The thing am gonna tell is something which should NOT be revealed in public but I can’t tell how do I feel when I remember the way my husband used to deal with me. We had spent so many memorable moments together. I miss each and everything. His jokes and his caring acts for me. I feel like everything has been snatched away from my hands just in a few days. I used to believe that we have come close to each other in a short time which a good thing. I used to feel lucky to have such an understanding relationship between me and my hubby. We have a 1 year old daughter.
For me, everything was going absolutely fine, yes we had some fights and arguements but I never took them so serious, I didnt know that my hubby and his family was worried and they all were monitering me. My husband didn’t tell me that he is going to leave me not even by his face expressions. He has always been nice to me. He sent me to my parents’ home and asked me to get some psychological treatment (infact I was having sessions from a psychologist and also having anti-depresant, because my psychologist told me that I am having a minor post child birth depression which is curable. I was happy that my hubby was co-operating with me, infact he used to take me for the sessions. But I didnt know that he was taking me as a psycho person, I believed that he loves me to death. Finally he left me to my parents’ place and then got disappeared somewhere in other city with his mother. From where they sent ‘Declaration of Divorce’ to me via TCS. He didnt even talk to my elders about the issues he was having with me. I am still shocked on the way he has re-acted. My family talked to his elder brothers and they all were like ‘We were planning this divorce since last 6 months, so it’s aWELL THOUGHT decision’. So it means I was totally unaware about their planning while living there with them. They are saying that I’m psycho and get out of control. They don’t realize that 1: a psycho girl can’t take care of a baby 2: she can’t hold a Masters degree from a recognized university.
He has left his baby girl with me. He didnt even think about her future. He made her a part of a broken family. I am very much disturbed as it was quite sudden. my ex-inlaws were very religious but I dont understand that where is their “shariyat” now. Allah Almighty has told the right way to give divorce. But they didnt even talk to my parents and declared divorce. How is it possible? He was planning to leave me for good but he lied to me that he will not leave me and his daughter. These things are making me very upset and Icantg find the way to get back to my normal life. It’s all shocking and devastating. I dont know that what was their actual motive behind this intense step but he has ruined my life and now it;s very hard for me to stand up again and get strong.
How can he be so insensitive? Wouldn’t he miss me and his daughter? wouldn’t he miss the days and times we spent together? how can he forget everything. how can he be so mean. atleast he could have talked to me or my parents if he was feeling uncomfortable with me.
iam sorry it must be incredibly hard going through this and taking care of a 1 year old.. its very sad how people can carry off 2 different faces u know how they say 'upar se kuch andar se kuch'..
iam speechless.. this is horrible stay strong
All I can say is this; you are better off without him. He clearly doesn’t have a backbone to make his own decisions, nor the audacity to sit down with you and talk things through. You don’t want someone like him around your daughter - who seems to me like he is influenced by others very quickly.
Btw, have you tried contacting him to find out where the problem was? I know you said it was your post-natal depression, but it may have been more from his side. It seems quite difficult to close the door on him because you have a child, and there are no real explanations as to why he left.
Concentrate on your own and your daughters wellbeing; she needs a strong mother to bring her up. Make your daughter proud.
OMG this is terrible! I don't even know what to say at this situation. Everybody knows that post partum depression is very common and taking anti-depressants is perfectly normal !
I have a feeling there is a lot more to it. Just doesn't seem right ..this disappearing act and then giving a divorce like that ! May Allah give you strength to get through this turmoil.
I am so sorry to hear this! I don't even know where to begin! I can't say why he divorced you but perhaps your husband was talked into divorcing you by his family; it's very common. You said your husband was caring and thoughtful and you could never imagine this. Has the divorce been finalized? Have you asked YOUR HUSBAND (not his family) why he divorced you?
My husband was abroad with his family when I delieverd the baby via c-section. And I had a problem with it, I explained my grief to him that how did I feel without him during those painful moments and he got irritated. Husbands normaly dont like complaints, I should have understood this reality, even then I dont feel that I deserved "divorce", it wasnt the only solution or was it? The reason he gave on the divorce paper that I am failed to give him respect as my husband so that's why he decided to end this marriage. I am constantly asking this question in my mind "WAS THAT THE ONLY SOLUTION?" I never got careless about my duties and responsibilities. Even then if he was uncomfortable because of my arguements then couldn't he talk to my parents? My parents arranged this marriage so they deserve to have meeting with my husband's elders but they all refused to talk to my parents. I dont understand this attitude. It's very disturbing.
