I was learning to stop caring what others thought and was feelinf better but again feel as if being thrown down.the same well again.
So as everyone knows.am.in uk atm
Have.exams
And no one ( apart from husband who sent me a good luck card:)) has wished.me luck.for my exams.from my. In laws family.
These people are highly educated ans are always praying and wishing everyone else
But.not.me.obviously. no.call.nothing
I feel.bad
Upset.that.my mil who wishes anyone can’t wish her own dil. Obviously a sign she hates.me.
Yes I should.be over it.I.know
Just bothering me.so.need some.pick.me.ups.
As usual.my keypad.messed.up sorry for full stops eveywhere
PS. Everyone will.say what have.I done to improve relationship well whenever I talk to.her she passes phone almost.instantly.to.husband.by insinuating that I.don’t want to talk and have asked.for.him so.I make.it clear I.am.talking.to her only
Also I try to.ask.about her health as.well.as.tried.one of her cake recipes.and.uploaded and tagged her in.the pic on fb in which I.thanked.her
Go ace your exam. Then tell your MIL the good news of your passing and that you 'd like to treat her to a gift. She will say she won't want anything, but send her something nice anyway. It'll make your husband happy and it'll hopefully make your mil think about how she treated you. Oh wait, this is not the kinda pick-me-up you want; it's way too helpful.
Err, who you be kiddin’? No, they won’t. Giving her false hope will only lead to another thread about how nobody flocked to her. She wants a pick-me-up, not a push-me-down-6-ft-under-the-ground-and-put-a-boulder-on-top-as-my-resting-place.
your husband cares and it should be more than enough...you shouldn't care about your in-law's aattitude/behaviour. let them go to hell if they don't wanna care for you...don't give them a damn. be happy with your husband. that's the bottom line.
Wow, that’s great, Nadz. Good for you for pushing yourself to talk to your MIL and bonding with her. It may be a while before she softens. Give it time, don’t expect immediate results, try not to expect anything. Even if she doesn’t change, the best thing that will result from your efforts is that it’ll make your marriage stronger, which is good for your kids too. :k:
WHY does this stuff bother you so much? I don't get it.
I just took a few exams...didn't care if someone wished me or not. Meaning, it never even crossed my mind and my inlaws knew. I was doing it for myself. I passed with flying colors and that's all I needed. My husband bought me a present and mom made me food to celebrate.
I don't think this has anything to do with your inlaws. This is an attention and self esteem issue. You crave too much attention from people...its not normal.
Reha is right......you do crave attention. But leave that discussion for another time.
Focus on your studies. Do a good job on the exams for yourself; not for anyone else in the world.
Consider your grades an accomplishment in which you don't have to share credit. What a feeling it is to do something on one's own, for oneself. Get high on THAT.
your husband cares and it should be more than enough...you shouldn't care about your in-law's aattitude/behaviour. let them go to hell if they don't wanna care for you...don't give them a damn. be happy with your husband. that's the bottom line.
exactly what i was going to say!
inlaws really shouldn't matter if they don't care about you.
too much bad has happened between you two. its gonna take a lot more than thanking her for cake and asking about her well being (though a good start).
focus on hour exam. thats all. ace it. give her the good news.
and then work on winning her as its clear from your posts , that you DO care what she thinks of you. it may work out at the end... it may not. but atleast you will have tried :)
People come from diff family setups! I think for "most" families, it is norm to wish each other on such occassions, so though in other situations i would have said nadz is being irresonable or expecting too much but def not on this one.
People come from diff family setups! I think for "most" families, it is norm to wish each other on such occassions, so though in other situations i would have said nadz is being irresonable or expecting too much but def not on this one.
Who is this exam for? Nadz or her inlaws that she needs pholoon ke haar?
Not wishing someone good luck on their exam...this is NOT a reason to get upset with your MIL people! This may not even be a reason to get mad at your husband. At least not for me. I drowned myself in my books for two weeks and he didn't complain about the house looking like a garbage dump along with no cooking...that's enough.
The focus is always on what's being SAID and kya DIKHAYA jaraha hai.
How can people even find the time in their day to think about these things? Jo log apni zindagi mein khush nahin hotay...they need all this extra stuff.
Did i say she needed a pholoon ka haar? there is no need to get all dramatic.
My point is simple. Inlaws is FAMILY and one expects the family to wish u on such occassions. This may not be the norm in some families but i am sure for most it is. What you do and expect is not indicative of what may work for the rest of the world too. If you have a high tolerance level or low expectations, good for you!
Who is this exam for? Nadz or her inlaws that she needs pholoon ke haar?
Not wishing someone good luck on their exam...this is NOT a reason to get upset with your MIL people! This may not even be a reason to get mad at your husband. At least not for me. I drowned myself in my books for two weeks and he didn't complain about the house looking like a garbage dump along with no cooking...that's enough.
The focus is always on what's being SAID and kya DIKHAYA jaraha hai.
How can people even find the time in their day to think about these things? Jo log apni zindagi mein khush nahin hotay...they need all this extra stuff.
She shouldn't care if her in-laws don't wish her well, by now she should become more immune to it. But at the same time, I think that it's easier to not care about indifferent relations who don't live with you. It's harder to always maintain the "I am not bothered" attitude when you're living under the same roof with the people who don't care about you. One may not expect a garland of flowers or some other grand gesture, but just a few kind words. It makes you wonder that if the inhabitants of a home cannot show regard for the smaller things like exams or in times of khushi, then how will they respond in dire times such as severe illness or death. And this cuts both ways, it applies to both Nadz and her in-laws. It's great that nadz has decided to take the initiative to better her equation with mil, but she needs to be patient while persisting and keep expectations low. The same complaints time n time again drain both her and the readers.
Did i say she needed a pholoon ka haar? there is no need to get all dramatic.
My point is simple. Inlaws is FAMILY and one expects the family to wish u on such occassions. This may not be the norm in some families but i am sure for most it is. What you do and expect is not indicative of what may work for the rest of the world too. If you have a high tolerance level or low expectations, good for you!
My point is simple as well. When it comes to relationships that are not your mother, father, brother and sister...keep expectations low for the sake of the greater good.
In most families, mom does dua, dad gives you sar pe haat and your siblings wish you luck. Your inlaws might say something and might not. And even if its the case...a good luck cannot possibly erase the years of issues these two have.
Being practical is better than being idealistic. When you know something will not happen...its bewaqufi to sit there and wait for it and then get pouty when it doesn't happen.
I'd rather spend all that energy making myself an amazing congratulatory dinner.
She’s a witch. 
