u feel like and also sometimes i feel he thinks im totally happy with everything even though my servants can even tell something is wrong with me i lost 7kgs in a month coz i dont even feel like eating as i dont even know what i like anymore. i told him just before he was leaving for the airport sometimes i feel i should just commit suicide he kissed me on my forehead and said mam would you like a gun or some pills and laughed
See my reply above , you need to be serious about your own health. Can you invite your mother, sister , father , brother to take care of you for 3 to 6 months who can follow advice of your psychiatrist , I guarantee you that you will be fine inshallah. I have dealt with many folks closer to me who had same symptoms as yours and now after treatment they are living a normal life.
Re: Feeling Numb
I have followed her threads, and it really just seems that she has way too much time to analyze things and think about unnecessary things and THAT is what leads to her depression.
I mean her husband is busy working seeing the world, while shes doing what? I think you need something very solid in your life, like getting a job or going back to school.
Mehroze- your husband is a great guy to say the least. He was only trying to lighten the mood by passing that joke. Imagine if he took EVERYTHING you said to him seriously, would he ever be able to work? Could he ever provide for you? NO.
You have relaxed way too much, please grab onto something solid in your life, so you have a purpose to wake up every morning, so you use your mind and soul in productive things and NOT think about the useless things which are making you depressed.
Re: Feeling Numb
Mehroze........on one hand you're assuming that he doesn't love you because he's busy with the demands of his new job assignment.....but then at the same time you push him away when he wants to spend time with you. That's a contradiction, don't you think? It's like you're saying....that if he's away from you for valid reasons, you don't like it....and then when he's close to you, you don't like it. You've mentally set it up so that he can't win...it's like creating a lose-lose situatio. He's damned if does...and he's damned if he doesn't. Is that fair to him? Is the stress of such a situation helping u in any way?
I don't konw you where you live...but if you live in the west...it's a long flight from Dubai. But he undertook that journey (which isn't easy) all for your birthday. Some people (even couples) may think that a birthday ...as special as it is...is not that big of a deal that one should hop on a plane. He cares about you....but he also has other responsibilities. Even when he's busy with work....he fulfills that responsibility so he can earn the money to run the house...to be able to afford your needs and wants. So, try to look at the fulfillment of that responsibility as another sign of his love for you and responsibility toward the marriage. Apart from work....maybe the other reason is that he wants to give you some space to heal. Doesn't necessarily mean that he's ignoring you...can also be the realization that people need time to themselves to sort themselves out. If he didn't love you...you would never see the kind/affectionat gesutres that you've mentioned in your post. If you feel that things are getting worse....talk to your doctor about it and maybe he/she can make some adjusments in threatment. Also, consider prayer as part of your treatment.
Re: Feeling Numb
I guess you live in UK mehroze , there must be suicide hot line there call them they should be able to make sure that you are taken care of.
here is one
08457 90 90 90
Re: Feeling Numb
Mirch I was thinking the same but you don’t have servants in UK, maybe in Pakistan?
Mehroze, please start reading namaz and if it is hard try and just listen to the quran inshALLAH it will give you the strength to go through day by day
You need to snap out of this now, and see a doctor, invest your time in prayer and dhikr and meeting friends and it is catch 22 but if you focus on yourself, getting a facial, new hair cut it can help you and make you feel much more positive
Sometimes women can have really bad depression after giving birth or a big event.. you will be fine sweets
Ps Start having good mood foods.. Have Avocado, fish, get your body healthy
Re: Feeling Numb
mehroze which country are you in?
You need to see a psychiatrist and have a review of your medication because its not working.
Do you ever have thoughts of harming yourself?
Re: Feeling Numb
You need to change your doctor and make some friends. Your husband works hard to make that money which he spends to make sure that you live a comfortable life and you are taken care of. You already living like a queen. Servants and all.
Just look at half full glass not half empty.
Read some books , watch some movies , invite people over for chit chat , start a housewives club in your neighborhood.
Re: Feeling Numb
mehroze you really seem to have a major depression and it shouldn't be avoided. However apart from your medications you yourself can make a difference. namaz, reciting the Quran as well as just making dua can work miracles.
Whenever you feel depressed just start reciting surah fatiha in your heart. Also please visit a psychiatrist asap and have a review of medications.
Re: Feeling Numb
I agree with pretty much everything Mirch said. The medication doesn't seem to be working. You may need to change docs/meds and get proper help. Your husband sounds amazing and is doing everything he can for you. You need to get some help for yourself before you fall into a deeper funk. Best of luck. Will keep you in my thoughts.
Re: Feeling Numb
thank you everyone i am gonna go to review my medications and Pray to Allah please pray for me as i feel i have nothing to look fwd to
Re: Feeling Numb
mehroze,
You need to continue seeing your docs, keep going with your treatment and do some self-help.
Your husband is very kind and understanding with you...lots of guys/girls aren't like that. If you feel like Allah swt has taken away all you have to look forward to then either you don't want to see or you're being ungrateful.
Snap out of it.
If your husband says he is busy...its okay for him to say that once in a while. He is allowed to be busy at work...its his job. You need to do your part in this marriage too. You can't expect him to just be there and you not be there for him. If he takes you away for the weekends, loves you, cares for you, wants you to be close to him and you cannot even deal with him saying "let me call you back"...who is not doing their part in this marriage? Him or you?
Why is ALL of the burden to make this marriage work on him now and not you? He should take you away, surprise you, romance, be patient with you, help you, pay attention to you and even take you to salon trips. And your job? What will you do?
You have to remember one thing mehroze...he is your spouse for better or for worse. But that doesn't mean you have to make it worse. You don't have to test him.
Re: Feeling Numb
are you scared that your husband will leave you???
dont be, just trust ALLAH SWT. no matter who leaves u, He SWT will always be with you.
Re: Feeling Numb
you are ill..
it's not your fault so seek help asap.
this may also lead to lack of eman, increase your faith. You will realise how lucky you are.
Re: Feeling Numb
Find some passion in life , like charity work of some kind. You have too much time at your hand and not much to do. Some people dream about the life you have.
1. Poor Kids education
2. Help poor girls get married
3. Join some NGO
4. Free clinic ( there are many unemployed doctors in Pakistan who will be more than happy to join that with you.