If your mom and MIL were drowning and you could only save ONE of them, who would you save? Your mother right?
You will never LOVE your inlaws and they will never love you. The only real pure love is that between parents and their kids.
Stop caring what your MIL thinks or does. She sounds like a typical desi WITCH of a MIL. She will never change. Just know that Allah sees everything. She will be held accountable for her sins and all the pain and havoc she has brought upon your family.
Nadz dont let it get to you. Your hubby cares hes your priority just stay focused inshallah it all goes well for you, whats the exam for? What are you studying? Inshallah you suceed in whatever you do in life
I've learnt to have no expectations from the inlaws chin up and move forward
I do not understand why Nadz is so bothered by the fact that her in-laws did not wish her well. She does not seem to like them or get on with them in the least. Why waste time and energy worrying about the opinions of people one does not even like? Life is too short for that.
Someone commented earlier that in-laws, typically, do not treat their daughter-in-law in the same way they treat their own children. Why would they? They did not adopt you. Contrary to the saccharine fluffery people gush at weddings, your in-laws are not your parents and have no obligation to treat you like their child. You are not their child. You simply married their son. It is possible to be close to one's in-laws and have a great relationship with them but expecting them to view and treat you like their own children is a quite unrealistic.
I do not understand why Nadz is so bothered by the fact that her in-laws did not wish her well. She does not seem to like them or get on with them in the least. Why waste time and energy worrying about the opinions of people one does not even like? Life is too short for that.
Someone commented earlier that in-laws, typically, do not treat their daughter-in-law in the same way they treat their own children. Why would they? They did not adopt you. Contrary to the saccharine fluffery people gush at weddings, your in-laws are not your parents and have no obligation to treat you like their child. You are not their child. You simply married their son. It is possible to be close to one's in-laws and have a great relationship with them but expecting them to view and treat you like their own children is a quite unrealistic.
Especially when you don't view your in-laws like your own parents.
And I agree with Mezghan and Reha, this is a non-issue. A lot of things become issues only because we create them ourselves.
And really if you are going to let everything make you feel low, then you are going to have a hard time. Which you already have, but you are mainly responsible for that. And only you can change that. No one else.
I think the main thing is yes you do care that your MIL's behaviour hurts you but sometimes people will treat you differently or like an "outsider" no matter how hard you try to fit into their family. Just leave it and focus on your life with your husband. You can't make people like you or treat you better, so there's no point in dwelling on it. The same situation is happening to my bhabhi and I always tell her to learn from every experience and should remember now to repeat the same things when you become a MIL in the future.
You are actually lucky that you have a supportive husband, because sometimes women don't even have that. So be grateful and honestly focus on your exams which are by far more important. Get a great career going and live your life. They don't even live with you so it's honestly a non-issue for you as you're not living under the same roof. It's just a phone call, get through it like a champ and move on. Don't give them the satisfaction of letting your MIL her behaviour upsets you.
Nadz after all ur previous posts owning up to the hate u feel when hubby spends time with mil, I don't know what will make u accept that it's quite obvious what u do. I can't believe k itni nonsense feelings k saath aap kabhi moo phula k nahi bethteen hongi. And she can't put two and two together, about why ur pissed off, cuz her son is nice to her. Do u think u hide it so well that ur apparently calling her from UK with a clean slate? That she should want to talk to u and get all lovey dovey just because u called. How uv been trying all these years to steal her son and whisk him off to the UK so u can live on a little island where mil doesn't exist. Do u think in all these years she's taken no notice of all this and doesn't suspect that u still want this, and that even besides the UK thing u hate just the fact that ur hubby sits with his mom?
Whenever u get another gnawing feeling about why ur mil didn't do some romance with u re-read this post. And I think we've already been thru a thread about her not asking about ur exams and studies? So what has changed? Why do u think someone will brainstorm u a magical solution in this one? They're all the same posts... It's Groundhog Day ....if u choose to wake up.
Who is this exam for? Nadz or her inlaws that she needs pholoon ke haar?
Not wishing someone good luck on their exam...this is NOT a reason to get upset with your MIL people! This may not even be a reason to get mad at your husband. At least not for me. I drowned myself in my books for two weeks and he didn't complain about the house looking like a garbage dump along with no cooking...that's enough.
The focus is always on what's being SAID and kya DIKHAYA jaraha hai.
How can people even find the time in their day to think about these things? Jo log apni zindagi mein khush nahin hotay...they need all this extra stuff.
Yeh true some people aren't good with words i never wish my friends good luck on exams even though i care about them cause it never really entered my mind. With family i do but sometimes i forget or im busy so only on occasion if that. Its not healthy to over think i just like to think the best of others so that i can keep my day going without any problems.
