Do you guys ever feel guilty you are spending so much on your wedding?
I do.
Everyday.
There are so many things I want but then I’m like God thats gonna cost so much and I don’t say anything.
The total amount we will be spending on the wedding is a large sum of money. If we send it to pakistan, we could probably educate ten kids through med school and get them married. Isn’t that unfair?
I also feel like I’m “taking” money from my dad and my brothers which otherwise they could have spent to get nice cars, or whatever they wanted. Or that money could be used towards getting us a new house!
How do you guys justify the cost of a wedding these days?
Nice thought OP. Do not spend much on your wedding. Better would be keep the cash with you. That will help you and hubby more. Also you can give some sadqa khairaat instead of spending that money on lighting, decoration and marriage hall etc.
Make a list of things you want...decide which of them you must have and which you can do without. And consider giving some of the money that would otherwise be spent on unnecessary things in charity....as a means of adding barkat in your marriage.
ugh i hate threads like this maybe im an inconsiderate ***** but to be honest my grandaparents/parents have blatantly said they are paying for my wedding…so…im going to let them…im a banker by profession and i have my own salary…but my parents dont want me to use it for the wedding (although i have decided im contributing towards my wedding dress etc) they want me to save it for AFTER the wedding incase i need it for a ‘rainy day’…(ALLAH na karey)
so my answer is NO i wont be feeling bad, because i dont plan on any un-necessary costs…and if i do decide i want white doves painted green…i’ll pay for it myself and their cool with that
And we give charity, sadaqah, zakaat etc on a regular basis…that money is seperate from the “wedding fund” Alhamdolillah…(LOVE my family to bits)
I won't feel guilty, I've wanted that wedding since I was a little girl. Of course I am in no way going to make it a burden on my parents who want to pay for it. If I worked, I would pay for it on my own but there is no point in feeling guilty about it. You get married once and unless you're into simpler weddings, there isn't a reason to feel bad, esp. if your parents or you didn't go into debt.
baatain hum sub bari bari karte hain GS pe par jub hoti hai tou phir wohi fancy, expensive photographers, filmographers, huge parties, limo for everyone, jahaiz, huge, fancy halls reserved for DAYS and not to forget, the DJ and his family for the Naachgana (think the "K" word).
If you keep it simple, you won't spend that much... put your self and/or your parents in debt for many, many years (unless you rich, of course) and for what? Just to show off to people who you wouldn't invite to your home for simple dinner?
Whats sad and tragic is that many of these marriages don't last that long...
Someone close to me recently got married so I have a pretty fair idea of how much a nice wedding will cost you these days. Having said that if you have the money and want a big wedding then go for it. After all you only get married once.
as well, just a general question, but why is it that the thought of feeding/clothing/educating the poor only comes up when its time to pay for a wedding? if you have that kind of cash, do it regardless of your event.
As long as your parents aren't breaking their backs trying to fund your wedding then you shouldn't feel guilty. i feel guilty even though I'm paying for majority of my wedding! It does mean that i won't have an amazing perfect wedding but I'm more of a 'i'd rather have a perfect marriage than wedding' person anyway!
Yes, being wasteful should make you at least feel guilty. It shows you still have a conscience.
I don't get the psychological need behind having a lavish wedding ceremony. Shouldn't it be an intimate and private occasion because after all it is beginning of a very special and private bond between two person.
^ but marriage isn't just between two people- it involves families and friends too. shouldn't everyone have a chance to celebrate your happiness with you?
If I had the option, I would've skipped one of the events mehendi/barat/valima. Maybe if you have a simple nikkah, you just have a large Valima (& no barat)..something of the sort. I am all for enjoyment & if it needs to be incorporated that same singing, dancing fun could be added on the barat or valima.
Or if I could, I would cut down half my guest list to only people who I want to attend my wedding.. no every tom,dick, harry we barely know.
I would cut down on the jewellery. Better give cash to the couple for as much as they need. Jewellery that people hardly ever wear 2-3 times in their life. Naa! There are other better ways of investment.
Moreover,if i could, i would cut down on the mega budgeted decore. There are very few families that CAN actually afford doing the extravagant weddings that they end up doing for the sake of the society.
Another thing, I would throw the Jahaiz custom out of the world if again I could. The girl only brings her clothes, makeup,shoes & jewellery that SHE needs.
Perhaps people should not focus on the poor, but they should have their priorities straight. There are so many people who spend lavishly on a 3 day wedding and then have nothing left over to for a down payment on a property (and then not enough money to pay a monthly mortgage). To me, that is really silly. Just like all those people who get a 2nd mortgage on their house to pay for an over the top wedding .... what for? Then they cry about being in debt or having to live with their in-laws because they can't afford to buy their own place.
Not everybody makes enough money to have a lavish wedding AND have their own condo/house immediately after marriage. These are real life expenses (like having children - which is an expense) that so many people just do not prepare for.
Waise Im forever waging this war with my parents and family. I am forever telling them, not to do this not to do that. To ease the burden. But they WANT the burden. They tell me its their happiness to do what they are doing and they dont appreciate me telling them to cut costs for their sake. Bless them.
I too feel guilty but when I see my parents and hubby(for valima and all) is so much okay with everything Alhamdulillah then I feel satisfied!! =) I love them all!!!
maybe im an inconsiderate ***** but to be honest my grandaparents/parents have blatantly said they are paying for my wedding…so…im going to let them…im a banker by profession and i have my own salary…but my parents dont want me to use it for the wedding (although i have decided im contributing towards my wedding dress etc) they want me to save it for AFTER the wedding incase i need it for a ‘rainy day’…(ALLAH na karey)