I always feel that my parents favour my brothers. I am the only girl and it drives me crazy. My brothers always gang up against me and my parents usually take their side so I am alone. I hate it sooo much and it makes me hate my parents. I don’t know what to do…
Re: Favouring boys
Do you feel like this happening or is it really happening?
Examples would help.....maybe they are being protective?
Re: Favouring boys
its easier to hate them than to fix them. so continue to hate until you are married off or they have passed on to greener pastures.
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it is actually happening...i dont realy think they r being overprotective bcuz its not like they wont let me out of the house or something.. its more like if i am watchin tv and m bro wants the tv.. my parents will make me get up and give it to him .. same for basically everything.. if i say i need something my parents wont listen but one my bros needs it my parents will do it right at that moment... basically small stuff but A LOT of small stuff so it builds up
its easier to hate them than to fix them. so continue to hate until you are married off or they have passed on to greener pastures.
k thats harsh
I always feel that my parents favour my brothers. I am the only girl and it drives me crazy. My brothers always gang up against me and my parents usually take their side so I am alone. I hate it sooo much and it makes me hate my parents. I don't know what to do...
i didn't said something strange or different and definitely not harsh.
Re: Favouring boys
How old are you mahiya_f? Don't need the exact number but give me an idea..
How old are you mahiya_f? Don't need the exact number but give me an idea..
taveez nikalna hai kia?
try talking to your parents about how you feel. I've heard several similar stories. And parents sometimes don't realize that if they spoil one child so much (regardless of gender), they're hurting that child in the long run, as the child grows to become self-centered by favoring them too much. I'm not kidding, there are true stories of overly favored laadlay sons/daughters who grow up to not even care for their parents in their old age. Not only that, they grow up with the belief that they are entitled to things that may not even rightfully deserve.
I read that a man came to the Prophet SAWS and told him that he purchased a slave a a gift for one of his sons. The man wanted the Prophet to bear witness to his testimony and "generosity." The Prophet SAWS told the man that he REFUSES to be witness to such an injustice. The Prophet SAWS told the man that treat your children FAIRLY otherwise they will RESENT/TURN AGAINST YOU.
**In my experience, when you sit down and NICELY explain to your parents how you feel, sometimes they learn from their mistakes because they feel concerned about the fact that it's hurting you. And they'll appreciate that you've handled the situation maturely instead of yelling, screaming, slamming doors, attacking siblings, etc.
Also, keep in mind that many times parents treat kids differently due to their personalities. For example, a more independent natured child might not require as much attention and protection as a needy/dependent child. Are you brothers younger than you? Maybe your parents think that you are more MATURE and COMPROMISING and wouldn't mind giving the TV to a brother who might fall to the floor and throw a screaming crying temper tantrum because he didn't get the TV (parents hate to deal with tantrums from children). Who knows, maybe deep down they appreciate your maturity more.
I don't know your parents well, but you need to talk to them nicely about how you feel. There have been a few times where my mom has apologized to me after I let her know that her words/actions hurt me. So try that.
**
taveez nikalna hai kia?
Haha, I realise it sounds super creepy - the only reason I was asking is because another only-daughter-all-brothers friend of mine used to say similar things in her teen years. :)
She grew out of it.
Re: Favouring boys
i'm in my teen years too....
I've tried explaining to my parents a billion times and they say they understand... so for two days they will act like they think we r equal but then they go back to the same way as b4... or they make fun of me by saying stuff like "***** let your overly sensitive sister sit there bcuz of bla bla bla" which is worse cuz then my brother say stuff like that too... i love my parents and my brothers but its just not fair
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mahiya_f, don't worry - your brothers and parents love you wayyyyy more than you can imagine!
That friend I was talking about earlier, got married last month and you should have seen her brothers and parents - too emotional. :( :( :(
Re: Favouring boys
^ i agree..
she will grow out of it
mahiya_f, don't worry - your brothers and parents love you wayyyyy more than you can imagine!
That friend I was talking about earlier, got married last month and you should have seen her brothers and parents - too emotional. :( :( :(
khushi ke emotions hon ge....ke gaye....jaan chooti.
Take an example from supernanny. Secretly place a camcorder in the corner of the living room. Record a few times when u r subjected to this injustice. Play it back to your parents and ask them if they see favouritism.
That’s sad. Unfortunately it happens to many girls in our culture. I have two brothers, and they were always allowed everything and even free contact with any non-Pakistani and Pakistani person, while they forbade me many contacts and many other things.
Talking didn’t help in my case, because whenever I asked why my brothers were allowed to do something and why I wasn’t, they always answered, ‘because they’re boys and you’re more vulnerable being a girl, so stop fussing about this topic’.
Does it have something to do with the fact that Pakistani people often still prefer to have sons instead of daughters? I remember the disappointment of some of my inlaws and some other family members when my firstborn was a girl! A few family members said that boys are more worthy because they stay with their parents and always take care of them, while the girls are to be wed to some cousin and take care of his parents and family, so the parents of the girl are left with ‘nothing’. 
And that’s why boys are favoured and thus in some situations treated better than girls.
That is one explanation of the possible situation.
Another is the “logic” of certain Pakistani parents. They want to prepare their daughters to be able to cope with any possible future situation after married life, so they are more strict towards their daughter(s). One of my Aunties once remarked that girls who are loved a lot and used to many privileges at their parents’ home have more problems adapting to married life.
So could it be possible that your parents are using this “method” to raise you? Maybe they figure that if they are more strict towards you, they are preparing you better for any possible future and think they are doing this in your best interest.
That’s another explanation of what could be your situation.
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^^ So u r suggesting that she should trade her parents in someway or other?
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well i was treated well but in my husbands side its the son who is treated like a king and the girl like a maasi :(
**
Take an example from supernanny. Secretly place a camcorder in the corner of the living room. Record a few times when u r subjected to this injustice. Play it back to your parents and ask them if they see favouritism.
**
That thought has entered my mind many times, Halwa! I'm not married BUT I've wondered if "secretly placing a camcorder in the corner of the living room" would help many women who suffer from the cruel injustice of monster-in-laws and sister-in-laws. Then they can show their hubbies......BUT before doing that, they should make multiple copies (but keep quiet about the copies), cuz you never know if and when you'll need it again!
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^ I second that!