Re: feeling guilty overwhelmed and sad
It is an awful situation to be in. That’s why I think the community and the current generation needs to avoid getting into such situations, this whole import export business has given birth to so many unhappy and unstable cousin marriages. The British Pakistani community needs to confront this bitter reality now, and fix itself. This is not just about you here, your whole situation feels so close to home, I wish I can give you some ignorant ‘encouraging’ advice for sake of it, and cheer your hip hopping between two countries.
Honestly speaking, I was being very serious when I said that a full time job and proper sense of responsibilities in UK will do you a huge personal favour. It will massively contribute towards some serious and much needed character building. You must come back. My advice to you is same as the advice I would give to people who are ‘dying to get come out of Pakistan’, life is not bed of roses here. Coming to these countries means hard work. It is as simple as that. Just stop feeding yourself with any feel good fantasies that your husband’s visa would be authorised in a year or so because there is no such guarantee and later it will be who’ll feel extremely betrayed and heartbroken, like you mostly do when things don’t go your way.
In regards to transferring your husband’s money into your UK account and taking it to immigration office, well don’t exactly do that. You may have to declare that income, tell them how you acquired it and pay tax on it. Undeclared income and subsequent tax evasion is a crime in UK, and you can land yourself in some trouble if the immigration officer decides to ask you a simple yes or no question or they run a background check themselves. Moreover, if you claim benefits and have certain amount of money in the bank and if they find out about that, again you can get into some serious trouble. So get in touch with a good immigration lawyer, and do your research.
Once you’ve taken a decision, please stick to it. You really need to decide whether six whiny months without husband here, and one whiny year with husband over there is the way to live your life with two young children.