I am so sorry to hear this! I don't even know where to begin! I can't say why he divorced you but perhaps your husband was talked into divorcing you by his family; it's very common. You said your husband was caring and thoughtful and you could never imagine this. Has the divorce been finalized? Have you asked YOUR HUSBAND (not his family) why he divorced you?
he didnt talk to me. he got disappeard and he is still not facing me. yes alked to me on phone and didnt listen to me, he said "my family knew that I want to give you divorce so you will recieve the papers in 2 days Goodbye" that all he said in the last phone call.
My husband was abroad with his family when I delieverd the baby via c-section. And I had a problem with it, I explained my grief to him that how did I feel without him during those painful moments and he got irritated. Husbands normaly dont like complaints, I should have understood this reality, even then I dont feel that I deserved "divorce", it wasnt the only solution or was it? The reason he gave on the divorce paper that I am failed to give him respect as my husband so that's why he decided to end this marriage. I am constantly asking this question in my mind "WAS THAT THE ONLY SOLUTION?" I never got careless about my duties and responsibilities. Even then if he was uncomfortable because of my arguements then couldn't he talk to my parents? My parents arranged this marriage so they deserve to have meeting with my husband's elders but they all refused to talk to my parents. I dont understand this attitude. It's very disturbing.
its natural to want your husband to be with you during delievery theres nothing to be irritated about . Arguments happen between every husband and wife no matter how perfect the husband or wife is. i guess others have been talking him into the divorce which is verry common in our society ..
in his case ' u got careless .. etc' he should have talked to u about it first and given you some time .. especially since he knew what you are going thru .. delivery, depression..
try not to stress over this .. he's not worth your tears.. if he was you wouldnt be in tears
i know easy said but done.. but it's the truth
Oh my God ,,uff kase kase log hain dunia mei... Its just very sad to hear and im feeling sorry for u, so is that just coz of depression he is giving u divorce or some other issues too, wht a looser!!
As someone said above its better to live without him than bieng with two faced, lousy husband and father.. just think he doesn't deserve u and ur love. May Allah give u lot of strength and patience.
This sounds awful May Allah give you strength You really need to be strong now for your little one - she’s the one you focus your energy for now, not your husband
I feel so unqualified to give you advice :(God knows the pain you’re going through I sincerely hope things work out for you soon
Nightingale, what happened to you is very sad, indeed. Something quite similar happened in my family, except it was the girl's family who gave my cousin a divorce on the bases that "he was crazy" because he didn't blindly abide by his In-laws requests. They did the exact same thing to him, sent over the suprising divorce papers, and refused any communication. Six months later, he was forced to sign the papers.
But the difference here is that there is a child involved. Which you should be glad he's not taking away from you, as he seems like if you both had a son, he would have taken the son. You need to gather yourself together, as much as possible, be very strong for your girl and yourself. What he did, he will have to pay for, no questions about it. But right now only YOU can help yourself.
I'm assuming your husband is either in US or UK? And I'm pretty sure he got/ is getting married again, hence the sudden divorce. Is he in-need of a citizenship?
he didnt talk to me. he got disappeard and he is still not facing me. yes alked to me on phone and didnt listen to me, he said "my family knew that I want to give you divorce so you will recieve the papers in 2 days Goodbye" that all he said in the last phone call.
It sounds like he was forced into doing it. If he can't stand up for you now, he would have never been able to. Would you really want to be with someone who would treat you like his ghulam? Why should you not expect respect? He is not the only worthy of someone's respect? You are just as worthy as anybody else!
I say good riddance. Cut your losses and move on hun. He didn't deserve you and your beautiful daughter. I can only imagine what kind of loser father he would have turned out to be.
Is your child going to be safe? Who will get her custody?
May Allah give you strength You really need to be strong now for your little one - she’s the one you focus your energy for now, not your husband